


The Lost

by argle_fraster, astrangerenters



Series: The Lost [1]
Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, F/M, Japan, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 69,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argle_fraster/pseuds/argle_fraster, https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/pseuds/astrangerenters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will you remember me? Lost for so long? Will you be on the other side, will you forget me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written summer of 2009, and posted at argle_fraster and hiamafic @ LJ.
> 
>  **Update Late 2015** : Yo, I think all the images are back. Let us know if they disappear.
> 
> Many thanks to our readers old and new. Thanks for keeping the overdramatic zombie AU love alive.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2e6h56c)

The hand around his waist gripped tighter, more possessively as his senpai’s warm breath tickled his neck. “Come on,” he said, louder than he should have in the dorm corridor at three in the morning. “Let me at least get my key out.”

“I am so wasted right now,” he heard against his earlobe, shivering at the feeling of moisture from the other man’s tongue.

He shakily got the key out of the pocket of his jeans, shoving it roughly into the lock and turning. They nearly tumbled into the room, and he barely got the door closed and relocked before fingers were tugging at the buttons of his shirt. “Your roommate here?” Senpai asked, almost an embarrassed afterthought.

“Home for the weekend.”

“Home for the weekend. Good,” was the response, and his limbs were so light and his movements sloppy as he struggled out of his shoes, kicking them to the corner of the room. Normally, he’d take the time to line them up, something his roommate always laughed at him for.

Jin’s desk was closer, and his hip collided with it hard enough to knock the guy’s folder full of old papers and class handouts to the floor. He’d fix it. Later. Instead he laughed, scooting until he was sitting down next to his roommate’s pencil case and pulling Senpai forward.

His mind was blurry, floating, awash with memories of the hours at the desk just feet away. Lecturing, flash cards, chart after fucking chart. And having Senpai watching over his shoulders, standing closer than he’d thought made sense, but now. Now it made sense.

There’d been sake. And then beer, and then something with an umbrella in it once his other classmates had gone back to the dorms before them. Macro Theory was done, his minor was halfway complete, and he was on Jin’s desk trying to catch his breath. He struggled out of his button-down as clumsy fingers worked on his belt. He was drunk, really drunk. But was this really going to happen?

Senpai had always been so quiet. But with a few drinks, that had changed. They both still smelled like the bar, the sweetness of the sake and the cloying cigarette smoke mingled, burrowing itself in his skin. Senpai had too much clothes on. He got greedy, tugging at the other man’s jacket, pulling at the thin t-shirt underneath and dragging his mouth along his jaw.

“Should have gotten a better grade,” Senpai was mumbling, voice husky and slurring. “Don’t know what we were celebrating.”

“Shut up.”

For someone always with his nose in a book, Senpai had a great body. His fingers lingered there, the skin there hot to the touch. He wanted to learn every part of it. He was too wasted to know who moved first, but he was off the desk, stumbling in the dark over piles of clothes and empty instant ramen cups and pulling Senpai with him.

He landed on his back, and why did they still have so much clothes on? The asshole in the room next door had his music on, a thumping bass that was pulsing almost rhythmically. For once, he didn’t actually mind the rumbling coming through the thin walls of the dorm. He caught Senpai’s lip between his teeth, sucking and nipping. There was still so much clothes. He was sweating.

It took an eternity to get all the way down to his boxers, and he arched up off of the mattress as Senpai reached for him. “Jesus,” he muttered, and the alcohol was making him feel like he was in free fall. It was clumsy. It was obvious that the older man didn’t know if he should focus on kissing him or working his cock up and down, but it wasn’t a dilemma he’d ever faced either.

The heat between his legs was building, and there wasn’t any talking now. Just hitching breaths and sighs and the music rattling the dorm wall. He ran his hand down the other man’s bicep as he worked, feeling the muscles tighten and loosen. It was so fast, like he was somewhere else as he came, burying his face in the other man’s neck, cigarettes and the faintest cologne and the thin black chain of his necklace. He’d probably just throw his sheets away since they were on break for the next few weeks anyhow.

He was tired, booze catching up the way it tended to at this point in the night, but he ignored his body’s protests and kissed his way along Senpai’s collarbone, letting his own hand go between their bodies. He was rewarded with a groan as he undid the small button keeping the front of the other man’s boxers closed. “Please,” Senpai whispered before pulling their mouths together again.

He was probably too sloppy, too rough, so drunk there was no way it was enjoyable, but the other man’s breath kept catching, moaning quietly as their lips broke contact every few seconds. It was so strange to feel the usually controlled, intellectually-minded man losing it, and it only spurred him on. He pushed Senpai’s face away, drawn once more to the scent of him, to the pulse point on his neck. He sucked at the skin there, rough and needy as his fingers slipped clumsily over the man’s cock.

There’d probably be a mark in the morning, purple and nasty, but he wasn’t hearing any complaints. Just the bass making his blood rush and the increasingly noisy sounds coming from the man beside him. “Oh god.” Senpai made some strangled gasp, like he couldn’t believe what was happening either, and there was warmth spilling into his hand before he realized it.

They both came down, crashing with the realization of what had happened in the minutes since leaving the bar. All he could do before passing out was to find the thin sheet the two of them had kicked down to the bottom of the bed, pulling it up to cover them both before he forgot himself entirely in sleep.

When he awoke, his head was pounding and he’d forgotten that he’d set his alarm for 8:00. He knocked it off the table beside the bed, hearing it clatter to the floor with a thud. He pulled the sheet up over his head and was almost back to sleep before he realized he was alone.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2n15r35)

Jin slammed the door so hard the mug on Jun's desk rattled against the grain.

"Asshole," his roommate grumbled. The lines on Jun's homework blurred a bit, numbers fading in and out of each other- he'd just started back up and he was already having trouble focusing. The semester was not looking promising, though he blamed a large part of that on Professor Ogura's monotonous voice that had soporific properties of uncharted power. Trying to drone out Jin's repeated mumbling, which Jun assumed was only supposed to be for Jin himself, he reached over and turned up the volume on the small television set perched atop a precariously high stack of hard-cover books.

He cracked his knuckles and looked back down at his statistics homework, but within moments Jin was loudly throwing around old notebooks, pulling them carelessly from his desk drawers. "You'd think that there'd be anyway I could just-"

"Jin," Jun called, taking a few seconds to try and calm his rising ire, "are you looking for something?"

His only answer was the crash of more books to the growing pile on the floor, and the crumpling of paper. Raising his fingers to massage his temples, Jun sighed. He hadn't expected the start of the new term to be easy, but he hadn't counted on pages of homework assignments within the first week. It was hard enough to get his brain back into study-mode; he could have used a week or two to ease back into the whole thing.

By the look of things, his best bet would be to hit the library after his last lecture just to get some peace and quiet in attempts to get his assignments done.

He leaned over and turned the volume on the TV up again. The woman on-location cut to one of night anchors in a crisp suit, hands folded seriously over a stack of documents on the desk in front of him.

"Don't know why he's yelling at me," Jin continued grumbling under his breath behind Jun's back, and there was the sound of what seemed to be the desk drawer getting pulled noisily from the tracks. "Bastard just likes to freak out and hear himself scream-"

Jun only got to five before getting too upset to continue, and had to restart the slow numbering under his breath. Tomorrow he'd hit the library. He couldn't afford to fall behind on studying because his roommate had a problem controlling his noise level.

He didn't think Professor Ogura was going to accept the excuse of 'I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't finish my homework because my roommate is a dick' for why all Jun's assignments were handed in blank.

"We are receiving reports from several government channels labeled as urgent, and apologize for interrupting the regularly scheduled local sports coverage," the anchor on the television screen said, and Jun's eyes lazily flicked to one side to watch. "According to the information we've received, there are a large number of potentially dangerous-"

The TV jolted black, and Jin's finger fell away from the power button with a 'tsk' of annoyance.

"Jin, I was watching that," Jun said.

"Some of us can't study with the television on," came the retort. He heard his roommate's weight settle into his desk chair, and several pages turn in the notebook before the music started up through his laptop speakers. For someone who "couldn't study with the TV on", Jin listened to his music awfully loud while reading textbooks. Jun was half-convinced the guy had an iTunes playlist titled something like _metal to drive Jun crazy_ or _seizure-inducing techno rave mix part III_ just for the occasions when he cracked a book open and pretended to absorb what it was attempting to teach him.

Jun took a deep breath to steady himself. "Think you could turn that down a bit?"

The only response was the little 'pings' of the volume being turned up. Swallowing down every possible scenario for how he could get away with murdering his roommate and blaming it on the custodial staff, Jun reached into the top drawer on his desk and pulled out his headphones and iPod.

It wasn't much, but sometimes he could pretend like Jin's emo music tastes were drowned out by _Contemporary Sounds of the Nishiki Biwa._

\--

He awoke to furious pounding on his door, so hard and fast it knocked down the coat hooks they had taped on the back with 3M strips. It startled him almost out of bed; his fingers had barely closed around his glasses on the desk before the door was thrown open by the RA holding a key with shaking hands.

"Get up," he rasped. "Get up and get your stuff."

"What?" Jun croaked- it felt like something had died in his throat. If he had to suffer through one more 'readiness' fire drill he was going to chuck his alarm clock at the RA's head.

The RA just threw the light switch on, flooding the room so fast it stung Jun's eyes. "Get up. Now."

There was something in his voice; the hitch, the tone, the waver- there was something on that was more than the university keeping consistent with fire drill policies. The RA was a big guy- was on the rowing team- and he looked nervous. Anxious. It was making little knots in Jun's stomach that didn't go away even as he rolled over off the side of the bed and grabbed for his book-bag half-hidden beneath the mattress.

"Akanishi," he hissed. Jin hadn't moved, even when the door had opened. The RA had moved onto the next room, and Jun could hear the activity going on in the hallway. There were a lot of voices, and they all sounded very awake, but he couldn't hear any sirens. Nothing was ringing or flashing through the corridor.

He punched the lump in Jin's bed none-too-gently. " _Jin_. Get up, something is going on."

As his roommate's sleeping form wriggled a bit, Jun started shoving what he could into his bag- his iPod, the book he'd been studying for Professor Ogura's class, whatever he'd need in the next day or so. He didn't know what was going on, but it seemed like if anything, it would last for at least 24 hours. Maybe longer.

He swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat. Maybe there was a threat. Nuclear war, attack from the east- it could be anything.

"Jin!" A hand shot out from underneath the blankets, slapping Jun's hand away.

"Not going," came the muffled response.

Jun glanced towards the open door- people were filing past, whispering amongst themselves. He could feel their nervousness with every quickening breath. "We have to go, RA said to get your stuff. Something is going on."

"I said I'm not going." Another slap, harder this time, and Jun danced away from the side of the bed. He reached for his shoes by the door, and slung his arms quickly through a hooded sweatshirt. The RA appeared back in the doorway, hands bracing either side. His hair was slightly askew, and he looked out of breath- out of breath? The man had more muscles in one bicep than half the floor did in their whole bodies.

It was not making Jun feel any less unsettled.

"Leave him," the RA demanded.

"But-" Jun started. He wasn't even sure why- he hadn't gotten any studying done earlier thanks to Jin's fascination with music consisting wholly of synthesized drum beats.

His RA was motioning for him to follow, out into the throw of people moving through the halls. "Just leave him, come on. We have to move."

Jun slung his backpack over one shoulder, and did as he was told. He spared Jin one short backwards glance before he was engulfed in the crowd beyond his dorm portal. There were so many, not just from his floor; the girls from two over, the guys beyond them, everyone was there, jumbled up together trying to get out of the building. There were still no alarms ringing- and in the chaos, the emergency lights near the ceiling looked oddly dull.

His heart was in his throat, and it throbbed.

"What's going on?" he asked, but his RA had disappeared further into the crowd, swimming through the sea of bodies, and he couldn't identify anyone he recognized around him. He just kept moving, keeping up with the frenzied pace, trying to discern enough of the whispers to understand what was going on.

All he could catch was _something crazy_ and _see the news? this is about the news broadcast_.

They wouldn't survive a nuclear war. It couldn't be a nuclear war- could it?

\--

There were people everywhere.

The resident advisors and dorm staff were trying to keep the students orderly, but nobody was paying much attention. With the late hour and the general confusion, Jun wasn’t surprised. The campus public address system was on.

“…A, B and C dorm complexes are being routed to south campus. Repeat. A, B and C undergraduate dorm complexes are being routed to south campus. Science buildings and computer labs. Stay together and remain calm. D and E undergraduate dorm complexes and graduate dorms are being routed to north campus. Repeat. The sports gyms on north campus will be housing D and E undergraduate…”

Jun pulled his phone from his pocket as he shuffled along behind some chattering girls. He blinked a few times, wondering if he was dreaming. Network busy, the phone readout was telling him. Looking around him, other students were equally frustrated while a few were complaining about dropped calls.

They were led away from his set of dorms and north through the main campus buildings. The girls in front of him were in their pajamas. “I was going to go work out, but they had the whole place barricaded off this afternoon.”

“Really?” her friend replied. “But we’re going there now. What the hell is going on?”

He tuned out their conversation, letting it blend in with the dozens of other conversations going on around him. He was just so damn tired. And everyone was trying to call home, call friends. For something so chaotic, people weren’t moving all that fast. It took the better part of an hour to get from the dorm to the gym.

It was surreal. There were large spotlights set up, barricades, and when they came within fifty meters of the building or so, there was a police officer standing on one of the fountains that decorated this part of campus.

“We need female students to go left and males to the right. Please remain orderly! Keep cell phone usage to a minimum. Females to the left…”

The talkative girls moved left, and Jun was shuffled right. People kept jostling and pushing, nearly knocking his bag from his shoulder. He’d given up entirely on the phone for now. There was a queue winding around the building, all tired male students looking bored as the line slowly moved. Jun followed the herd into the queue, and another hour or so passed before he got close to the entrance. What the hell was taking so long?

As he got up to the door, he saw a strange scene. “Is that an infrared camera?” the guys behind him were mumbling. No wonder there was a hold up. Each person was expected to stand still while some people in white coats watched on a monitor as another pointed some kind of device at them. It was something out of a science fiction movie. After that, they disappeared into the building.

The line continued slowly forward. The young man in front of Jun stepped up, yawning heavily as the guy with the lab coat pointed the imager at him. The device beeped, and the two workers behind the monitor made a face. Jun could only watch as one of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police took the student by the arm.

“Come along with me, sir.”

The student bent over and picked up his backpack. “Something wrong?”

“No, absolutely not,” the guy in the lab coat told him. “Just a precaution.” Jun felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as the policeman escorted the student away. But it was his turn. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t want to get taken away.

He stood still, looking anywhere but at the man with the beeping machine. “Try to stay calm,” the man said quietly. “We don’t want a false reading.”

Jun nodded, staring at the gym door. He’d pass through there. He was going to get inside, and the need to get inside and out of this line was all that consumed his thoughts as he stood there.

“Thank you. Please go on ahead.” The next student was already moving into his space, and Jun felt a rush of relief. He pushed through the doors only to see that there was another line. They were in the hallway outside the gymnasium, and he went up on his tiptoes, seeing white curtains drawn and students disappearing behind them. What the hell?

This line moved slowly, and Jun checked his phone for the time. It was nearly 4:00 in the morning now. Would they cancel classes? How long was this going to take? What were they even doing? His time came to go behind the curtained off area. He sat in a chair and waited, backpack at his feet.

There was a woman with a clipboard. “Name.”

“Matsumoto Jun.”

“Dorm?”

“D complex, Yoshimoto Hall, room…”

“Thank you.” The woman pinned a paper bracelet on him like he was in a hospital and left with a swish of the curtain.

A harried looking nurse came in soon after. “Finger please.” He simply held his left hand out. The woman swabbed his index finger with a cotton ball, sending the harsh, sterile scent of alcohol into his nostrils, offering no warning before she poked him with a needle. He heard the little click before he felt it, and by then she was already holding his finger with a gloved hand, squeezing a droplet of his blood out onto a slide. He didn’t get a chance to see where she put it.

“Thank you,” she said, dropping a bandage into his open palm. “Move along please.”

He was shuffled along, and there was a police officer waiting to direct him. “Into the locker room. Please be sure to put your bandaid on. Into the locker room…”

Jun’s panic was growing as he was routed into the locker room. There were people in here too, not watching them shower, but standing by huge laundry carts. “Please deposit your clothes in here. They will be washed and returned.”

Everyone was already stripping down, no time to be modest, but Jun was puzzled. How would they know whose clothes belonged to who? He shook his head and took off his sweatshirt and jeans and shot them across the room like he was throwing a basketball. Everyone else had the same idea. He was down to his underwear and opened the little locker. Inside was a pair of hospital scrubs, one size fits most. He frowned, shoving his backpack inside and taking the clothes to one of the shower stalls. At least they weren’t taking his underpants.

He had no soap and just let the hot water beat down on his skin. It had been over an hour since he’d been pulled out of the dorm. Had Jin even gotten up? If he had, he was probably calling up whichever foreign exchange student he was seeing this week. Practicing his English. Or his French, Jun thought with a roll of his eyes.

What was happening with the people who had decided not to follow along? The guy in the shower stall next to him was humming, as if he didn’t have a care in the world while two guys a few stalls down were having a noisy conversation.

“You think they’re putting the people who didn’t pass the scan in containment?”

“What do you think this is? This is the containment, man. They’re keeping the infected ones out.”

Jun strained to hear as the water streamed over his head. “What do you mean infected?” the friend asked. “I thought the news was saying it was just a rumor. Some lab accident getting over exaggerated.”

The two students’ showers turned off, effectively ending their conversation, and Jun stayed a few minutes more under the spray before turning it off, using the coarse white towel provided and getting into the green scrubs. The pants were too big and the shirt was a little tight, but he didn’t care. Containment? Infected? Lab accident?

He retrieved his backpack from his locker, and then kicked it. “Damn it,” he swore, realizing he’d left his cell phone in the pocket of his jeans. Those weren’t coming back, he figured. They’d been scanned, tagged, poked and scrubbed clean. The clothes were getting incinerated, weren’t they? He’d seen enough movies.

The rear exit for the locker room led to the gym where there were already dozens of other guys in green, ill-fitting scrubs wandering around, talking, sitting. There were cots lined up, military style. Like a refugee camp or a shelter after a natural disaster. But nobody was panicking. Everyone was just quiet, exhausted, overwhelmed.

He saw the guy from next door, the jerk with the subwoofers, and he walked the other way. He wasn’t sleeping there if he could help it. Jun made his way across the gym to the final row. There was a bed open next to the one just under the basketball hoop, and the kid there was waving him over.

“Here, right next to me.”

Jun didn’t recognize him from his dorm. But it was a large campus – it was impossible to know that many people. He realized that there was soft music piping in through the gymnasium speakers, a piano sonata or something. The scoreboard behind the hoop was on, providing most of the light since the gym lights were dimmed. 4:30 in the morning was still 4:30 in the morning.

He set his backpack down on the cot and sat, kicking his shoes off and sliding them underneath. “Sure is weird, huh?” the other guy said, and despite the weird atmosphere, he didn’t seem as upset as Jun felt.

“Yeah.”

“They just came by a few minutes ago, saying there’d be some announcement at 8:00 AM. I don’t know if it’s about classes or what’s going on, but they said 8:00.”

Jun nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

“I’m Aiba, by the way. Masaki. I’m in the physics department. Okay, scratch that. Formerly of the physics department. Well.” The guy held up a letter he was writing. “I was actually going in to change my major to biochem today, so I guess that’s out.”

“Jun. Accounting. And econ, I guess.”

Aiba smiled. “Number cruncher.”

He hugged his backpack close and laid down, shoving at the pillow as he tried to get comfortable. “Guess so.”

“Going to sleep?”

This guy was already annoying, but he was just so exhausted that he didn’t care enough to yell at him to shut up. Anyone was better than dealing with Jin. “Wake me if they announce anything.”

“Sure.”

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore everyone’s conversation. He hadn’t brought any manga, but it wasn’t really good lighting to read anyhow. He pulled his iPod from his backpack, suddenly thankful he hadn’t left that in his jeans. Aiba told people passing by to be quiet, although he got a little noisy telling people that the bed on his other side was “empty, but reserved.”

Finally, his exhaustion claimed him.

\--

Jun woke to a finger poking at this shoulder.

"Jun," came the hushed voice. "Jun, wake up. They're starting the announcement."

It took several agonizingly long moments for Jun to re-orient himself- he wasn't in his bed, wasn't in his dorm, and it was not Jin who was waking him. He blinked up at the harsh lights hanging overhead, struggling to remember what had happened before he'd fallen into a fitful sleep with his iPod on. One ear bud had fallen out of his ear, and he reached up to detangle the cord from around his neck.

Aiba. Aiba and the slightly itchy regulation issued clothes against his skin.

Jun sat up and grabbed for his glasses again, rubbing at his temples. The irritatingly soothing elevator music stopped with two melodic 'pings'.

"This is an emergency action notification. All broadcast stations and cable systems shall transmit this emergency action notification message. This is Radio Nippon, JORF 1422khz. We will continue to serve the Tokyo area."

Jun looked uneasily over at Aiba, who was sitting on his cot with one leg tucked beneath his body, twiddling his fingers. The other man didn't look nervous, but when he caught Jun's gaze, there was a bit of uncertainty on his features. The activity around them, which had been a bit sluggish and slow as the exhausted people continued to pile inside, slowed further to a halt as all eyes turned up towards the speakers mounted on the walls.

"Do not use your telephone. The telephone lines should be kept open for emergency use." Two more beeps- the end of the station's own message, then. Jun glanced past Aiba to the cot that had been "empty but reserved" when he'd fallen asleep; there was a pristine-looking bookbag sitting atop the sheets, which didn't appear to have been slept in. Whoever Aiba had been waiting for seemed to have showed up.

"It is April 10th. Due to possible health threats within Japan, a national quarantine order has been issued effective immediately. All citizens are to report to the nearest safety center. Repeat, all citizens are to report to the nearest safety center."

"Safety center?" Jun murmured, under his breath.

"It's what they've been calling this," Aiba answered. "Everyone- the orderlies, the security guards. I guess it's Safety Center 9."

There was a bit of static, just a crinkle, and even that sent shivers up Jun's spine. "Non-infected parties are to remain within the confines until the threat to public health has been declared to be passed. Remain orderly and respectful at all times, and comply with all instructions given by security and health officials. More information will be dispersed as it becomes available."

Almost immediately, the melodic keyboard music started back up again, and the crowd began to get restless. The swelling of voices against the songs piped through the speakers was dissonant and jarring- but not anymore than the broadcast itself had been.

"I guess that's it?" Aiba cocked his head a bit, glancing up once last time at the ceiling beams and rickety catwalks.

There was a knot of apprehension in Jun's throat that he couldn't swallow down. "Possible health threats?"

"Guess it's something about an infection," Aiba said. He shrugged.

"I watched a guy get hauled out by security when I came in." Jun's fingers tightened involuntarily around his iPod, still in the palm of his hand. The metal was warm, but the worn sides were oddly comforting. "It isn't possible- they were scanning us for something, don't you remember?"

Instead of answering his question, Aiba reached under his cot and pulled out a bottle of water, handing it Jun. "Here. They've been passing them out to everyone, so I grabbed one while you were sleeping."

"Thanks," Jun said, slowly, taking the offered container. He stared down at the clear liquid splashing within the plastic. "I don't think you're going to get to change your major today."

"They canceled classes," the other man said. He swung his dangling leg up on the cot and tapped out a rhythm on his knees with both thumbs. "A bunch of the grad students are helping out trying to keep things calm. But that's all we've been told."

Jun watched as a young-looking man, probably a freshman, wandered into the sleeping quarters with wide eyes. His hands were wrapped so tightly around his backpack straps that Jun could tell his knuckles were white even from his seated vantage point. Tensions were high, so high he could practically taste it in the air.

"How long do you think this will last?" he asked. It was mostly rhetorical, and mostly to himself- it was obvious that no one else had any information, either.

"I hope not that long!" Aiba said. "I was supposed to go home this weekend to take care of my dog. He's terrible when he gets his hair cut, it's always a big ordeal."

Jun didn't really want to tell the man that, given the way things were looking around him, it was doubtful he would get out in time to assist in dog-grooming activities. Aiba was annoying and talked too much and too loud, but at least he was talking. Mindless chatter and unnecessary babble was better than the stony silent treatment most of the orderlies seemed to have been ordered to give. It was nice, in a weird way, to have someone to just talk with.

He screwed off the lid to the water bottle and took a couple sips.

"Do you have a cell phone?" Aiba asked. "I know they told us not to use them, but I really wanted to call home, and I haven't been able to get a signal at all."

"I left mine in my clothes," Jun sighed. Upon seeing Aiba's slightly confused expression, he added, "I'm never going to see it again."

He took another sip of water, and nearly spat it out when a figure approached them looking haggard and tired, running a hand wearily through dark strands of hair.

"Oh!" Aiba exclaimed, hopping off the bed with alarming energy. "Any more information?"

"Nothing new," came the response, followed by an exhausted-sounding sigh. "Just that-"

He stopped, and so did Jun's heart. Someone nearby was complaining loudly about the lack of privacy in the sleeping quarters- it was ridiculously loud against Jun's ears, like they were screaming directly next to him. After what felt like a lifetime, Aiba shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking between the two.

"Oh, right," he said, with a little laugh. "Jun, this is Sho. He's a graduate student."

Jun felt like he'd eaten a handful of cotton balls. "Yeah."

"Classes are probably canceled for the rest of the week," Sho finished. His voice sounded much weaker than it had initially.

Aiba actually looked disappointed. "Dang, really?"

Jun focused on a few of the security guards walking past the far wall as Sho flopped down on the cot with the book-bag on it. He kept watching the figures as they moved around, but other than the guy who liked his bass loud enough to wake the dead, he couldn't see anyone else he recognized, not even his resident advisor.

He actually found himself wishing that he'd managed to get Jin to come along.

"But we should get more information soon, right?" Aiba was asking, when Jun crashed back into the reality surrounding him.

"Dunno," came the response, muffled by Sho's face in his pillow. When he ceased answering questions entirely, Aiba just sighed and turned back to face Jun, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well," he said, pausing. "I think we might be here for awhile."

"Think you might be right," Jun choked out.

Aiba reached into his backpack and brandished a small box with a flourish. "Wanna play cards?"


	2. Chapter 2

As the minutes and hours passed, Jun didn't think he was fully processing just how bad things were.

He and Aiba had played go fish for two hours before switching to poker. Aiba had a box of animal crackers in his own bag, and it was what they were using to bet. Jun's new friend was far friendlier than anyone he'd met at the university since he'd started. Maybe he'd just gone into the wrong major.

“Raise you a cow,” Aiba said cheerfully, tossing the little cookie in between them. They'd earned the glares of their de facto jailers, pushing their two cots together. But each game and each animal cracker he'd eaten kept his mind off of the fact that he couldn't call home and tell his parents which safety center he'd been placed in.

“Call,” he said, digging through his pile. “Um, I have a hippo?”

“That's fine.”

The public address came on with a screech, interrupting the quiet music. Jun was almost grateful for the break. If they kept playing this dentist office slash elevator music he was going to go crazy. “We'll be serving lunch in cardio room 2. Please queue up in an orderly fashion. Thank you.”

Aiba grumbled. “And I had a full house.” They tossed the cards down, getting to their feet. Jun let his eyes drift elsewhere in the gymnasium as Aiba called to the student in the bed to his other side. “Sho, you coming?”

Jun felt a sick rumble in his stomach, and it sure as hell wasn't from being hungry. Not with the way he'd been snacking all morning. It was a big campus, but the econ department wasn't that big. It wasn't unreasonable to see Sho again, although this was his dissertation year, and he was probably locked in his room 24/7. Not that Jun had seen him in months.

Sho got to his feet, closing his laptop. “Battery's dying anyhow,” he said, standing at Aiba's other side. They were stuck here now, but thankfully Sho had been preoccupied and hadn't tried to make small talk. And Jun wasn't in the mood to chat him up. Not after what had happened.

They followed the other shuffling students from the gym door and into the hallway. The line to the cardio room was already pretty long. Jun made sure to keep Aiba between him and Sho, which wasn't much trouble since Aiba seemed to be interested in talking to them both.

“So do you guys know each other? You said you were in economics, too, right Jun?”

Sho was picking at invisible lint on his shirt while Jun stared just past Aiba. “I'm focusing on accounting now. Just picking up econ as a second area of concentration is all.”

“We don't have classes together,” Sho added.

“Well, right. Of course not. You're older,” Aiba reasoned. The line moved forward as an awkward silence settled over them. The public address system was now playing some older music – nothing that college guys listened to. He supposed the staff got to have their pick too.

All of the treadmills and stair machines were shoved against the mirrored walls, and Jun found himself eerily reflected a few times as they entered. There was a table set up with trays of onigiri, warm dumplings and salad. The folks in charge were keeping a close eye on what people were taking. “Wow, pretty good spread,” Aiba mused.

Jun was actually quite impressed, and he was eager to get a good meal. It sure beat the instant ramen cups he was living off of when the cafeteria prices started to destroy his wallet. He was reaching for one of the styrofoam trays when Sho's voice interrupted his quest for food. “They told us,” he was saying, voice low and hushed. “Don't know how long we'll be here, so we're using up the fresh stuff first. While the fridges are working.”

Whatever grudge he had against Sho disappeared as he took the plastic wrapped onigiri in his hand and put it on his tray. Sho had information that not everyone else did. “What do you mean while the fridges are working?”

Aiba was spooked. “I thought this was just a medical problem. Why would that affect the electricity?”

He heard Sho and Aiba pick up the packaged rice balls behind him. “I don't know,” Sho repeated. “They just...I don't know. It's just what I heard them talking about. Nobody has any idea. That's why they don't answer anyone's questions.”

Jun nearly dropped the salad tongs, earning a mean look from the grim looking man keeping an eye on the queue. He was holding up the line. He added some to his tray, wondering how long they'd be here. And when he'd get to have a fresh salad again after this meal. They finished getting through the line, taking the trays back to the gym. He wondered if this was what being in prison was like.

“Sho, pull your cot over,” Aiba demanded, settling himself on the bed. “We're going to play blackjack next.”

Jun accidentally met Sho's gaze and quickly looked down, digging into his lunch. He heard the other cot scrape across the gym floor, and Aiba made a pleased noise as he munched on his dumplings. “Can you get wi-fi in here?” Jun asked under his breath.

If he knew Sho as well as he thought, then the laptop would stay on until it went through its death rattle. “School network's down.”

Damn it. He had no phone, and there was no way to email out. Or check the news and see what the hell was going on. He was itching to just leave the building, see if the trains were running and just go home. But if the radio message was anything to believe, people were going to shelters. His parents, his sister...had they already gone on ahead to one closer to home?

“Kinda dark in here,” Aiba announced. “Those shades on the outside?”

Jun looked over. He hadn't even noticed, he'd been so caught up in their card game before. But the gym windows were covered. “Not shades,” Sho answered, swearing under his breath as his rice ball fell apart and into his lap. “They're blocking it out on purpose with tarps. I mean, that's the rumor.”

“Why? That's just stupid,” Aiba complained. “Like we're not supposed to be curious at all?”

“There's a lot about this that's stupid,” Sho replied. And Jun agreed. They finished their lunch quietly, tossing the trays in the bins set up by the pushed back bleachers.

Aiba got the cards out again. The animal crackers weren't going to last, and Jun hadn't even thought to bring snacks. Sho got out his wallet, tossing out some small bills. “I expect those back. It's just for the game, you hear me?”

“Yes, Senpai,” he mumbled before even realizing it and felt a flush rise in his cheeks. It was coming back. Everything he'd tried to forget, shove down so he could just focus on his studies.

Aiba remained uncharacteristically quiet, for the few hours Jun had been acquainted with him. Sho cleared his throat, reaching for the deck.

“I'll shuffle.”

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=9zr6n6)

Jun woke to an arm across his waist and a face nestled into his arm. He sighed, and tried to push the lump that had wormed its way, once again, onto his pillow away, but the effort was a bit half-hearted. He'd learned that shoving Aiba over really didn't do much other than give him five minutes of respite before the cuddle pile came back. As much as he'd bemoaned the fact that they'd never shoved their beds back apart after pushing them together, he was a bit glad for it now. A little bit of human contact in the sterile environment they were being kept in was more important than he'd ever imagined prior.

He sighed, rolling over.

"Curry," Aiba mumbled into the linen of the pillowcase.

"Mm," Jun answered. The pillows were so flat they were almost uncomfortable, but after a few nights, his neck had gotten used to it. If nothing else, he was going to have to be okay with it, because it didn't look like they were getting released any time soon. What had been touted as a "few days" was rapidly turning into "upwards of a few weeks", and they hadn't even been given any further information other than classes would be canceled for as long as the student body remained inside the gymnasium.

Aiba's warmth snuggled once again into Jun's back. "... make sure you stir the sauce..."

"Yeah, yeah," Jun grumbled, swatting a bit at Aiba's face- the last morning he'd woken with a drool spot on his shirt, and it had taken forever to get dry. He wished he had his own clothes- wished he had his phone, too, even if it was obvious from everyone else's efforts that cell service was virtually non-existent. It had been three days and they'd barely heard anything; most of their information came from Sho, who still managed to be one step ahead of the orderlies in terms of what was going on.

Sleep was not coming back. Jun just stared at the beds beyond their bizarre triple- lined up like coffins, white and impersonal. Everyone was living out of backpacks, holding onto whatever they had managed to get into the center with them. How long could they continue like that? There should have been more announcements, more information- but the radio just kept playing the saccharine elevator music. Jun found himself nearly aching to hear something familiar, even the god-forsaken beats of Jin's techno rave playlists.

"Stir the sauce," Aiba murmured again, with more force.

"I'm stirring the sauce," Jun replied. Sometimes, when he answered, the other man would fall silent quicker. It didn't seem to be having the usual effect, but the mumble that followed was too low to be comprehensible.

Jun nestled deeper into the pillow linen, pulling the flat padding in closer, and was just about to finally fall back into dreams when there was a noise from outside.

He bolted upright, nearly smacking Aiba's jaw in the process. It wasn't just that it was a sound from beyond the gym walls- that too, though, was something he hadn't heard in days. It was the fact that it was a scream; a warbling, garbled scream so high-pitched that it sent shivers down Jun's arms, making all his hair stand on end. It was terrible. It was almost inhuman.

Chest heaving, he stared past the last bed in the row to the wall, where two double doors had been barred shut since they arrived. The doors led to the outside- didn't they?

Another shriek- this one was closer. At least it sounded closer, but it was so animalistic and hoarse Jun honestly couldn't tell. His blood was cold, so cold it nearly stung. Suddenly, the stifling closeness of the sleeping quarters didn't feel like nearly enough. Beside him, Aiba stirred, and Sho's head snapped up. There was a long period of quiet, when no one moved, and Jun wasn't even sure he was still breathing-

-but there was only quiet. Nothing followed; no more blood-curdling screams came from outside the dead-bolted and barred doors.

"What was that?" Aiba whispered. He shrunk inwards, as if he was trying to flatten himself to the cot.

Across Aiba's form, Sho pushed himself up with both hands. "That came from outside, didn't it?"

"Had to be an animal," Aiba said. Around them, there was a rustle of motion- others had heard, then, too. But no one got up, and no one really said anything, and Jun's throat refused to open again to let air pass through. He wanted to pull the blankets over his head like he had when he was five and he had been certain there was a monster living in his closet, between his shoes and boxes of action figures.

His legs moved without volition to get him up and out of the bed. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to go back, to get back under the relative safety of the sheets, but his mind was one step ahead and working overtime. He took a few steps towards the blocked doorway, and then paused. He half-expected something to jump out from the shadows, like a B-grade horror movie. Behind him, he heard the little 'pat' of Sho's bare soles against the floor, following him.

He stopped a few feet from the doors, as if his body was unwilling to move closer.

"Where does this lead?" he whispered, heart pounding.

"Outside," came the shaky answer from Sho. "Outside- the sidewalk that goes towards the Union, that loops around the maintenance building."

Jun's stomach was roiling angrily, close to rejecting the slightly stale onigiri they'd been given for dinner. "What the shit was that?"

There was a touch on his elbow, a light brushing of fingers- his nerves were so tightly strung that he jumped and nearly swore, but it was just Aiba, wide-eyed and hunched.

"That was an animal, right?" Aiba said, forcefully, though Jun wasn't sure if he was trying to convince them or himself. "Just an animal."

"What kind of animal makes a noise like that?" he asked. He didn't really want to know the answer- it seemed that the other two didn't, either, judging the silence that spread. There was nothing else from beyond the doors. In the beds, there was some shuffling- down the row, Jun thought he could hear a whispered, fervent prayer. No one else got up and out of the cots.

Sho tooka step back, like his common sense was finally catching up with the adrenaline. "Just kids," he said, shakily. "Just some stupid kids."

Jun didn't mention that there shouldn't be any kids outside, with everyone being shuffled into the safety centers. He didn't voice that it hadn't sounded much like a kid at all- more like a howl, a cross between a person and- something else. He didn't say anything because the air was so thick he was nearly choking on it.

There was a sudden round light illuminating part of the doors they were standing in front of. A flashlight- there were footsteps behind them, clipped and quick. "You! Get back in your beds, now!"

"But-" Aiba started, and the security guards, with a trailing orderly, stopped next to them. One grabbed Jun's arm, shoving him back towards his empty cot.

"Curfew is still in effect," the taller guard snapped. "It has not been revoked. Now get back in bed and be quiet."

The fingers closed around Jun's arm were painfully tight, and he took a few steps backwards just trying to squirm out of the grasp. The guards looked anxious- more nervous than angry from the curfew violations. Jun was shoved again, and finally turned to move back towards the three cots shoved up next to each other. The sheets were cold when he slipped back in them, and it was not a welcome sensation.

While Sho and Aiba followed suit, Jun tried to make out the whispers around him- he couldn't tell if they were coming from the other cot occupants or the guards. He couldn't make out much of anything because his heartbeat was still pounding in his ears, creating a layer of static overlaying everything.

"Guys?" came Aiba's whisper, when the bright beam of the flashlight finally disappeared around the corner, and the darkness settled in again.

"Something is going on," Jun answered, before he realized he was even speaking. "Something is going on they aren't telling us about."

There was a pause. Jun couldn't hear anything anymore from the other beds, but it was impossible for everyone to have simply gone back to sleep. Then Sho shifted loudly, cot bolts squeaking. "Just ignore it. Just- go back to sleep."

It was dismissive and snotty, but Jun's heart was still pounding too fast to be really offended by it. Besides, there was a bit of merit to the idea- they couldn't do anything with security guards watching their every move to keep them from breaking curfew.

Jun's arms tightened around the pillow, and he closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to sleep.

It took a long time before the dreams claimed him.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=59vqmf)

He was tired, but a good kind of tired. They’d opened up one of the weight training rooms so the gym full of twenty-something guys wouldn’t go insane with boredom. It was one of the first right things that had happened since they’d found themselves inside here.

Jun didn’t know the first thing about weight machines. But it didn’t matter. He’d found a quiet corner and a mat and had spent the better part of an hour stretching, doing ab crunches, anything that put his body to use. Sitting in bed and playing cards wasn’t doing him any good. He just kept thinking about the screams from two nights ago, the sound that chilled him to the bone and kept him from getting a full night’s rest even now.

He wiped down the mat with one of the stiff towels, wishing he’d had better clothes to exercise in. The locker room was quiet when he went in – curfew was in five minutes, but he wasn’t going to bed with the sweaty scrubs on. They had new pairs in here anyhow. He grabbed a fresh set of them where they were stacked haphazardly on a bench, found a towel and headed for the shower.

They’d finally poured some soap in the dispensers, realizing that a hundred plus guys were going to start stinking up the place before too long. It was hand soap, and he cringed as he ran it through his hair. When they got out of here, he’d get shampoo. And new gel. His shopping list was getting longer and longer.

Hot water was gone. Everyone had used it up over the course of the day, but he preferred waiting til nearly curfew. Nobody else was in here, seemingly lulled into submission once they turned down most of the lights in the building. Uni sleeping schedules were all but erased – no all nighters in here, not when there was no privacy and no more exams.

He switched the water off, shivering. The new scrubs felt scratchy against his clean skin, and he’d finally gotten disgusted enough with his boxers that he’d switched to the ones from the packs in the locker room. Nothing on his body now, aside from his necklace and his ring, belonged to him. All he had was in his backpack.

Pushing the curtain aside, he nearly collided with Sho. He hadn’t even heard the locker room door open. “Sorry,” he breathed, unable to move or think.

“Come with me.”

It was after curfew, and Sho was stalking him now? The hell was he doing in the locker room? “How long were you standing there?”

Sho was annoyed immediately. “I wasn’t peeping, alright? I just got here.”

“Sure.”

He was rewarded with a scowl, the one Sho usually had reserved for when he checked Jun’s essays. It felt like a lifetime ago. “Look, I knew you weren’t in the gym, and there’s no one else I can trust.”

Sho said trust, but to Jun’s ears, it sounded more like tolerate. He said nothing, vulnerable enough having just come out of the shower. He was suddenly very glad he’d put on his clothes before stepping out. Beads of water were dripping from his hairline and down his face and the back of his neck. He just wanted to get to bed.

“I think people are sneaking food after hours.”

He sighed. “It’s not me.”

“I know it’s not you,” Sho said immediately. “But we don’t know how long we’ll be in here. People can’t just be taking stuff that’s meant for everyone. I’m just saying that I need proof before I go reporting it to the staff.”

“And you need me why?”

He looked away. “Aiba’s…well, I don’t know him that well. And I don’t need to get caught sneaking around on my own.”

“So getting me in trouble with you makes it okay?”

“That’s not…” Sho rubbed his temples in frustration. “You know what, just forget it. I’m sorry I asked you.”

He watched Sho turn around and head back for the locker room door. They were stuck in here, and it was driving Jun insane. They’d been tiptoeing around each other for days, and they had enough to worry about on the outside. If people really were stealing food, it would be a problem fast. They didn’t need a riot in here. Tensions were rising as it was with day after day of nothing new. The same repeated radio broadcasts with only the date changing.

“Wait.”

Sho’s fingers were already around the door handle. He hurried to catch up, following him out into the dark hallway. The only lights were the emergency ones, the exit signs glowing red. They crept along quietly, hoping not to alert the staff Jun knew were roaming the halls. It had been their noise that had gotten them caught the other night. So long as they didn’t make much of a sound.

He stayed at Sho’s back, trying to focus on getting to the cardio room undetected. To his surprise, the room was unlocked when they got there. There was only an emergency light in here too, bouncing off the mirrors and bathing the room in a rather creepy hue.

“Okay,” Sho said, finally breaking the silence as they found their way to the equipment room in the back that was serving as food storage. All the fresh stuff had been eaten, and they were subsisting on instant rice and miso, bagged snacks and nuts, and bottled water. “We’ll do a count of what’s here. Keep track of how much they put out tomorrow. And then tomorrow night, we come back and do the count again. If there’s a significant drop…”

“How will we know what’s significant?”

“If there’s a big drop in the cookies, we’ll know there’s thieving going on. They’re trying to run a tight ship here.”

It would be easy to get in and out of here though, tight ship or not. Maybe nobody thought someone would stoop as low as to steal food. Who would risk the ire of all the other students to snag a box of crackers? Sho closed the storage room door and pulled the chain for the light bulb. Jun blinked a few times, adjusting to the change again after so many days in pretty dim rooms.

There were pallets with food stacked. Some were still sealed in plastic. They were even labeled “Emergency Relief” in big bold letters. Well, nobody would be stupid enough to cut them open. If anyone was stealing, they were taking from the ones that were open. It would be nearly impossible to know.

They started counting, digging through the bags and getting a rough count. They focused more on the snack items and water rather than the economy size jars of miso paste and bags of rice. Sho had brought a pen and was scribbling numbers down on his hand. It made sense to have him along, he realized. There was a lot of stuff to count.

He and Sho were just finishing up, putting things back the way they’d found them when they heard the cardio room door open. His heart stopped as he and Sho reached for the light bulb chain at the same time, turning it off quickly. Neither of them moved, and his hand was clasped around Sho’s, who’d made it to the chain first.

Their breathing was shallow in the dark, and he knew his hand was sweaty, but it didn’t matter because someone was checking the room. The seconds were agonizing as he heard footsteps in the cardio room.

“Why don’t you come downstairs and share with me?” It was a male’s voice, probably one of the security or Metro Police officers who stayed in charge.

Jun bit his lip, knowing if he let go of Sho’s hand the chain might move and hit the bulb. Or if he took one step backwards his body would hit the plastic wrap of one of the food bundles.

“They told us to stay upstairs. We’re not supposed to fraternize.” The voice was softer. Female. One of the nurses from the first day, or one of the few women he saw cleaning the washrooms. Sho had told them that all the women were staying upstairs above the weight training rooms. Couldn’t have been more than ten of them tops.

“Come on, nobody’s in here.”

Jun felt Sho’s grip tighten, his hand shifting slightly under his.

“I don’t like all the mirrors. It’s creepy.”

It was quiet for a few moments, and it didn’t take much imagination to wonder what was going on. Of all the times to sneak off…

The woman made a noise of protest, and Jun heard clothing rustle. “That’s enough. They’ll be missing me upstairs.”

“Tomorrow night?”

Jun prayed for her to reject this guy. Most of the folks in charge seemed to be assholes, getting off on having their moment to shine, keeping all the lowly students in order. He hoped she had better taste. Not to mention that they had to do another count the following night if they were going to put Sho’s worries to rest.

“Maybe.”

There was soft laughter and finally the cardio room door opened and closed. He heard Sho exhale first, and Jun pulled his hand back. “Sorry.”

They got the stuff back in the plastic quickly, and as far as he could tell, it didn’t look like anyone had been in the storage room. “Alright, let’s go. Meet back here before curfew tomorrow,” Sho said, taking charge without being asked. Some things never changed.

It took a few minutes to sneak back to the gym, avoiding the one guy who was slowly walking up and down the aisles. Aiba was fast asleep in the middle of the three cots, one arm flung out onto Jun’s bed and a leg the opposite way onto Sho’s. His hair was barely dry from his shower when his head hit the pillow.

\-----

"Ouch," Jun hissed, when Aiba stepped on his toes _again_.

"Sorry," Aiba whispered, distinctly louder than a whisper actually was. He waved his hand around in the air. "Sorry, sorry- just- hold on-"

There was a lot of rustling, and he produced a tiny piece of metal from his pocket. Jun peered at it, trying not to breathe too loudly- they were after curfew, and in a hallway they shouldn't be, and they were so incredibly dead if anyone found them. But Sho's laptop battery had sputtered its last a few hours ago, and other than Aiba's deck of playing cards, they were starting to run out of ways to entertain themselves. It seemed like so much longer than the week it had really been; time was blurring together, just like all the information they had.

Sho knelt down beside Aiba, getting too close and getting some of Aiba's hair in his mouth. "What is that?"

"Tiny screwdriver," Aiba said, proudly, as he stuck it in the handle of the locked door.

Jun glanced over his shoulder when he thought he heard someone approaching, but there was no one- just their shadows dark against the walls. His heart had taken up permanent residence in his throat, and he swore that any orderly approaching was going to find them just from hearing the furious pounding it was doing.

"This is a bad idea," he whispered, for the umpteenth time. "The internet is out anyway."

"The _wi-fi_ is out," Sho corrected. "The computers linked up directly to the router might still be working. They probably turned the wi-fi off to keep everyone from getting information."

Aiba bit his lip, looking like the very picture of concentration as he wriggled the miniature tool in the keyhole. "Yeah, we're not supposed to be here!"

"That's my point," Jun hissed.

"We have to try," Sho said. "There could be information out there that might shed some light on this whole situation."

Jun didn't want to admit the older man was right, so he didn't. "You're just mad because you can't play solitaire anymore," he said, with a frown. "Besides, Aiba is never going to get this-"

The lock on the door gave a little 'ping' and swung open, and Aiba stood, beaming. He put the screwdriver back into his pocket and patted it a little, just for show. Then he stepped back and gestured inside, letting the other two enter first. Jun just swallowed down the rest of his statement, since arguing against the stupid plan was moot when the door was standing open.

"Where is this, anyway?" Jun asked, on Sho's heels as they made their way into the darkened office space.

"Ticketing office," Sho said absently. In the blink of an eye he was on the computer and typing furiously at the keyboard, opening up windows and browsers with rapid-fire clicks. He nodded his head in the direction of the far wall, hidden entirely by the inky shadows. "It's where people come to get passes to the athletic events. I think it's largely just for administrative purposes."

It explained the computer, and the large number of trophies displayed above the desk like prized heirlooms behind bullet-proof glass.

"Dammit," Sho swore, double-clicking the mouse.

"What?" Jun asked.

Sho sighed, and his shoulders slumped forward a bit. "Internet really is down. I can't connect to anything."

Jun bit back his 'I told you so', but only because he still felt like he was walking on eggshells, and the soles of his feet were already sore. Aiba leaned in over Sho's shoulder, frowning at the screen. He pointed, and then made a contemplative noise, and then pointed again. In the end, he didn't end up saying anything. Jun pushed him aside and gestured towards the minimized window on the taskbar.

"How about the email?" he asked. "If the internet went down after they shoved us all in here, there might be something there."

Sho opened the window. Whoever usually sat at the desk had been busy- there were hundreds of emails about billing problems, and event locations, and Jun thought maybe the whole thing had been a bust until the top-most subject line flashed into view quickly as Sho scrolled.

"Wait," he demanded. "Go back up."

_All University employees- National Emergency_

Both Sho and Aiba sucked in audible lungfuls of air as Sho clicked to open the message. The contents popped up, black text glaring against the harsh whiteness of the background. Most of it was what they already knew- what the news announcement that kept getting replayed everyday over the speakers said. Possible infection, more information coming- after a week, the sentiment behind the message was severely diminished.

But there was a paragraph at the end that was new.

_To contact administration for further information, please direct all calls to the Japanese embassy in Seoul. When the Department of Security, in conjunction with United Nations officials, have declared the pandemic to have passed, administration will be returning to Tokyo._

"Oh my God," Sho whispered. It was an echo of the thoughts circulating through Jun's mind. "Oh my God, the government left Japan."

"What does that mean?" Aiba asked, sounding shaken.

"The government left," Sho repeated. He sounded like a broken record- a scratchy, warbling broken record that was suddenly very concerned. "It's so bad they got everyone out. It's not a pandemic- it's an epidemic. This is _bad_."

Jun grabbed for the mouse, roughly shoving Sho's fingers aside. His skin burned a bit at the touch, but he was too distraught to pay much attention to it. "Why didn't they tell us this? Why haven't they told us anything? What is going _on_?"

Sho took a deep breath, like he was composing himself, and-

-something slammed violently into the door at the back of the room, the door that led out to the grass and trees and brightly-colored flowers of campus. All three jumped, and Jun thought for a wild moment that the building was collapsing. He could taste the panic at the back of his throat, bitter and copper like blood. There was another thud, and then another- rapidly following each other. Hands. Someone was banging on the door from the outside.

It screamed. It sounded like the scream from the other night had, high and inhuman and hoarse, but even more so. Even more like the screech of a vampire victim in a scary black and white movie shown on the big screen with all the lights off, even less like a person- but still enough. Still enough to send another wave of chills down Jun's arms.

"Oh my God," Aiba whispered, sounding strangled. His fingers were digging so tightly into Jun's arm that Jun swore they were drawing blood.

There was a pause, and then another violent, loud thud- like whatever it was had thrown itself against the portal when it wouldn't open. Jun wanted to scream and he wanted to run and he wanted to curl up into a fetal position with his hands over his ears just to block out the noise, but his entire body had frozen, and he couldn't move. He couldn't even see the door in the shadows, but it was shaking so much that the picture frames were shaking against the wall.

Another shriek, sounding frustrated, if such an anguished wail could contain the emotion- the handle to the door started to rattle.

_It was trying to get inside._

"Go," Jun choked out, grabbing for Aiba and shoving him as hard as his trembling muscles would allow. "Go, go, go-"

Sho tripped over the desk leg in his haste to get back out the door and fell, and it didn't even stop him- he pulled himself on his hands and knees through the doorframe and then grappled for the handle to get it shut again once Jun was out. Jun's entire world was going red with terror, fingers tingling like they had fallen asleep, and he half ran into the wall trying to get around the corner too quickly.

The door to the office clicked shut, and the banging abruptly stopped, and all Jun could hear was three sets of ragged wheezing. He was having trouble sucking oxygen into his lungs. It felt a bit like the time he'd stayed under water too long during swimming lessons when he was younger, and had paddled back to the surface with black spots at the edge of his vision.

"Oh, God," Aiba whispered, over and over and over again. "Oh, God-"

Sho had gotten himself to his feet, palms splayed over the wall. Jun couldn't hear anything else from the darkened office, but he just wanted to get away- he wanted to get as far away from the door as possible, and he wanted to do it immediately.

"There's something out there," Sho gasped. "There's something out there."

Jun grabbed for Aiba again, hauling him to his feet as he was starting to collapse a bit. "Come on, come on, let's just go-"

"Jun," Sho said, with feeling, "there's _something out there_."

He didn't know how to answer it. He didn't even know if he was supposed to answer it. The contents from the email were burned into his brain, just like the un-earthly screams were; they were connected. They had to be connected, it was no coincidence. But thinking about it made his throat burn and his lungs stop working.

"Let's just go," he said again, and they stumbled down the corridor, leaning heavily on the walls. "Maybe we should tell-"

"No!" Sho exclaimed. "We can't tell! We weren't supposed to be in there, what would we say?"

He had a point, and Jun didn't like it.

"What is it?" Aiba asked, and his hand was clammy against Jun's own, a far cry from the proud lock-pick he'd been not so long ago at all. "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know," Jun answered honestly.

He didn't stop shaking, not even once they got back to their beds and under the covers, not even when Aiba's hand found his beneath the pillows. He didn't stop shaking, and he didn't sleep- he just laid there trembling in the blankets, trying to pretend that he was back in his dorm room, and nothing around him was real.


	3. Chapter 3

_“It is April 19th. Due to possible health threats within Japan, a national quarantine order has been issued…”_

The message from that morning repeated in his head. The calm, almost robot-like voice of the government announcer – it was a lie. All of it was a lie, wasn’t it? Who was sending out the broadcasts? Were they being sent from Seoul? Or was it worse than Jun wanted to imagine – were they simply recorded in advance and left behind? To lull the abandoned into believing the lie?

“We’re down twenty boxes. Jun?”

He cleared his throat, settling the packets of potato chips and rice cakes back into the bag he was working with. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.”

Sho was writing the numbers down on his hand, dark ink smearing against his skin. They’d kept coming to the cardio room. Sure, they’d missed a night, but the results were the same. Food was disappearing. Unless the staff was pocketing it for themselves, it was going to be a problem.

“At least nobody’s taking the rice,” Sho noted. “Can’t exactly be sneaky with the rice cooker.” Sho was good with numbers, far better than Jun was, and at the rate things were being regularly portioned out and the rate that the tastier snacks were disappearing, they’d be down to rice and miso alone by the first week of May. Not that Jun wanted to be trapped for another few weeks.

But what was the alternative? The outside? They’d kept their speculation quiet. Aiba would look ready to ask, to guess just what was leading people to scream and bang on the doors. Whatever it was, it had sent the higher ups abroad and left everyone else to fend for themselves.

Jun got everything in the bag back in order, and a question of his own burned in his brain. Two days at the tip of his tongue, but he hadn’t dared to ask. Aiba was always there. Someone might overhear. And he simply hadn’t had the guts to ask when they’d done the count the night before. But it almost felt cruel and insensitive not to wonder. Despite what had happened, they had been friends, hadn’t they?

“Senpai.”

Sho was eyeing the dwindling boxes of Pocky with a frown. “Yeah?”

“Your father.” He didn’t dare look Sho in the face. “He’s a government official, isn’t he?”

But Sho said nothing, writing a few more numbers down on his hand. Jun didn’t remember exactly – it was just something the other man had mentioned one day, ages ago. Jun didn’t even recall it until seeing the email. If the government was in Seoul, would Sho’s father have gone? Would their whole family have evacuated – but left their older son behind?

They finished the count, only speaking to toss numbers back and forth. A wave of guilt washed over him. He shouldn’t have asked after all. They were all worried enough about what was out there, about their other friends. Jun didn’t like the thought of his family being out there in this either.

Sho gave the storage room a final once over before reaching for the light chain. “He’s not high enough. They probably evacuated the Prime Minister, Cabinet. Probably the Emperor and his family. But not my dad.”

The light went off, and he heard Sho open the door, letting in the glow from the other room’s emergency light. He followed Sho out, closing the storage room as quietly as he could. Getting an answer from Sho had surprised him, so much that he said nothing as they snuck back to their beds.

Aiba was curled up as usual, and Jun felt a bit guilty about not including him. He’d proven himself to be trustworthy and actually rather handy, if his lockpicking skills were anything to go by. But Aiba had enough to worry about – his family, the pounding and screaming, and the truth about the government. Bringing him in on the food would just burden him more.

He laid down, almost instinctively moving to the side closer to Aiba. His iPod was dead, just a useless piece of junk in his backpack, and all he could do was listen to Aiba’s gentle snoring beside him. He felt a finger flick against his forehead. It was Sho.

“What?”

They whispered, knowing Aiba was a deep enough sleeper. “The food. What should we do?”

Jun sighed. “This is your pet project. You’re in a better position to tattle.”

“That’s just it,” Sho said back, barely audible. “If it gets out, people are going to be pissed. We don’t need a riot.”

Sho’s motivation had changed, it seemed. He’d been gung ho about doing an accurate count, ensuring fairness for everyone. But the more they discovered about the outside, the more the situation grew more and more serious, the less they needed to start trouble on the inside.

“And when we run out of food?” he hissed. “What happens then? You’re saying we should just delay the inevitable?”

“No.”

Aiba stirred, hushing the both of them up. Jun held his breath as he just turned around, tugging his blanket to his chin.

Sho continued as soon as Aiba was settled. “We don’t need to be here when it gets that bad.”

Jun swallowed. Sho had heard the screams outside just the same and had been as scared, if not more. Was he actually suggesting they…leave the safety center?

Then again, they weren’t getting any answers in here. They ate, slept, listened to the misleading broadcasts. They were safe – but they were in the dark.

“Just think about it,” Sho whispered. He heard the springs creak on the older man’s cot as he turned over. Aiba mumbled something about Chinese food in his sleep as Jun looked at the gym windows, covered with the tarps. Keeping them blind and ignorant.

“I’ll think about it,” he mumbled.

\----

Jun's arms burned, and his grip was slipping.

"Hold it," he choked out, trying to re-position himself beneath the bulk of the weight sending spasms through his entire body. "I'm going to drop this."

"Please don't," came Aiba's concerned voice from the other side of the folded slabs of plastic- the small sticker on the side of the treadmill was a complete liar. There was no way one person could carry it alone; they were having enough trouble with two. The stairs weren't helping any, but there wasn't much they could do about the route they were supposed to take. "If this falls, my toes are squished!"

Jun tried to get one elbow propped against the wall to keep his fingers where they were, gripping the bottom of the machine tightly. "Just- okay, go, but keep it slow."

They started moving again, one foot in front of the other, until they reached the room at the bottom of the stairs- why a gymnasium didn't have a damn elevator, Jun would never know. Perhaps they had never figured the cardio room would need to be emptied to help increase space at meal times for hundreds of refugees from a bizarre disease raging outside.

Even though Jun knew it was true, it was still hard to digest.

"Here," Aiba said, and then there was a muffled 'ouch!' as his back thumped hard against the wall, signaling he had gone too far. "Okay, we can put it down here."

It was sweet relief when Jun was able to put the folded exercise machine on the ground, and he stumbled backwards, half-collapsing against a set of metal shelves. Behind them, there were shuffling footsteps, an 'oomph', and Sho appearing in the basement storage area carrying a box of free weights. When he set it down, the sheen on his forehead was easily visible.

"Remind me again," Jun sighed, "why you volunteered us for this?"

Sho looked annoyed, swatting at loose hairs curling around his ears and sticking to the sweat on his cheeks. "Because if we get closer to the people in charge, we might get new information. If we are trusted, we have an in."

"Moving exercise equipment to the basement is not getting closer," Jun snipped. "It's slave labor, and we are doing it willingly."

Aiba disappeared around the folded machines and shelves full of yoga mats and balance balls, and Jun could hear the clipped sounds of his footsteps echoing through the room.

"We can move that treadmill here," he called. There was a bang, and then a rattle. "Yeah, that one will fit over here!"

Jun glared at the equipment, kicking it lightly- as lightly as he could without damaging it. "I'm not picking this up again. My arms are going to fall off- I need a break."

Aiba replied with a vaguely affirmative noise that Jun assumed to be agreement. He sighed and leaned back further into the shelves. Something hard was poking into his back, but he was too tired to move and re-position himself. It was bad enough that he'd spent nights counting food packets only to have Sho decide not to say anything to the orderlies; now he was manual labor in hopes of getting close enough to get more information.

He didn't think they had information- or at least, if they did, they were definitely not planning on distributing it. If the government left Japan, there was no way they could curtail the riot themselves. And given what Jun knew about whatever was lying in wait outside the safety center bounds... no one was going to be getting details. They'd be kept in the dark for as long as possible, just to keep panic levels to a minimum.

It had started off bad, and it was only getting worse.

Aiba appeared suddenly around the shelves, gesturing furiously for them to follow him. "Come here, come here!"

"I'm not going to help you catch a mouse for a pet," Sho said, tiredly, but he did move over to round the corner the other man was motioning from, and Jun followed. Aiba led them through another set of shelving to the far wall where the jump ropes and step aerobic platforms were kept. There was a door nestled between pegs with hula hoops- a door with a hastily scribbled 'staff only' written in red Sharpie on a piece of paper stuck to it.

Aiba rattled the handle, but it was obviously locked. "Do you think we could get in?"

"Designating things as off-limits just makes you want to enter them more, doesn't it?" Jun said, eyebrows raised.

Aiba grinned and produced his miniature screwdriver again, but Sho reached in and stopped him from inserting the head into the keyhole.

"Wait," Sho breathed. "Last time-"

He didn't have to finish; last time they'd been somewhere they needed to use Aiba's lock-picking skills to get in, they had encountered something beyond the gym walls. Jun didn't think there were any doors in the basement of the gym that led outside- much less in small storage rooms off other storage areas- but Sho had a point. None of them needed more nightmare fodder, they had more than enough already.

Aiba looked at Jun, and then at Sho, and when Jun looked at Sho, he had to swallow back the lump that formed automatically in his throat. Then Sho gave a little nod of acceptance, and Jun slowly let out the air in his lungs, and Aiba turned back to the door. No one spoke as he wriggled the screwdriver around for a few minutes, before the lock acquiesed with a 'snap'.

If the air hadn't been so heavy around his shoulders, he really would have asked how Aiba got so good at that.

He expected something to jump out or be loitering in the shadows or something- anything. Instead, there was a just a quiet, darkened room Aiba flipped the light without much thought, and Jun's muscles tensed again, and then uncoiled when it became obvious there wasn't much inside. Just a bunch of wires in various stages of entanglement littering the ground, and a big switchboard on the far wall that connected to a few microphones and blinking red buttons.

Sho stepped inside, glancing around with his hands on his hips. "PA system."

"This must be where they are piping in that terrible elevator music," Aiba said. He lurched towards the controls. "Let's change it to something better, like pop!"

"Stop," Jun said, immediately, clicking his tongue. "They'll know we were here."

He was ready to leave since there didn't seem to be much of interest, but Sho was examining the dials and knobs with a great deal of concentration.

"Wait, wait," he said. "These are the radio controls."

"So?" Jun asked.

Sho leveled him a glance that easily conveyed how stupid he thought Jun was being. "So we might be able to get information from another radio station."

Jun hadn't thought of that. He glanced over his shoulder at the open door, and then back inside to Sho messing with buttons, and then back to the door. He reached for the handle and pulled it shut. They were better off inside, so that no one else could hear their voices- or the voices of anything they got over the waves.

"Be careful," Jun warned. "Don't change what's going to the speakers."

Sho made an annoyed face, but double-checked a set of green buttons that Jun assumed were the controls to the rest of the gymnasium. Then he took a deep breath, pushed a round gray button, and grabbed for the dial.

The sound of static filled the small area, and no one moved. Jun was afraid to breathe. He was terrified of what they might find- and what might not be there at all. He didn't know which one was more horrifying, so he wasn't sure what to hope for. He just clenched his fingers into fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palms.

After a few minutes of jogging through frequencies, Sho's shoulders slumped forward.

"Nothing," he mumbled, defeated. "There's nothing."

"How can there be nothing?" Aiba demanded. "All the radio stations couldn't have gone out, that doesn't make any sense!"

Jun shook his head, and Sho punched the dial one notch further. The static gave way to a voice heavily crackling with interference, but a voice- it was a person nonetheless. Aiba jumped a little bit in surprise, and Jun leaned forward as if it would help him hear better. Sho hunched in, adjusting a few knobs, until they could mostly make out the words coming over the line.

"--Nippon. This is O.S. and today’s date is April 22nd." There was a little 'ping' of notes that sounded like they could have been punched out on an actual xylophone positioned near the mic.

"We are the voice in the silence, the light in the dark. This is Tokyo Survivor Radio. Once again, this is your DJ, O.S."

Jun looked at Sho, whose eyes were wide. The date was right; it was the 22nd. But-

"Survivor radio?" Aiba whispered. Jun couldn't have answered if he wanted to- his heart was in his throat. The voice on the radio continued in the same oddly detached, monotonous tone.

"Today’s top headlines. Golden Week is soon approaching. I hope everyone is excited. April 29 is of course, Showa Day, so be sure to reflect on our great nation. The politicians aren’t here to do it for you. We here at Tokyo Survivor Radio look forward to Children’s Day on May 5. If you can still find some mochi, let us know."

It was surreal. It was too surreal to be happening- but there it was, on the radio all the same. DJ O.S. was speaking like the words coming out of his mouth were no big deal, but every one hit a chord in Jun's chest that resonated throughout his entire body. It sounded like the man was having a friendly conversation at the water cooler during a break, not revealing that everything outside the walls of Safety Center 9 had indeed fallen completely apart.

"To our friends, if any, still in Toshima. Ikebukuro has been overrun, notably the train station. If the bloody trail that goes all the way down to the Yamanote Line platform doesn’t alert you, the smell should. If you keep to yourself, maybe they’ll do the same. Stay out. Stay alive. Tokyo Survivor Radio has received word of a safe haven in Itabashi at Akatsuka Botanical Garden. Make of that what you will. Those were today’s top headlines."

Sho looked horrified and very pale, one hand inching up to cover his mouth.

There was another little 'ping' of music; the sound effects were far more frightening than anything else had been, superimposed against the backdrop of ruin.

"In weather, I don’t know what to tell you. Today was sunny and 18 C. It’s April, so expect more of the same. Maybe some rain. In sports, the Giants did not have a game today. But if they did, I’m sure they would have won. That’s the news for today. We’re broadcasting from none of your business in beautiful downtown Tokyo. This has been O.S. and you’ve been listening to Tokyo Survivor Radio."

There was static, and then the loop started again. "This is not Radio Nippon. This is O.S. and-"

Sho hit the button with the palm of his hand, sending the equipment into silence once more. For a very long time, the three sat in stunned silence without anything to say to break it.

"What..." Aiba started, and then stopped, like he couldn't bear to finish the thought.

"Survivors," Sho said. "Survivor radio, that's what he said. Why would there need to be a survivor radio station?"

Jun swallowed back the sting of bile. "You- you heard what he said, right? About the train station in Ikebukuro? About- about 'they'?"

"Everyone's dead, aren't they?" Aiba whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest. In the dim light of the control panel, his eyes looked watery.

"No," Jun said. "No- everyone can't be dead. This isn't possible."

But he knew it was a lie as soon as the words left his mouth. They'd all heard the screaming beyond the door, the government was gone- and there had been nothing, no information, no word since they'd first been put into the containment center.

"What is going on?" Sho asked aloud, to the silence and the static filling their ears. And Jun had no idea how any of them could possibly answer him.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=3xzfc)

He sipped from the bottle of water, knowing if he didn't do another few sets of sit-ups that he'd have to go back to the gym. He was sick of the gym. Tired of the flickering scoreboard, tired of hearing the voices of so many different people, and tired of the crumbs that were everywhere as he walked now.

Aiba was doing crunches on the mat next to him, but he was exhausted and only doing one every other minute or so at this point. It had been a few days since their trip down to the basement. The dull, detached voice of the guy broadcasting from Tokyo Survivor Radio. Was it a joke? It hadn't sounded like one.

Things were getting bad inside. For as much as the outside world sounded nightmarish, life in the center was devolving, slowly but surely. There'd been a fight the morning before. A guy had been sleeping and someone else was going through his backpack, trying to steal his wallet. Jun didn't know what currency mattered on the outside any more, given the way the broadcast had sounded, but the others weren't aware. Couldn't possibly be aware.

Petty squabbles were on the rise. Tempers were flaring, people wanted more to eat and more to do. They had so much time, but there was no internet. No phone service. They'd managed to find a television, but none of the channels were coming in. There was a DVD of the university's volleyball team matches in one of the coaches' offices, but everyone had grown weary of watching it.

Sho had taken charge, at least in their area of beds. He'd brought a few books of manga and was giving them away as prizes for trivia questions. He was mostly reading statistics out of his textbook, but the contests were keeping brains busy. Another guy had a guitar, and the people in charge had let him stage impromptu karaoke in one of the other empty offices.

But even that wasn't enough. The food shortage would be noticeable and soon. He'd had rice, miso, water and one cookie a day for the past two days - soon there'd be no cookies for anyone. He wasn't much for sweets, but others were starting to catch on. But the staff stayed tight-lipped, encouraging calm and to listen to the broadcasts and await further instructions. Did the staff even know how bad it was? How much had they been told before they'd gotten shut up in here with a bunch of impatient college kids?

Aiba took the bottle from Jun's hand and took a sip since they hadn't let them have two when it wasn't meal time. "You ready to go back?"

He shook his head. "No." It was quiet in here. The number of students interested in exercise had dwindled as the days passed in idleness. Maybe they'd just given up.

"Tell me something."

Aiba hadn't been overly inquisitive, since like Jun he'd probably spent a lot of time just being scared. He hadn't openly judged or insinuated anything. But Jun had a feeling this had been coming. It was hard to sleep beside someone every night, break into staff rooms with them and see them nearly every hour of the day without getting curious.

"You and Sho. You _did_ know each other before we came here, didn't you?"

He grabbed for the water bottle and took a generous sip. They'd all heard the broadcast. It was bad out there - how many friends did he still have? How many people left that he could trust and confide in? This wasn't really Aiba's business, and Jun thought he'd been past it himself. But close quarters changed everything. Aiba might have been a bit silly but he wasn't blind.

"Yeah."

"I don't mean to pry," he continued. He totally did mean to. It was probably a bit uncomfortable to sleep between two guys who had trouble looking one another in the eye. It wasn't really fair of him and Sho to put Aiba in the middle, intentionally or not.

Jun cleaned his glasses on his shirt, hoping the material wouldn't scrape his lenses. He didn't need the world to be blurry as well as dangerous. "I used to be an econ major. Just econ."

"Oh."

What blanks would Aiba fill in for himself? "I'm not the best student. I didn't even really want to go to university, but I didn't know what I really wanted to do."

"Sounds like most people who end up in liberal arts concentrations."

He rolled his eyes. Spoken like a true member of the science department. "So I started out as general studies. With all the other kids whose parents sent them here. And even if I hadn't wanted to really be in uni, I wasn't as unmotivated as they were. I couldn't stand it. So I enrolled in economics."

"So you met Sho then?"

Sure, there'd been department mixers. Drinking parties, both official and unofficial. Group dates with the girls in his micro lecture. "No, not then. He came in last year. He went to Keio for undergrad you know."

"I didn't." Aiba was impressed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling with his eyes nearly glazed over. "Wow."

He was telling stuff that was really Sho's to relate, but if Aiba didn't even know where Sho had attended school before, then it was obvious that Sho was keeping things close. "He was a first year grad student, and I was failing macroeconomic theory. He tutored me."

"No wonder you still call him Senpai."

"Yeah."

Aiba was still looking up, eyes distant. Jun didn't feel like volunteering much more. He didn't feel the need to talk about how many hours Sho had sat patiently (and more often impatiently) as he worked on papers, trying to explain complex theories. Or how many times their study sessions had ended up at the bar just so Jun could drink off a particularly difficult lecture and Sho could calm his irritation with him. And how that night after the final exam...

"But you're accounting now," Aiba noted.

Jun nodded. "I wasn't meant for econ. I don't want to get an advanced degree. It's a good minor though. And accounting's good money, more straightforward. More practical applications."

Was Aiba going to ask? So why don't you and Sho get along? Or would he draw his own conclusion? The guy's brain was wired differently from Jun's. He was a scientist - he made predictions, gauged reactions to determine results. What was his hypothesis?

"I'm going to head back," was all Aiba said, getting to his feet and picking up his mat.

Jun stayed there, eyes closed, reminiscing. About how at the end of last semester he'd woken up in bed alone, mortified. And how an hour later he'd gone to the registrar's office to abruptly switch majors.

He shook his head, bending his legs to start another set of sit-ups.

\------

Jun put a finger to his lips- it didn't do much in the darkness, with just the emergency exits lighting their way through the corridors. It was mostly for him, and not Aiba, who was creeping ahead of him on his tip-toes while peeking around corners like a spy, plastered up against the wall. Jun waited while the other man checked around, and then gestured for them to follow. The soles of their feet were tiny 'plips' against the linoleum tiles.

Everything was so tense in the gym, so tense they hadn't been able to get out again. Due to the fighting, the cots were watched by hawk-like orderlies and security guards who were just itching to bust someone out of bed after hours. It was beginning to feel far more like a prison than a safety center- and it hadn't felt very free to begin with. Aiba claimed the reason for the latest altercation was because the cookies had finally run out. There was so much more to it than that, but honestly, Jun thought he might be at least partially correct; everything was running out- food, patience, information.

They needed more. They had to get more- they had to find out what was really going on.

They followed Aiba's slowly creeping form down to the storage area and around the folded machines they'd stacked against the walls. It took Aiba a few minutes to get the lock open again, but the room was dark when they entered. Dark and silent, with just the constant hum of machinery against the nothingness.

Sho immediately moved to the dials, switching several on. "Do you think we missed a lot?"

"I don't know," Jun admitted, settling himself down on the floor. Aiba sat down next to him, all arms and legs and angles- his knee hit Jun's thigh hard enough to bruise, but Jun bit back the exclamation and didn't shove the other man away. It was comforting to be able to feel his body heat, as bizarre as the entire situation was. He knew the broadcast- should they pick it up- wasn't going to make him feel fuzzy and comforted inside.

"I hope he's okay," Aiba said, suddenly.

Jun blinked. "Who?"

"The DJ," Aiba said. "O.S. He's out there, right? And- I just hope he's okay, you know?"

Jun hadn't thought of that. He wondered if the DJ was on the run. He wondered if he even needed to be, considering he still didn't know what was lying in wait outside the safety center confines. He really wasn't sure that he wanted to know at all, but somehow not knowing was worse. Not knowing created hundreds of possibilities in his mind, each worse than the last, speculation running rampant.

"Hey," Sho said, suddenly, by the controls. "I got it."

The static streaming through the air was punctuated by more dinging bells- the damn xylophone, or whatever was being played next to the mic. Whoever was running the radio show had a real sadistic streak. It felt inappropriate and out of place to hear happy 'dings' between information about how terrible the city was.

"This is still not Radio Nippon. This is O.S. and today’s date is April 28th." There was a sound effect. "We are the voice in the silence, the light in the dark. This is Tokyo Survivor Radio. Good evening, this is your DJ, O.S."

Beside Jun, Aiba gave a little trill of relief. Sho let his hand fall off the dial and sat down across from the two, one leg underneath his form. He stared at dust gathered in the corner of the room, expression neutral.

"Today’s top headlines.Spring has sprung, hasn’t it? If it’s not a debilitating disease that leaves you with the need to attack your fellow man, it’s allergies."

"What?" Aiba whispered.

Jun's throat had gone dry. "Disease- it makes sense, doesn't it? It was a health threat."

"Yes, hay fever and pollen and all that have descended upon our fair nation. Pharmacies were the first casualties in the beginning days, so please continue to endure with a smile. But remember – if that fever’s more than a fever…if that anger’s more than normal, I’m sorry."

O.S.'s voice stopped, and there was the distinct sound of shuffling over the static. Then there came a second voice, sounding annoyed. "Keep reading!" Sho's eyes shot up a bit, and Jun caught his gaze for a moment- another voice. Another person. So there were at least two people out there manning 'Survivor Radio' somewhere in the heart of the city.

"The rumors of boats for survivors at the American naval base in Yokosuka are just that. Rumors. Be safe if you’re heading down that way. Kanagawa Prefecture’s got it pretty bad." There was another pause. "What?"

Jun couldn't make out what the second person said then, as it was murmurs that flew under the static and intermingled with the white noise. But hearing that it was even further south than simply Tokyo- it shook him, sending shivers up and down his arms. It was everywhere. It had spread to every inch of the country, and he was getting confirmation on it in the basement of a university gymnasium.

"Oh. And we’re getting word that the U.N. blockade extends all the way to Fukuoka. Possibly even farther. Those thinking that south is the way to go will probably be disappointed. Why is there so much Kanji in this?"

"You seriously can’t read that?" the second voice asked.

"No," came O.S.'s response. There was the sound of paper shuffling, like it had gotten too close to the microphone. It was an oddly shrill noise. There was an exasperated sounding sigh from behind the crinkling.

"Just skip to the next one, Jesus fucking Christ."

"Starting next week," O.S. continued without much feeling- his voice was melodic, in a weird way. Comforting in its unflappable-ness, "Tokyo Survivor Radio hits the road. Minato, be on alert. Yours truly, O.S. and director N.K. will be looking for you. Strength in numbers. Here’s our itinerary. Don’t share with the neighbors if they’re losing the skin on their arms…if you know what I mean."

Aiba's eyes went wide. "Losing-?"

Sho's did, too, but Jun suspected it was for radically different reasons. Jun glanced behind him- on the desk, piled up near the PA controls, was a bunch of loose sheets of paper. If they were being given an itinerary, he was going to write it down. Survivor Radio, as it were, was the only link they had to the outside world- and the only information they were getting past whatever blockade the center's higher-ups had put everyone under.

He pulled down several sheets and found a ball-point pen, clicking the nib out.

"Week one is the Shiba area. Fly something blue from May 1 through May 6. We know for sure that we’ll be hanging out near Shimbashi at least. Best of luck to you."

Jun met Sho's gaze, but couldn't read anything in it. Aiba pulled his legs up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his knees like a child.

O.S. continued, calm. "Week two is the Takanawa area. Fly something blue from May 7 through May 12 and maybe we’ll find you. Shirokane, Shirokanedai, Takanawa, Mita. We’ll be on the lookout. Tokyo’s a big city, isn’t it?"

There might have been more grumbling from the second voice then- N.K., if the report was anything to go off of- but Jun could only hear the pen scratching against the paper as he scribbled down the dates. Something blue- they said to fly something blue. But all Jun had was the standard-issue clothing on his back, and that was all white. They'd long since taken his jeans.

"Those were today’s top headlines." There was another cascade of musical notes. "In weather, it rained a lot. My shoes are soaked. That’s the news for today. We’re broadcasting from everywhere and nowhere in beautiful downtown Tokyo. This has been O.S. and you’ve been listening to Tokyo Survivor Radio."

The broadcast paused for few moments, and then started to loop again, and Sho reached up to shut it off with one finger. For what felt like a lifetime, the three sat in silence on the floor of the office, staring at the PA system controls which continously piped comforting piano sonatas over the loudspeakers.

It was Aiba who spoke first. "We have to find them, don't we?"

"It could be a trap," Sho said. It sounded half-hearted. There was something coloring his tone- resignation, maybe?

"I don't think it is," Jun replied, and it was true. He couldn't explain why, but he knew. Whoever was running Survivor Radio wasn't part of whatever was waiting in the shadows; they did have information, however, and seemed willing to share it. It was more than they were going to get within the confines of the gym, in any case, even if they didn't wholly want what information was being offered to them.

Aiba's legs uncurled, and his toe his Jun's calf. "Maybe they are renegades who were part of the government!"

"Maybe," Jun answered. He didn't think so. "Maybe not."

Sho looked lost in thought, and Jun could almost see the cogs turning in the older man's head. Jun put the pen and paper back where they had been originally- save the sheet he used to jot down the dates in which O.S. and N.K. would be in their area. He stood, grabbing into the nearest piping to steady himself, just as there was a colossal bang somewhere beyond the walls, so powerful is shook the floor beneath his feet.

He nearly toppled over. Aiba had been halfway up to his feet, and he did fall- he nearly ended up sprawled over Sho and the chair that rolled across the floor with the vibrations. It shook everything, the piping, the controls- the elevator music skipped a couple of times and managed to work itself back out with a few popping noises, but Jun's breathing refused to do the same.

"What was that?" Aiba whispered.

Jun's fingers tightened subconsciously around the paper in his hand, crumbling it noisily. "An explosion. That was an explosion."

"We have to get back to the gym," Sho hissed. He roughly pushed the wheeled chair away. "They'll be doing a head count."

Aiba moved for the door, rambling even as his hand closed around the handle. "But what was that? What blew up? Oh god, what do you think it was?"

Truth be told, Jun couldn't even venture a guess- it could be anything. Something on University property, the subway tunnels, an office building- they wouldn't know. They couldn't know, not stuck where they were, and he was damn sure nobody in charge was going to be giving them any information.

His feet pounded against the floor as they ran back to the gym. They were too rattled to be quiet, too shaken to be worried; something was going on outside, and they were hopelessly in the dark. They got back to their cots as the voices of the others began to rise into a steady din. Everyone was confused- everyone was afraid. Jun had just pulled the blanket back over his legs when the first of the flashlight beams showed up, moving over the rows of cots.

"Do you think O.S. and N.K. are alright?" Aiba whispered, as the orderlies on the other side of the room bent their heads together, speaking quietly with the guards.

"We'll find out," Sho answered. "Something blue, remember?"

Jun just stared at the flashlights making patterns across the floor, and didn't answer.


	4. Chapter 4

It was half past three on Sho’s wristwatch when they were finally able to sneak away.

Since the explosion, security had increased. Not that there were really enough staff to keep track of people, but meals were watched closely, curfew was strictly enforced and all the exits were manned around the clock. But that left the basement doors unguarded, at least after curfew.

All three of them together was too risky. Sho and Aiba had gone the night before since they needed the lock picked and redone each time. Tonight would be his turn with Aiba. Sho moved to the middle bed, moving his backpack and the other pillows around to make it look like there were enough bodies there if a flashlight passed really quickly.

Aiba headed off first, past snoring students. They went in socks because their bare feet tended to squeak on the gym floor. Jun followed as quietly as he could – he’d been awake long enough that his eyes had adjusted well enough. They made their way down the corridor in silence, Aiba leading the way with the little screwdriver clutched in his fist like a lifeline.

The basement hallway was deserted. Only the humming from the boiler room made any noise. Aiba knelt down in front of the radio room door, his usual blissful expression replaced with serious concentration. He’d only been Aiba’s acquaintance for a few weeks, but he’d never met anyone who wore his heart on his sleeve as openly.

If Jun was alone in his head, he could forget about things for a minute or two. But all it took was one glance at Aiba to change things around. The unashamed, open smile when someone told a joke, something rarer as the weeks went by. Or the way his eyes would darken and his fists would clench when people talked about the explosion from the other day. Aiba was an open book and a constant reminder that the world’s axis was off its tilt. He didn’t hate Aiba for it – Aiba kept Jun honest.

Aiba had the tip of his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he worked the screwdriver inside the lock. Jun kept watch, arms crossed and suspicious. There’d been nothing the night before, and he knew that O.S. and N.K. claimed to have taken their broadcasts on the road, but he had to know more. Flying something blue – he needed something large enough. And just where would he put something like that? His immediate thought was the roof, but how would he get up there?

The lock turned, and Aiba mumbled a relieved “I did it!” under his breath as he got up from his crouch. Jun followed him into the radio room and closed the door. The equipment was there, just as it had been left by the staff who’d put the radio on for the day.

There were still government announcements every day without fail – but they were meaningless weren’t they? No mention of the explosion that had probably rocked the whole city. Earthquake, the staff had told them. But Jun had experienced earthquakes before – even tiny ones shook the ground underneath you and sent you racing for the nearest door frame. No, this had been a different sound entirely. It had to have been a bomb. But what had been hit? And who had set it off? Their only answers would come from O.S. and N.K.

Jun switched over the radio controls to the room. Aiba tapped his stocking foot against a box of microphones, the friction of his foot against the cardboard making Jun want to tell him to stop. But there was no way he could. Every time they left their beds it was a risk. He couldn’t trust any other people in this place, so he’d let Aiba let out his nervous tension as he saw fit.

He turned the dial, desperately trying to find the signal. There was only static. Five minutes passed, then ten. When twenty minutes had gone by, Aiba grew even more antsy and started to pace the floor. They’d always picked up the Survivor Radio broadcast within minutes – there was no message, not today.

“I need to know what to do,” he mumbled to himself, willing the calm, almost sleepy voice of O.S. to come over the waves and make another flippant remark about the weather.

“We should probably get back, Jun.”

He fiddled with the dial more, staring the radio down, begging for some kind of broadcast. Anything was preferable to the pops and hiss of the static. “Damn it,” he said, punching the panel.

Aiba gasped as the sound of the buzzer on the scoreboard went off upstairs, a loud and disconcerting noise. Everyone had to have woken up. “Jun!”

“Fuck!” he cried, switching the dials back. Letting his anger get the best of him. Sho was going to be so pissed with him. He hurried into the hallway, eager to just take off running, but Aiba had to get the door back the way they’d found it. The lock clicked, and they were running.

There was no time to get back to their beds, and he pulled Aiba into the locker room as soon as they made it up the stairs. He raced for the first shower stall, and Aiba caught on quickly enough and headed for one a few down. They’d be checking everywhere, up and down the aisles. All Jun could think about as he tore off the scrubs was Sho, who’d have a lot of explaining to do.

The shower spray was ice cold, and Aiba let out a yelp as soon as he got his on. Late night showers were breaking curfew, sure, but their desire for cleanliness was a better excuse than being in the basement in a staff only room. The door opened and one of the thugs in charge came calling.

“Hey! Supposed to be in bed!”

“Sorry!” Jun shouted, turning off the freezing water as Aiba did the same. His teeth were nearly chattering as he put the scrubs back on over his wet body. This was probably a bad idea, but he hadn’t had time to grab a towel.

Aiba came out of his stall, and he’d managed to find a towel to wrap around himself and one for his head. Jun realized that his new friend was something of a miracle worker. “Sorry!” Aiba said apologetically. “We’ll get right back to bed now.”

The guy eyed them suspiciously, but they were both wet, so who could say that they’d been anywhere else? Aiba went to change, and Jun waited patiently, bumping his forehead against one of the lockers.

“Aiba…”

“Don’t worry.” A towel came flying over the lockers to land on the ground next to him. He smiled, grabbing for a new shirt and bottoms from one of the piles and toweling off. He wouldn’t have to go to bed in wet clothes after all. “I’m sure Sho’s smart brain came up with a good excuse.”

The scoreboard was his fault. He was too overexcited, too nervous. Even Aiba hadn’t lost control like this. They headed back for the gym, and the guard guy was waiting just outside the locker room door and escorted them there. Sho was still in the middle under the covers, looking asleep as far as Jun could tell. Maybe he’d told whoever came by that they’d been in the shower anyhow – it was the best excuse.

The guy with the flashlight wasn’t going away, and Sho wasn’t moving. Jun swallowed down the lump in his throat, moving over to his cot while Aiba said nothing and headed for Sho’s on the opposite side. The guard waited until they were back under the covers before walking away.

He stayed at the far edge of the cot, facing away from Sho. Jun was almost asleep when he felt a finger poke in his spine.

“Scoreboard,” Sho whispered. “Way to go.”

There wasn’t anger but amusement, and he didn’t know which one was more unsettling coming from his senpai. Sho turned over, moving closer to Aiba. He exhaled the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding before pulling the pillow over his head to try and get some rest.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2sbslrp)

The scoreboard numbers seemed brighter than usual.

Jun stared up at them, one hand behind his head- he had long since given up on sleeping. His brain was too busy, too furious, too full of _what if's_ and _how come'_ s to slip into dreams. They hadn't been able to get O.S. and N.K.'s broadcast for days, but he had the paper in his bag with the dates scribbled on it- would they come? If they found something blue to put up, would Survivor Radio find them?

None of that was really important when compared to the biggest weight on Jun's shoulders: did they want to be found?

There was something to be said about the relative safety of the center, of the smelly, too-small gymnasium that was more damnation than salvation. No matter how many fights broke out within the showers, there were walls- there were bars and locks and sheets over the windows just like the blinds pulled over their eyes. Maybe they were better off not knowing what was out there. Maybe they were safer being kept from the truth, from reality; then again, maybe not. Their food stores were running out, and there was no word from the constantly repeating government messages- did they really have that much to lose?

Jun shifted and turned over, hugging the pillow tighter. Weeks ago, the only decision he had to agonize about was whether or not purchasing a breakfast meal plan would be worth the money. He would rather be concerned over his ability to wake in the morning and get to the dining center than worrying about whether or not the still-unknown threat outside was easier to handle than the slow starvation that awaited them in the gym.

How badly he wished he didn't have to make the decision- but it was his to make. They all had to make it for themselves.

And Jun- he wanted out. Things were deteriorating inside, and they had no information. They stood a better chance of finding out what was happening around them beyond the confines of Safety Center 9, and if he had to do it himself, then so be it. Existing alone wasn't the worst thing in the world. Jun was used to being alone- used to waking up alone.

Next to him, Aiba shifted, and the blankets tangled in his lanky limbs. The sheet fell off of Jun's foot, exposing his toes to the cold air of the gym.

"It's three," Sho whispered. Jun breathed deeply, cheek against the itchy linen pillowcase. Sho didn't say anything else- there really didn't seem to be much else necessary. They all knew, in the tightness and heaviness in their stomachs.

But for a very long time, none of them moved.

"We could put an exercise ball on a stick," Aiba said, after a long silence that stretched between them like sticky cobwebs.

Sho sighed. "Or use a yoga mat?"

There was a bubble of laughter that lodged itself in Jun's throat- he shouldn't have worried. Without any goading from him, Sho and Aiba had arrived at the same conclusion.

"One by one," he said, under his breath. "Meet down at the door to the PA system."

Aiba went first. They couldn't leave one person behind, not then. It was a group decision, and a group execution. They had to risk all three being found out of their beds, but Jun still grabbed for his bag as silently as possible to shove into the empty space where Aiba had just been lying. It wasn't much, but it was all they could do.

If everything went according to plan, they wouldn't be in Safety Center 9 that much longer anyway.

Sho was second. Jun could only see him for a few feet as he moved away from the cots, pressing himself up against the un-extended bleachers that stacked over one another in criss-crossing bands of metal. And then Jun waited, counting silently to twenty, until his heart beat slowed again and he heard nothing from the hallway both had disappeared down.

Five minutes later, he joined them by the locked door and the hastily scrawled 'staff only' sign.

"It has to be something that won't blow away," Sho said, without preamble, as soon as Jun arrived. "Something that won't fall down."

"Could we even get a mat upright like that?" Aiba asked. Jun turned his attention to the mats on the shelves, wedged between jump ropes and step aerobic platforms. Mats would be heavy- and what would they prop it up on? He chewed on his bottom lip, rolling it between his teeth.

There was a heavy silence, and Jun could hear Aiba's fingers sliding over the bumpy surface of the exercise balls.

"Maybe it doesn't have to hang?" Jun said. "Maybe- maybe it's just enough to be visible? And blue?"

Sho shrugged, crossing his arms. "Still, no matter what we use, we have to get it somewhere where they can see it."

"The roof," Jun and Aiba said at the same time, in tandem. They shared a glance, and Aiba smiled a little.

"How do we get to the roof?" Sho asked. He sounded annoyed, but Jun knew it was just nerves-nerves and tension and the dread of possibly knowing after so long of not, of frustration and the never-ending sensation that they were going stir-crazy.

Aiba made a 'aha!' noise in the back of his throat. "Distraction?"

"Fake something?" Jun suggested. When both turned to look at him, he put his hands out, palms facing up towards the ceiling. "Asthma attack? Panic attack?"

"Could probably really have a panic attack," Sho muttered.

Aiba pulled out one of the yoga mats, and it unfolded, hitting the ground with a muffled thud. Jun stared down at it- was it blue enough? It was more navy than cerulean, but perhaps it would still function as they needed it to. Was it enough, was it large enough to be visible?

"It'll take two of us for a distraction," Aiba said, slowly. "One has to get to the roof while everything is going on."

There was another uncomfortable silence, and then Sho extended his hand, fingers tightly fisted. "Janken?"

Jun nodded, and held out his own hand, and Aiba did the same. They mumbled through the routine. Aiba took rock- Sho and Jun took paper. Aiba let his hand fall back down to his side as Jun turned to face Sho square-on. His heart was in his throat as his hand shot out- rock. Sho had scissors.

Jun sighed, the noise whistling through his teeth a bit. "Okay."

"What do we put up?" Sho asked.

Jun was inclined to go with the yoga mat, but something caught his eye on one of the shelves, a box with a bit of color coming out the top. He reached over, pulling it free in a shower of dust particles that made his nose itch. It was a box of mesh jerseys, the kind you throw on over a shirt while playing a game that required two different colored teams. The top was all varying shades of red, but underneath there were blue ones- bright blue, really bright, the blue you couldn't miss even against the hue of the sky.

"Yeah," Aiba breathed. He grabbed for the first one, pull it out and taking several more with it. "Yeah, guys, these will work. Tie them together."

They worked for several minutes in companionable silence, fingers furiously flying over the webbed material.

"Hang it on anything," Sho instructed, reverting back to take-charge mode. Threads connected, Jun balled the makeshift flag up into a roll he could slip under his arm. "An exhaust pipe, the ladder- anything. Make it obvious."

He made an affirmative noise, too anxious to be irritated. "What will you do?"

"Freak out," Sho answered.

"The showers?" Aiba offered. "It would be further away from the stairs Jun needs to get up."

Jun's heart was hammering wildly, and had somehow made its way to his throat. He tried swallowing it down again, but only half-succeeded.

"When you hear everyone move, go," Sho said.

"Yeah," Jun agreed.

He found a nook just beyond the storage room, safely out of sight in the darkness of the shadows. His hands were trembling as he watched the other two steal away towards the locker room. There were guards nearby, but they weren't really moving- the flashlight circles on the ground were stationing, wavering only slightly near the toes of their boots. They spoke in low, bored tones that Jun could faintly overhear.

Down the hall, he couldn't see Sho and Aiba anymore- were they in position? Were they ready? He sucked in a breath and held it without knowing what he was really doing.

Sho's scream scared him, and he jumped, pressing a hand against the wall while mentally cursing himself for not expecting it. It scared the guards near him, too- he could see the flashlight swing wildly, and then aim down the hall towards the doors to the showers. There were shouts, and then hard footsteps that sounded as if someone was stomping angrily against the tiles.

"Help!" Aiba hollered. "Someone help my friend!"

It would have been wildly hilarious had Jun not been pressed into a corner praying with everything he had for the guards to both leave the area. They did- two steps of hurried footsteps started down the hall, leaving the end open.

"Who's there?" one of them shouted, even as they were moving and the concentrated beam of light was shaking with the alternating steps.

"My friend, my friend, he just started freaking out-" Aiba was saying, sounding panicked and convincing- Jun would have believed him, at least. And then the stairway was open, and Jun ran for it. He could only keep his footsteps so light, hoping that Sho's continued screaming would cover it up, and he all but threw open the door leading to the stubby rooftop.

It was dark- terrifyingly so. There wasn't a trace of the moon in the sky. Jun had lost so much time within the center that he didn't know what phase it was in anymore. He hadn't even been sure of what the weather was like, but it was cool, just a bit, just enough. Enough to send a prickle of goose bumps down his arms when the air hit the exposed skin.

He pulled out the hastily tied together jerseys, looking wildly for something to hang them on. He wasn't sure how much time a faked panic attack would really buy him- how long would Sho's ragged wheezing keep the guards from their post?

He found a thin metal rod that extended up from the roof and looked sturdy. When he grabbed it, it didn't move much. It was good enough, and it was a few feet from an exhaust pipe. He could string the jerseys between the two, to make sure they were always visible. He looped the armholes of one side around the pole and tied them, knotting them twice- better safe than sorry. Then he jumped across to the pipe and managed to get the opposite side's straps around the girth of it.

A make-shift banner. It would do- it had to do. It had to be enough.

It wasn't until the jerseys were hung that Jun allowed himself to look beyond the roof of the gymnasium. He wasn't sure what he was expecting- chaos, maybe. Thundering groups of people clamoring around each other or people running through the streets. There was none of it- there was nothing. The entirety of the city he could see beyond the gym was silent as the grave. The neon lights of downtown were still visible, but there was no activity- no sound, no cars, no nothing. Dead.

It shook him. Tokyo was never silent, never activity-less. There wasn't a single person on any of the streets he could see, not a single car driving through the roads. He was so rattled he could hardly remember to breathe, and when he finally sucked in lungfuls of oxygen, it burned.

Campus, behind him, was equally quiet. Jun spun in a circle, heartbeat increasing painfully- there was nothing. There was no one. But as his eyes adjusted to the dark he could start to see something on the side of the building closest to them, the maintenance shed. Peering in, he leaned over the side of the railing with fingers wrapped tightly around the concrete side, heart in his throat.

A dark splash against the brick. Dark, dark- red. The barest hint of crimson in the darkness.

Blood. A splatter of blood against the building next to the gym. And just when he thought he would never be able to breathe again, never get his limbs working again, something moved in the shadows below. There was a shift, just enough that he could see something brushing by the shrubbery lining the sidewalk.

Jun threw himself away from the side with so much force and panic that he tripped over his feet and stumbled to the ground in a heap of shaking limbs. A strangled noise wrenched itself from his lips that he didn't even realize he was making- too much noise. It alerted whatever was down below him, whatever was in the bushes beyond the gym walls. There was a hoarse cry from the sidewalk that made Jun's blood run cold, and the distinct sound of nails scraping against brick.

Blind terror gripped his system, making his blood run cold.

He was moving before he registered it, scrambling back up to his feet and over to the door leading back down into the safety of the building. He no longer cared if he was making noise- all he could hear was the awful cries from the thing in the darkness and the shrillness of nails breaking against mortar. He threw open the door to the stairwell and nearly fell down the steps in his haste. Red, red everywhere, at the edges of his vision, bile choking him.

Jun didn't know how he got back to the cots in the gym- he was propelled by instinct, understanding nothing. His head was pounding. He fell onto his cot with a muffled whimper, and immediately the other two bodies on the mattresses moved.

"What the hell?" Sho hissed. "Could you be any louder? We didn't do all that just so you could get caught!"

"Wait," Aiba whispered, and his hands were on Jun's arms. "Wait, Sho- something's wrong. Jun?"

Jun didn't answer- couldn't answer. He tried to curl himself up into a fetal position against the pillow but was shaking too badly to even move properly.

"Jun?" Aiba tried again. "Oh my God, Jun, what's wrong?"

"Everything," he whispered into his palms, as Aiba's arms went around his shoulders. The warmth of the embrace was comforting, but it couldn't cover the crushing realization of what they had done- what they were going to do. They were willingly trying to get out into it, out into what was a barren wasteland that used to be a city.

The other two seemed to understand- at least enough not to ask. It had to be hanging in the air around them like a pillow waiting to smother them completely.

"Maybe they won't come," Sho whispered, after several achingly long minutes. "Maybe they won't see it."

And Jun didn't know which was worse- knowing O.S. and N.K. might not come, or knowing they might show up.

\-----

He was walking past the bushes, and he had a grip on his book bag strap so tight that his knuckles were white. His shoes pounded the pavement. Test tomorrow, test tomorrow, he told himself. Have to make it back to the dorm. It was such a long way from the library. The light over the path started to flicker and suddenly there were fingers around his ankles.

“No!” he screamed. “Get away, get away from me!”

Bony, bloody fingers tightening and pulling. And there was laughter from the bushes, high pitched and ear splittingly loud. He kicked, desperately. He had a test tomorrow. They pulled him and he hit the pavement hard, scraping his hands. Then there were more hands, more rotting fingers crawling up his leg, tearing at the laces of his sneakers.

He screamed, but nobody was helping him. His hands clung desperately, trying to find a handhold on the sidewalk, but he was already in the grass. Clumps of dirt burrowed under his nails as the laughter behind him just got louder. Why wasn’t anyone helping him?

The last thing he saw was the street lamp flicker out.

“Jun, wake up.” He opened his eyes, and he was soaked in sweat. Sho had his hand on his shoulder, and he was close enough that Jun could feel his breath on his face. A nightmare. Another one. Three days, and he hadn’t gotten a full night’s rest yet.

He flopped onto his back and sighed, wiping his hand across his forehead and pushing tendrils of damp hair aside. “Was I shouting?”

“No. No, you were just…” Sho let his voice trail off, finally loosening his grip on Jun’s shoulder and scooting back to his bed. “Aiba’s in the bathroom,” was the explanation for why Sho had even bothered to come to his part of the pushed together cots.

He wanted to get up, wash his face, but they even needed permission to get out of bed and use the bathroom. Aiba had had to go to the guard first, and Jun didn’t feel like seeing their grumpy faces.

It had been so real. It was getting more and more real every night. He shivered despite being hot, still hearing the echoes of laughter as the nightmare started to fade away. “You okay?” Sho asked, voice laced with a surprising amount of concern.

“No,” he replied honestly. “I’m not. I just keep…”

But he was interrupted, and everyone in the gym was too as the fire alarm went off. The noise blared, high and screeching and beside him Sho covered his ears and cried out in surprise.

“Everyone stay in your beds!” they heard almost immediately. “Do not move!”

His nightmare was forgotten as the alarm kept sounding. There was no fire department coming to rescue them, and additionally, there was no getting out of the building to get away like in a regular drill. Had someone pulled the alarm as a prank? What was this?

“Aiba. He’s still in the bathroom!” he shouted.

Sho was still covering his ears. “What?”

He gave up trying to communicate, just pulling the pillow over his head to try and drown out the noise. It went on for a few painful minutes until finally, the alarm was off. One of the guards had managed to get it. “Doing a count!” they announced, and Jun’s ears were still aching from the alarm. “Stay where you are!”

Sho sat up, legs crossed and nervous, and Jun just stayed on his back. The guys in the row in front of them were whispering to each other.

“You think they really did it? I can’t believe they did it.”

“Tonight was the night,” his friend told him. “They were going to see if they could break into a pachinko parlor…”

Sho shuffled closer since Aiba still hadn’t gotten back. “People escaped?”

Jun gulped. No wonder the alarm had gone off – they’d probably gone out an emergency exit. His nightmare came flooding back, along with the memories of being on the roof – seeing someone creeping around outside. “Idiots.”

But weren’t they idiots too? Sure, they had no intention of breaking out just to go steal money, but they were waiting for O.S. and N.K. to arrive. A head count was started, and the guards started barking out names with only the scoreboard light to guide them. When Aiba’s name was called, Jun was happy to hear a noisy “I’m here!” from the other side of the gym. The guards had probably dragged him out of the bathroom for the count and hadn’t let him move yet.

In the end, there were two names, Nishikido and Yamashita, who hadn’t answered. Jun closed his eyes and wished them luck out there. They were going to need it. Aiba finally came back, worming his way into the middle of Jun and Sho. “I’m so glad I was just peeing,” Aiba admitting, offering more information than Jun required.

The guards called for everyone to calm down and get back to sleep, but that was impossible now. Aiba pulled the covers up to his chin. “So what happened?” Sho asked Aiba.

“Well, I was just overhearing. But two guys went out the door past the basketball coach’s office, the one with the emergency exit.” Jun was on edge, knowing his suspicions were confirmed. “The guard guys were super pissed – they didn’t know where the alarm was coming from.”

Jun blinked. Nobody had been watching that exit at all that night? With the alarm off, the gym was eerily quiet. There was no snoring, nobody talking in their sleep. Just a hushed calm, like the eye of a storm. The exodus of two of the other students had awakened something in everyone – that escape was possible.

_Ping._

There was a quiet rumbling, like metal shaking. It clanged, not at the volume of the alarm, but a noticeable rattle from right behind them. “What was that?”

The guys in the cots just to their left were already out of bed, walking over to the bleachers. Jun felt his blood run cold, and the same lightheaded panic was sending the hair on his arms up. If the two guys had gone out the emergency door and set off the alarm, but nobody had closed it because the guards hadn’t known what was happening…

Aiba grabbed his arm, seemingly reaching the same conclusion. “Jun, remind us what you saw when you were outside.”

His tongue was heavy in his mouth, fear creeping through him all the way to the bone. “There…they were quick, I didn’t get a good look.” He heard the cots creak again as Sho moved closer on Aiba’s other side.

The bleachers. Someone…no, he told himself. Some thing had gotten in. Had it already gotten to the guys who escaped? Had it been waiting, night after night, every night for a month? Lying in wait to get this opportunity? Aiba’s fingers knotted in the sleeve of Jun’s shirt, and he fumbled for his glasses.

There was a scraping against the inside of the bleachers, like nails across a chalkboard, and still the guys were laughing. Did they think it was a buddy playing a prank? “They should get away from there,” Jun mumbled, unable to shout to them. All he knew was the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. Run. They should run before it got worse.

Aiba was getting antsy. “Did someone come inside? Someone from out there? I didn’t see…”

One of the students was brave, walking right up and pressing his hand against the bleacher. “Hey Yamada, get out of there, man. We know it’s you!” He knocked on the wood, his fist pounding with a dull thud.

“We should get the guard,” Sho was whispering. All of O.S.’ calm messages were coming back. Raids on pharmacies, flesh falling off – and the guy was still knocking on the bleachers. Seconds passed, the guys laughed, giving the bleachers a little shake, sending the metal squeaking again.

Jun grabbed Aiba tight by the wrist when the student’s knocking was answered.

One thump. Then another.

And then came the howling laugh, making Jun’s eyes water and his mouth go dry. The other students backed away with awful, surprised cries, but it was too late. The cots split apart as Jun moved, and he and Aiba hit the gym floor hard. The other cots were scraping and screeching on the gym floor. It had only taken seconds for panic to reach their row of beds and the one in front of them. Then the next and the next.

“Move,” he gasped. “Masaki, move!” He tugged Aiba by his arm, and he heard Sho’s strangled shout behind them as they just bolted. Jun collided with other people, limbs and hands, as he moved in the opposite direction of the bleachers. It was in there. The safety center had been breached. It was in there, and it was laughing.

The panic was growing, and everyone was screaming, but there was no matching the volume of whatever was behind the bleachers. Aiba stepped on his foot, and Sho was keeping with them by holding onto Jun’s shirt as everyone formed a huge clump. He nearly fell over cots, backpacks, and empty plastic bottles again and again.

“Stay calm!” The guards were finally running over, elbowing through them to get to the bleachers. He tripped over someone’s jacket, feeling the metal teeth of a zipper slice open the sole of his foot. Jun buckled over, falling onto someone’s bed, and then Aiba’s hand was gone but Sho had fallen with him. There was weight on top of him, and the crowd was hitting the bed, shoving it along the floor, and all he could do was reach for Sho to hold on.

“Jun! Jun!” Aiba was screaming. There was still just the light from the scoreboard, and the darting beams of the guards’ flashlights.

Sho’s arm was around his waist. “I didn’t see it. I couldn’t see.” There was another rough push from the terrified students and the cot tumbled, tossing him and Sho onto the floor. “Stay with me,” the older man said, voice trembling. They stayed crouched against the wall, overturned cot serving as a wall between the two of them and the other students.

In the distance, back by the bleachers and their own cots, there was shouting from the guards, the wailing from whatever had come in. God, it was so noisy – it was like a death rattle. What was this infection? What had it done? No human sounded like that.

“Get it in the basement!”

The public address came on, and a harried voice came over. “Stop panicking! The situation is under control! Stay away from the bleachers and stop pushing!”

He could only feel the pain in his foot, cradling it in his hand as Sho kept a shaking arm around him. They couldn’t see anything where they were. The guards must have been dragging the infected person out of the gym, and the screams disappeared out into the hall. The voice on the P.A. came on again and again, and they were packed like sardines against the wall, spilling out into the hallway. It smelled like sweat and somewhere close by someone had obviously pissed themselves. “It’s over,” Sho was saying, although he didn’t sound so sure of it. “They got him. It’s okay, Jun, come on.”

The guards’ voices were less angry, almost numb as they started to get people to get back to bed. “Come on, it’s gone. Nothing to be afraid of, you’re safe now. Let’s get back to the beds.” The P.A. continued, urging calm and that there’d be a full explanation in the morning. He doubted it – they’d probably say that a rabid possum or raccoon had gotten in, causing an overreaction.

But raccoons didn’t knock back.

He had trouble getting weight on his foot, and Sho had to help him back. Aiba was visibly shaking, trying to get their cots set to rights, but his gaze kept stopping on the bleachers, just meters away.

There was no such thing as a safety center now. One infected person, whatever had gotten him that way, had been enough to send a room full of nearly a hundred guys screaming and panicking. They were like fish in a barrel now. It was only a matter of time before more of them came. He’d take his chances on the outside, Jun decided then and there.

Aiba saw them come up, saw him limping, and immediately took off running. Sho got him down onto the bed. He said nothing, knowing there wasn’t anything to say now. Whether O.S. and N.K. arrived or not, they couldn’t stay here. Their choices seemed to be attacks on the outside or attacks on the inside. Aiba managed to find a nurse, a trembling thing who barely cleaned Jun’s wound off before wrapping it in gauze and hurrying off for her own bed.

There was no shouting from downstairs, no more of the screeching howls. He didn’t know if it was dead or just biding its time. He hadn’t even seen it. It had been too dark. What mattered most was that it had gotten in at all. Sho gave him an aspirin and something else from the limited stash in his laptop case.

“Sleeping pill,” he mumbled, pulling up the blanket and almost absentmindedly brushing the hair away from Jun’s forehead. Aiba got on his other side, keeping him in the middle, and he fell into a troubled sleep, terrified of something worse lurking just outside the gym doors.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2w5oh6r)

He wasn't sleeping- not really, anyway. It had been awhile since he'd been able to sleep at all. Even huddled underneath the blankets of the cot with Aiba's comforting warmth at his back didn't help stave off the memories of the hysterical, inhuman laughter that had come from behind the bleachers.

So when everything stopped without even a click or pop or signifying noise in any fashion, he knew.

The scoreboard lights fizzled into nothing, and the music through the speakers abruptly stopped (he was almost glad about that, because they'd been leaving the 'soothing' elevator songs on at night in hopes of soothing ruffled nerves, and it was more grating during the dark hours than it was during the day). There was nothing; no sound of alarm, no screams, no laughter, just silence that rang louder than any shouts could have.

It was so quiet he could hear a pin drop, and he could feel in the change of tension that the others had noticed the absence as well. There were several long moments when nothing moved, no one said anything, and Jun just stared up into the darkness that was all-encompassing. He'd never realized how much light the scoreboard had actually provided; in the inky blackness, the gym seemed far more foreboding and ominous, and the lack of grating music was worse than the stupid songs had been.

The power was off.

And then the panic set in.

Suddenly, everyone was shouting, moving, cots scraping against the floor. There were some cries from the doorway and a few beams of light from flashlights, but they were wavering and unsteady- even the guards were panicked. Maybe they thought the emergency generators should have kicked on. Maybe the power was out to the whole city- perhaps there was simply no one left to man the hubs, and they had run out.

Aiba's hand found Jun's in the darkness, even as the three surged to their feet, grabbing for their belongings shoved under the cots.

"This is it," Sho said, shakily, from Jun's left. He could only barely hear the older man over the din of noise that had erupted. "It's failing."

There was a shuffle, and then a tiny bit of light as Sho powered on his cell phone and used it to illuminate what he could of their faces.

"We can't stay here," Jun said. People were running around him, making for the exits- or the roof, maybe. Anywhere they could find safety now that the gymnasium was useless. They were sitting ducks in the darkness. Electric-powered door locks wouldn't be much good without anything to jolt them closed.

Aiba bristled, fingers clenching tighter around Jun's. "Where do we go?"

"Out," Jun said. "Just- the dorms, maybe. Somewhere we can lock a door" 

"Wait," Sho hissed. The small, blue-glow from his phone threw his face in harsh relief.  "If we are going out there, we need to get food- something, at least."

He was right. Jun started moving without really thinking about it, feet finding the way even in the dark and the smidgen of light from the flip-phone. He'd made his way in the dark to the food stores too many nights to forget the simple path there from the main gym. There was so much panic, so much hysteria- after the break-in, everyone had been on edge, and everyone had started to realize what Jun already had. Something was very wrong, and now that wrong was able to get to them without much trouble.

The doors were opening and closing rapidly. There was shouting everywhere. The guards were trying to keep people in order, but half of them were panicking, too. The orderlies were yelling, and the nurses were crying, and there were simply too many bodies shoving through to be stopped.

They were heading left, towards the main doors- Jun took a right. Aiba's hands clenched around the back of his itchy shirt. Jun's foot hurt when it slapped against the floor, but there was too much adrenaline to really feel the pain until it gave out a bit. He slumped, hitting the wall with his shoulder and biting back a cry. He didn't want to alert anyone else to the idea of sustenance; there wasn't enough of it anyway.

Aiba grabbed his arms and tried to keep him upright, while Sho moved ahead to the door with his phone still open.

"Grab what you can," he was saying, as he opened the door. It took a moment for Jun to register, through the hazy cloud of pain, that there was light spilling out from the open portal that wasn't coming from Sho's cell phone. "Grab anything that you can carry-"

He dropped his phone as there was a muffled smack, and then Sho was halfway on the ground with both hands over his face, shouting in surprise and pain.

"Oh," came a voice from inside the room, sounding not very concerned at all that Sho was flailing around in the doorway. "That's more effective when skin comes off with it."

Jun's heart was in his throat- he recognized the voice.

"Ow!" Sho was exclaiming. "Ow, my nose!"

"Baby," the same someone scoffed. Jun moved forward, bracing himself on the side of the door and using Aiba's shoulder to keep his still smarting foot from the ground. There were two people inside with what looked like an electric lamp sitting on the table next to them- one of them was calmly packing up packages of freeze-dried food into a tackle box, and the other was shifting through the rest of the boxes as if he were looking for something in particular. There was a chain near the second one's right arm, a chain that connected to something hard and white.

Jun felt a sudden flash of anger that made his blood boil. "The power didn't go out- it was cut."

"I- a Wii controller?" Sho asked suddenly, still rubbing his nose, but there didn't seem to be any blood. "You hit me in the face with a Wii controller?"

"Seriously?" N.K.- and Jun knew with absolute certainty that's who it was, because it was impossible to miss the exasperated tone that colored everything he said- sighed. "You guys are already out of cookies?"

"Hey!" Jun said, angry, putting his injured foot down to shift his weight to the heel and kick with his other foot at the door. It was stupid and petty, but it got their attention. Both N.K. and O.S. looked up with raised eyebrows at him. "What are you doing? You can't just break in here and steal our food!"

O.S. made a pleased noise and held up a packet. "But you've got ramen."

"You said you would help us!" Sho cried. He looked to be rapidly approaching infuriated, hands clenched tightly at his sides, nose a bit red from where the chained Wii controller had made contact.

"We said we would _find you_ ," N.K. said, as he finished throwing packaged foodstuffs into his backpack. He zipped it up with deft fingers. "Finding you is very different from helping you."

"You started a riot!" Jun snapped. "Look what you've done here! And now everyone is out there, where the danger is!"

N.K. threw the straps of his bag over his shoulders, tugging once to make sure they were secure. "Not our problem."

Aiba stepped forward, looking angrier than Jun had ever seen him- it was odd to see the expression on Aiba's face, strange to see his features contorted in rage.

"You're just going to leave everyone to die-" Aiba started, with a finger outstretched and pointing accusingly, and N.K. slapped it aside as he picked up his Wii remote again.

"It's live or die!" N.K. hissed. "Which one do you want to do?"

There was a tense moment of silence, and Jun couldn't be sure what it was that he was feeling that was clogging up his throat. It was painful, hard to breathe. O.S. closed his tackle box with a resounding clang, and picked up the lantern.

"What's out there?" Sho asked, finally, and his shoulders slumped forward. The need for information was rapidly overpowering the anger at being taken advantage of.

N.K. leveled him with an unreadable expression. "People." His gaze flickered between the three of them, ending on Jun. "You really don't know?"

"They haven't told us anything," Jun admitted. His throat was very dry.

N.K. and O.S. exchanged a glance that seemed to speak volumes in a language Jun couldn't decipher. Before either could say anything- and Jun wasn't really sure they were going to- there were footsteps behind them in the hallway, footsteps moving towards the food stores. Aiba grabbed for a handful of packages and Sho whirled, grabbing his cell phone off the ground.

"Let's go," Sho ordered, hoarse. "We have to get to the dorms, it's not safe here."

"Dorms?" O.S. repeated. He seemed to perk up.

N.K. was still scowling. There was something very hard in his gaze. "They're all locked. You can get in?"

"To mine at least," Jun said. His keys were still in the bottom of his backpack. He only needed to get in his room- to get some real clothes, at least, to see what he could find that would be useful. It seemed like it could be a safe zone- right?

N.K. seemed to consider this for a very long moment, and then he stuck his hand out. "Nino."

"Jun," Jun responded in kind. He shook the offered hand gingerly. "We shouldn't let you come with us. You're vultures."

Nino raised an eyebrow.

"But," Jun continued, "tell us what is going on, and you can tag along."

It was risky. The newcomers could be loose cannons, unknown factors- Jun didn't know how they would play into the grand scheme of things. But there was little they could do without knowing for a fact what they were up against- and the bits and pieces they had managed to collect only made things more confusing and perplexing. It was impossible to fight against an enemy they didn't understand, and they had to stay alive- they had to try, at least.

With the chaos and panic and unknown going on around them, maybe Nino had been right. It seemed like it was live or die.

Jun had no intention of dying.

"Deal," Nino agreed, with a quirk of his lips. He glanced back over his shoulder at O.S. "Come on, Satoshi."

The two led the movement out the door, and Sho's hand gripped Jun's arm hard when he approached.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Sho hissed.

"No," Jun said. "But what else can we do?"

Sho didn't seem to have an answer for that, and neither did Aiba, who just shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot. The three stalled awkwardly for several long seconds.

"Come on, ladies!" Nino's voice called back to them from the corridor- the hallways had mostly emptied, fleeing bodies already lost into the night. It was unsettling to see the gymnasium so empty, so activity-less. "Let's get this moveable buffet underway."

Sho's fingers closed tighter, squeezing once and pinching Jun's skin, but they complied.


	5. Chapter 5

“What’s the cafeteria set-up?”

Nino, which couldn’t be his full name Jun imagined, was rapid fire with questions while O.S., Satoshi, whoever, was walking with purpose at the front of their group. It was dark – the lights along the campus paths were all out, although their newest companions claimed that they’d only cut the gym’s power.

It was strange, walking through the darkened campus at this hour. They could hear some of the other guys who’d left, mumbling to themselves as they wandered off while the five of them walked to the southern end of campus. “There’s a main entrance, offices, mailboxes and the cafeteria. And then four buildings. My dorm’s on the right, fourth floor.”

Aiba was still angry, and Sho was oddly quiet. It seemed that Jun would have to be their representative with their strange saviors. The campus grounds were overgrown with weeds. Flowers were wilted and dried up in their beds, and the occasional flier for a sporting event or club meeting drifted along the sidewalk in the breeze. The University of Central Tokyo, the one Jun had known, was gone.

They passed the student union, and Jun shivered. The doors had been torn off their hinges, and all the glass was smashed. A lecture hall where he’d had several classes was covered in graffiti, and Sho’s voice was shaking. “Japan is lost,” he read, and Jun’s eyes felt dry and itchy at the sight of the neon yellow spray paint on the brick building.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” Nino said, fingers flicking over the buttons of the Wii controller, almost as if he needed to be doing something with his hands or he’d go crazy. “Ohno and I will see what’s salvageable in your cafeteria. You guys go get changed. You look like shit.” Jun found that hard to believe, considering how filthy O.S. and N.K. were, but he said nothing. “If anyone’s in the building, we’re leaving. So hurry up.”

“So what if they leave,” Aiba mumbled, out of Nino’s earshot. “I don’t think I want to go around with them.”

“But we don’t know anything. They know where it’s safer to walk around. We’re as good as dead if we go out into this blind,” Jun tried to reassure him, but his words seemed to ring false.

Being out in the fresh air after being cooped up for so long felt good, but there was something else in the air. Jun had never been around corpses, but the lingering smell. It could be nothing else. If they went into the lecture halls, the library, the student union – just what would they find there?

It was just the way it had been that night he’d been on the roof, alone. There were lights in the distance, flickering in the high rise buildings. Were there people there? Or were the buildings just empty, hollow shells? And it was quiet. Aside from their group and the few others Jun knew were wandering around, it was so strange. He finally realized why. There were no airplanes in the sky. Maybe Japan was lost after all.

The dorm entrance was closed. The windows were spray painted in several places.

“Fuck everything.”

“The government has abandoned us.”

“Pray.”

Some of the windows on the dorm floors above were open, curtains flapping. Why hadn’t anyone broken in? Why some parts of campus and not others? Maybe it was serendipity. Maybe there was no one left around to break in.

He swiped his keycard, and the beeps were almost too noisy in the dark. “Use the stairs,” Nino mentioned calmly before he and his partner headed left towards the cafeteria.

“409,” he called after them, wondering if they’d go upstairs and meet them. His foot still hurt, but he had better sneakers in his room. Sho and Aiba stayed quiet, following him to the stairwell of his hall and up to the fourth floor. He wondered if they wanted to go back to their own buildings? Neither had expressed a desire to do so.

Where would they go? Home was in different directions for all of them. And what home was waiting for them when they got there? If his parents and his sister went to a safety center, he’d find an empty house. But if the house wasn’t empty, if it was spray painted the same as the buildings here on campus…

He wanted a shower, but there was no time. They passed the floor bathrooms, reaching the end of the hall. If Jin had come and gone, he hadn’t locked the door. He didn’t even need to take out his key. The cheap, student housing curtains were pushed roughly apart and the window was open, letting in the moonlight and the flickering from the parking lot just past the dorm complex. But there was still a pretty stale smell. Nobody had been in here in weeks.

Aiba entered, sitting down on Jin’s bed almost immediately. Jun watched as the other boy scooted back on the bed, leaning his back against the wall and pulling his knees up to his chest. There was no sign of his roommate. All of Akanishi’s things were the way they were that last night. Laptop still open, but the screen was off. When the power to the dorm went off, the battery had probably died. But Jun’s own laptop had been off – he powered it on, hearing it whine a bit as it booted up after being off so long. There was still enough battery left.

Sho hadn’t entered the room, Jun realized. He was hovering in the doorway, peering down the corridor every few seconds in nervousness. He decided to ignore it, reaching for his chest of drawers. “Aiba, we’re about the same size, right?” Aiba said nothing, eyes staring at the stripes adorning Jin’s duvet cover. He grabbed one of Jin’s abandoned overnight bags from his closet and started shoving a few t-shirts, boxers, socks, a pair of khakis and jeans into it. He was glad he’d done laundry a few days before it had all gone to hell. “This can be your bag then.”

He tossed it on the bed, and Aiba didn’t move to grab it. All he did was incline his head slightly in thanks. Jun grabbed a bag from his own closet and put a few more changes of clothes in there. Sho was still in the doorway. He was a bit broader, was a bit bigger around the middle too. Jun swallowed down the lump in his throat at the memory of what Sho looked like without his clothes.

“My roommate has some things. He probably isn’t coming back for them,” was all he said to Sho as he stared at the laptop screen. After weeks with dull music, he opened up his music program and found something a bit noisier. Guitar instead of piano, some bass instead of violins. Finally, Sho entered the room, and behind him, he heard the other man opening up Jin’s drawers.

There was nothing more to do. It was so strange being in here after so many weeks in the gym. His things were here. Textbooks, clothes, cologne, music collection. He sat down heavily in his desk chair and rested his head on top of his arms on the wooden surface, letting the music just drift in and out of his head. There was some shuffling over the next few minutes. Sho and Aiba were changing.

Had it only been a month since he’d been in here? Watching TV when Jin was gone, playing game after game of Solitaire on his computer to avoid studying, sitting in the floor lounge alone whenever he came back to find a sock hanging on the doorknob. He wondered if he really missed it. Was this the life he wanted to get back to?

All the stuff in this room. He’d been without it for a month. It had been hard, really hard. But he’d survived. There was no knowing what was out there, no knowing if his family was still breathing. Maybe a DVD or a few volumes of manga or his phone charger didn’t really matter in the long run.

“I need to use the bathroom,” Aiba muttered, and he heard his footsteps retreat down the hall. He still needed to change. Jun ran a hand through his hair and sighed, getting out of his desk chair and looking through his drawers.

The door of the mini fridge opened, and Sho grumbled noisily. “Ugh, why the hell did I do that?” Jun was a bit too uncomfortable to laugh, keeping his back to the rest of the room as he pulled off the itchy shirt. One of his softest, most broken-in t-shirts felt almost like heaven against his skin as he pulled it over his head. He had a thin jacket in his closet, still smelling like smoke and the bars just off campus. He inhaled the scent of it, finding it far more comforting than he’d expected. Well, the top half of him was changed, but the rest remained.

Sho was busy digging around under Jin’s bed. “Juice under here should still be okay. Don’t know where we’d boil the water, but you’ve got some ramen.” He continued on, mumbling to himself, and Jun just decided that clean clothes were more important than modesty.

He still stayed between the closet door and the wall, slipping out of the scratchy pants and the safety center’s finest underwear. He nearly tripped over his own feet in his haste to pull a clean pair of boxers on, but when he reached for his jeans, he saw that Sho hadn’t even looked over. He shut the closet door, exhaling softly as he took another look around the room.

They couldn’t stay here. They just wouldn’t last. The campus was too open and exposed. Nino and Satoshi didn’t seem too keen on sticking around, but Jun wasn’t satisfied with any of the answers they’d offered so far about what was happening to people. He’d done his fair share, getting them into the dorm. They owed him now, in a way. They’d just have to follow along and let the two other men guide them through the hell his city had become.

Sho was zipping up the bag he’d given him. He leaned an elbow on the windowsill, finally turning around and meeting Jun’s eyes. It hadn’t been so long ago that Sho had been in this room for hours at a time, standing right where he was while Jun worked at his desk. He felt his breath catch, remembering how Sho would trail his fingers across the window screen in boredom, looking out across campus while Jun wrote and rewrote parts of his essays. It was strange how quickly things could change.

He wanted to say something. He wanted to just ask why. But he wondered if Sho even had an answer.

Jun didn’t get a chance to ask.

His closet door opened with a bang, and Nino was already poking through his stuff. “Jesus, do you have enough hats?”

Sho looked away, hoisting the bag on his shoulder. “I’ll go see if Aiba’s okay.” He grabbed the other man’s bag as well, heading out of the room and off towards the bathroom.

Jun cleared his throat, standing aside as the other half of the radio duo came into the room. For the first time, Jun noticed that the guy didn’t have a walking stick – it was a canoe paddle, covered in dried blood stains. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask those particular questions yet.

“Nice dorm,” O.S. noted as he sat down on Jun’s bed, setting down his tackle box. Nino closed Jun’s closet just as noisily, heading for Jin’s.

“Sho found most of the salvageable stuff in here.”

Nino nodded. “Yeah, the cafeteria was shit. We just have a hot plate, so we took noodles and things from down there. There was a lot of water though.” He gestured out to the hallway. “Let me and Ohno take care of any creepy crawlies. There’s a case of water that you’re carrying.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are we splitting it evenly?”

“Alright, I get it.” Nino flopped down unceremoniously on Jun’s bed and sitting rather close to Ohno, who was going through his tackle box without a care in the world. “You think we’re assholes.”

Jun shook his head. “I…”

“No, no it’s fair. We are assholes,” Nino admitted. “But you have to be if you want to get by. You’ve been safe for the past few weeks. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen.”

“Then tell me,” he said angrily. “Tell me what’s been happening!”

Nino waved his hand dismissively. “It’s hell, alright? Not everyone had a place in a safety center. Not everyone was guaranteed food, water and shelter. There’s one hundred and twenty-seven million people in this country, and they had a matter of days to try locking them all up. You know, before they got in their fancy jets and got the hell out themselves.”

So it was true. The government had left everyone behind. “What happened? What’s infecting everyone?”

“We don’t really know,” Ohno said, breaking his silence. His voice was still so calm it gave Jun goosebumps. “Nobody does. Information’s a tricky thing. You can’t really trust what anyone tells you. You have to see for yourself.”

“We’ve been taking notes. Keeping track of the stages,” Nino continued.

“What stages?”

“Of the disease, idiot.” Nino didn’t seem to be a very patient person. It took Ohno squeezing his hand to get him to calm down, and Jun felt like he was interrupting a private moment. Yet the two guys sitting on his bed didn’t seem to care that he was there at all.

Nino met his eyes, and Jun couldn’t look away. There was just something about Nino that hooked you, an intensity just bubbling underneath the surface. “Look. It’s everyone for himself out here now. And yes, we use the radio to cheat a bit at this whole survival game, but don’t kid yourself. If you’d been out here, if you’d gone weeks without your cushy little shelter, you’d be just as desperate as us and everyone else.”

“I wouldn’t steal. I wouldn’t give people false hope and then take everything they had.”

“You would,” Ohno said. “You would and there’s no way you’d feel bad about it.”

“You’re lying.”

“People are infected. People are dying. And they’re pissed about it. If they’re going down,” Nino went on, “then they want to take us down with them. It’s all the brain can do at that point. They just want to live. And they can’t.”

This was what the disease did? It turned normal people into savages, leaving the ones still not infected to do the same? Nino untangled his fingers from Ohno’s and stood up. He was a few inches shorter, but he was intimidating enough that Jun backed up until he was against Jin’s dresser. “This is humanity now. It only took one month. It is what it is.”

He shook his head. “Not me. Not everyone’s like that.”

“Now who’s a liar?” Nino backed off. “Water’s in the hallway. Get your things if you’re still coming with us.”

Aiba and Sho were in the hall, peering in as Nino and Ohno moved past them and towards the stairwell. Jun stayed in the room, glancing around for a few moments. He wasn’t going to get back here, at least not any time soon.

He closed the laptop, shutting off the music and pulled open his top desk drawer. A picture of his parents, his sister, and himself, smiling at the beach, was lying in there with extra pens, post-it notes and his checkbook. He slipped it into his bag and left the room, closing the door with a decisive click.

\------

The night air was prickling Jun's skin and setting his nerves on edge, and the box of bottled water was heavier than he ever remembered bottled water being. His shoulders were beginning to throb with every step he took.

"If it's so dangerous here, why are we walking around at night?" he choked out, glaring at Nino and Ohno's backs as they slipped underneath a bridge. The lantern Ohno was carrying provided far more light than Sho's flip-phone had, but it still wasn't much; anything more than a few feet away was shrouded in ominous darkness. It was worse knowing there was something out there- many somethings, many, many somethings- than it had been imagining what could have been lying in wait for them. Jun bemoaned his inquiries to the radio hijackers in his dorm room. He wished he didn't have the information now, walking along the sidewalk feeling terribly, horribly exposed.

Nino reached into his jacket and produced a tattered, folded paper. When he began pulling it apart, Jun could see it was a map. From the glow of the bobbing lanterns he could see dark, red X's drawn through several areas of it- quite a few areas of it. "This area isn't very infected- it's been largely hollowed out."

"How do you know that?" Sho demanded.

Nino just shrugged, pulling the map closer to his face as if examining it. "Trial and error, how do you think? Have to avoid the nests."

"Nests?" Aiba asked, in a voice that seemed to not actually want an explanation. Either Nino understood the implications or ignored it completely- Jun couldn't be sure. He just shifted the box of water in his arms, wincing.

"The infected are usually drawn towards the still-lit areas," Nino explained. "Stuff with neon lights like that screams fresh blood, so that tends to be where they congregate."

"And the subways," Ohno supplied helpfully. He seemed disinterested in the conversation going on behind him, only glancing over once at the map in Nino's grimy hands.

Sho shook his head, perhaps in disbelief, and Jun caught the movement in the corner of his vision. The older man seemed shaken, but still on the edge of incredulity. "This doesn't make any sense, there's no way that something like this could-"

"Where's Tokyo Tower?" Aiba asked, suddenly, as the five stepped out from under the bridge and back into the open air. Jun glanced over to his right- he hadn't even noticed that he had failed to spot the lights usually easily distinguishable in the sky. He'd been so preoccupied, had assumed they would be there.

They weren't. Where they should have been was a void, a blankness.

"Tokyo Tower?" Nino scoffed. "That came down over a week ago."

"Came down?" Jun whispered, even as the memories flooded back- the explosion. They'd all heard it, clear as day, they just hadn't known what it was. Someone had taken it down, and he was willing to bet it was deliberate.

He glanced behind him to see Aiba shaking, and Sho put an arm around the other man's shoulders.

"Bunch of Lost decided they didn't like it anymore," Nino said, humming a little bit to himself. "Maybe they didn't like the aesthetics."

There was a very long silence, and Jun tried to look anywhere but at the hole in the sky where Tokyo Tower should have been. It had been a symbol, hadn't it? It had nothing to do with aesthetics, nothing to do with beauty. He knew without really knowing that if things were as bad as their radio guides said it was- and he was inclined to believe it, finally being outside the safety center confines- it hadn't been about anything but anger. Denial. Furious rage at knowing that death was looming and imminent. What better to take out than a national landmark?

_Japan is lost._

And it seemed it really was.

For a long time, all Jun could hear was the scraping of their soles against the cement. Nino put his map away, and sighed a little, gaze sweeping from side to side. Jun didn't need the light to know the man's hand was wrapped tightly around the controller hanging from the chain- he played it off well, but there was still an air of nervousness surrounding them, enveloping them completely.

"What are the Lost?" Sho asked, quietly- subdued.

"Who knows?" Ohno sighed, and Nino made a noise of affirmation.

"One of the stages," he said vaguely. "Who knows what they are really called, if anything. But they're dangerous."

Another silence, stretched like a rubber band. Jun kept waiting for the sting when it bounced back against them. Aiba spoke again. "Dangerous?"

"They retain a lot of cognitive thought," Nino said. There was a rustle to their left, but small- animal rather than person, it seemed. After a moment, Nino's shoulders relaxed again. "A lot of anger. The beginning of the flesh-lust."

Jun did not ask about what he meant by that. He couldn't. His throat was already closed, and just hearing such a name fall so easily into the conversation- he could picture well enough. He might not know the causes, but he understood. He understood what had been lying in wait for them outside the safety center, what had been in the bushes below the gym's rooftop that night.

Behind him, Aiba gave out a sigh that sounded like it was a reaction to the shiver running down his spine.

They walked a long time in silence, with Jun's fingers trembling around the bottom of the water. It was dark and too, too quiet- but Nino seemed to be right. He didn't see movement anywhere since they were sticking to the smaller, residential streets. The draw did appear to be bigger places, with more activity- or, at least, what used to be more activity. Without even planes flying overhead, the entire city felt like a bomb just waiting to explode.

It was the smell that hit Jun first. It wasn't really new, since the whole place was tinged with it, but it was strong- it gagged him, made his tongue swell. He stopped because he couldn't breathe and nearly dropped the box he was carrying. It was so overpowering he couldn't think straight.

He shouldn't have taken the extra steps to one side, because the back of his ankle hit something lying in the grass. He knew instantly. He all but threw the box of water down, flinging himself to the side- he knew, he knew what it was that was lying on the grass. He could smell it, taste it, feel it in the atmosphere around them. It was a body, it had to be a body.

And then Ohno swung the lantern over to illuminate it.

It was barely a body, barely human- it might have been at one point. It was contorted and festering- all blackened, rotting skin that was slowly falling off the bones underneath. Jun got one look and had to look away, swallowing down hot bile. His eyes were pricking with the sting of automatic tears, and it was only half due to the stench.

Nino snorted. "Made it all the way here? I'm impressed."

Aiba was looking closer, peeking in, all science and curiosity and wide, barely seeing eyes.

"Aiba, Aiba stop-" Sho was moaning, stumbling backwards from the sight. He fell down beside where Jun had collapsed on all fours, and then there were arms wrapping around Jun's shoulders, hands tangling in the back of his hair. It seemed instinctive- had Jun been more coherent, he would have frozen from the contact. But he could barely breathe, lungs wheezing, and he just half-buried his face in the crook of Sho's arm.

"Is it dead?" Aiba whispered, as if it wasn't terribly obvious.

"Was dead long before it got to this stage," Nino replied.

Jun heard Aiba's soles scrape backwards, and the other man was silent for a second. "Is this- what happens?"

"Eventually?" Ohno mused. "Yes."

"They're like zombies," Aiba whispered. Sho's arms tightened around Jun's shoulders.

Nino's map crinkled again, and the lantern moved so that the decaying body was no longer visible. Jun could still smell it, would probably always be able to smell it, and not being able to make it out in the shadows didn't really help anything.

"At one point," Nino agreed. "But by the last stage- well, they're just dying. Already dead. Literally the living dead, in a way."

Jun's flight response was on overdrive. He pushed himself up to his feet, using Sho as a support without really thinking about it. He just wanted to get away. He was exhausted, his head was pounding, his chest was constricting, and his nose was burning- he couldn't process anymore. Any belief was overloading his brain, any more information was simply going to slide away.

"Let's go," he mumbled. "Please, let's just go."

"Mm," Nino said. "Better get moving. If they are trickling down here from the downtown areas, who knows what we might hit."

Sho's arms fell away. At the edge of his vision, Jun could see Sho pulling Aiba away from the corpse, pulling him along- Aiba looked stunned and horrified, but still mildly interested. You could take scientists out of the labs, Jun supposed, but you couldn't take the natural inquisitiveness that accompanied them.

Nino picked up the fallen box of water, and he and Ohno started talking in front of them, in low tones Jun couldn't decipher. Sho kept his arm around Aiba's shoulders, and then reached down to lace his fingers through Jun's. Even in the midst of everything, in the rankness and the soul-wrenching disgust, Sho had strength to spare.

And Jun just squeezed his hand, and tried to breathe again.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=34826op)

They’d just missed the cherry blossoms. But the scent of them still lingered. The sun was rising, streaming through the trees. Aoyama Cemetery didn’t strike Jun as a place he’d want to wait out an apocalyptic nightmare, but as they left the main path and headed past grave after grave, it started making more sense.

“They don’t come here,” Ohno was saying quietly as they sidestepped one of the metal gates around some famous writer’s resting place. “It’s like they’re losing their minds and want to get them back. It’s a waste to come here. Everyone’s already dead.”

Surrounded by death and the disappearing aroma of flowers, it may have been the most logical hideout in the center of Tokyo. Jun liked movies. He’d seen his share of horror films with zombies crawling, desperate to eat the brains of the living. They usually came tumbling out of graves. But the cemetery was calm, almost peaceful. There was trash, as if other groups of people had passed through, but it didn’t seem like anyone else had set up camp here.

Nino and Ohno led them down a small hill to a small crypt. “In there?” Sho asked nervously. The idea of hanging out in a tomb where families had buried their loved ones didn’t sit too well with Jun either.

“Home sweet home,” Nino said, setting down the water and pulling the gate open. They followed him inside. Thankfully, there were only two graves within, a husband and wife, and it was sealed shut. The room, smelling of incense offered over the past several years, had a simple stone floor, a bench and an incredible stockpile of bottled water and snacks.

Aiba collapsed on the bench, laying on his back with a sigh. They’d been walking for hours, and Jun slumped down against the wall opposite the sealed graves. Sho was examining the family’s nameplate, running his fingers along it. Ohno and Nino were far less contemplative, instead going through the bags of loot they’d claimed from the safety center and from the dorm cafeteria.

Jun saw that the two men had made the little mausoleum their own. There was a Tokyo subway map hastily taped against another wall with more heavy marks on it. Entire wards were crossed off, and one Nino had even labeled “Here be dragons” like the old sailing maps. The man’s sense of humor was lost on Jun.

“We’re not used to company,” Ohno remarked, holding out a bag of wasabi peas. “Breakfast?”

Sho took the bag gratefully, scooping out a healthy handful before passing it on to Aiba. Jun wasn’t feeling terribly hungry, not after the body they’d seen. That was what happened to the people infected with this? Left on the side of the road in the grass, nobody around to even bury the body? It was hard to think about, but the person he’d seen had had a family. Friends. A job. Only a month ago, they’d been no different from Jun, had they?

“We’re supposed to be making rounds,” Nino announced. “But I think we hit the jackpot with you three. We haven’t had much luck getting in touch with anybody. I didn’t think anyone was listening to the radio.”

“We wouldn’t have known you guys were out there if we hadn’t broken into the radio rooms. They were just playing…”

“Elevator music,” Nino interrupted Sho. “We know. You weren’t the first safety center we’ve been to.”

“Just the first one where the people were still…” Ohno’s voice trailed off, and he looked almost sad before shrugging and pulling stuff out of his tackle box to add to their stash.

That quieted everyone down. Other people, forced into the safety centers and told to stay calm hadn’t been as fortunate as he had been. They’d probably had no idea what was out there until those lost souls, those things that were barely recognizable as human, had swarmed. A chill went down his spine. It could have been any center, but theirs had survived until now.

He held his bag close, saying a silent prayer for his family, his friends. People on the outside or on the inside – nobody was safe from this, were they?

“So where do you record your broadcasts?” Aiba asked a few minutes later, as soon as the reality of what Nino and Ohno had probably seen sank in.

Nino was eating a handful of gummy candy like sitting in someone’s crypt was nothing strange at all. “Oh, there’s a radio station a few blocks from the cemetery entrance. But we can’t record now.”

“Tower’s out,” Ohno reminded them. “But it was fun while it lasted.”

“And where were you? I mean, you from around here?” Sho wondered.

Satoshi didn’t look up from the tackle box while Nino fished around in the bag for more sugary treats. “Don’t feel like sharing everything. We don’t know you.”

Jun rolled his eyes. “What does it matter?”

Nino stared at him. “Look. It hasn’t been the best few weeks of my life, alright? Can’t you just stick to one annoying, invasive question an hour?”

“Sorry,” Aiba offered on behalf of all three of them, taking the duffel bag full of clothes and putting it under his head. Even though it was morning, there’d been no chance to rest since they’d left the safety center, and Jun was curious but just as tired.

There wasn’t too much room, and Sho moved away from the sealed side of the room to crouch down next to him. Jun couldn’t blame him – there was no way he’d be able to lay down and sleep knowing there were caskets just on the other side of the wall.

Sho set down his bag, the one full of Jin’s clothes, and used it for his own pillow. Jun kept next to the wall. It wasn’t as comfortable as the cots in the gym, not like they’d been all that comfortable to begin with, but beggars couldn’t be choosers he figured. Nino was still making noise with the candy wrappers.

“If we’re gone when you wake up, don’t freak out. We’re probably just off being morally bankrupt,” Nino informed them. Jun didn’t care to find out exactly what that meant.

“When you’re fully rested, we’ll get you some things to protect yourselves,” Ohno said, his voice a bit more gentle and calm than his friend’s.

He felt a blanket smack him a few moments later, just big enough to cover him and Sho. “Thanks,” he heard him mumble just beside him. For all his bark, Nino didn’t have as much of a bite as Jun might have originally thought.

\-----

Nino was ridiculously vague with what "going to procure weapons" meant, but Jun wasn't entirely sure he needed an explanation; Nino's controller-on-a-chain and Ohno's splattered canoe paddle spoke volumes on their own. He wasn't sure where exactly they would be getting anything new to use, but things started to click into place when they arrived after a long walk at a deserted mall.

After the discovery of the body earlier, Jun felt like there were eyes constantly on the back of his head. He checked every corner of his vision for contorted limbs- but there was nothing. The mall was as empty as the streets were, with a scattering of trash everywhere that hadn't been picked up for weeks.

"So we are getting weapons?" Aiba clarified.

Nino made an exasperated sound. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"But in zombie movies, people always use guns," Aiba said. He frowned, hair falling in front of his eyes. He looked like he hadn't really slept much- Jun could relate. If he hadn't been so exhausted, he didn't think he would have slept at all after discovering the corpse on the roadside.

"Wow, you're right," Nino said. He stopped completely, turning around with wide eyes. For a moment, Jun even believed it- the man was a good actor. But the sarcasm was obvious, even if Aiba himself seemed to be missing it completely. "What the hell have we been thinking? Let me go and get my shotgun- oh wait, _I don't have a shotgun."_

There was a long silence, and Jun could see Aiba's face fall.

"There's no need to get mean about it," Sho interjected.

Nino glared, and for the first time, Jun wondered how much of his bravado was a cleverly crafted defense mechanism. The shorter man seemed to snap anytime the atmosphere got particularly tense. Black humor and inappropriate jokes might just be his way of keeping his own fear carefully in check. "If we had access to something like that, we'd be using it right now, wouldn't we?"

"Kazu," Ohno said, suddenly. It wasn't very forceful, and it wasn't very loud, but it stopped Nino's tirade. After a tense moment, Nino turned and started walking again, with Ohno very near his shoulder, and Jun fell into step beside Aiba, who still looked hurt. When he caught the other man's gaze, he gave him a sad smile- it was the best he could do, under the circumstances.

The closer they got to the buildings in the building, the more Jun could see the littered trails of destruction that surrounded it. There was broken glass everywhere, crunching under the soles of his shoes. Fliers, broken boxes, even pieces of cars- it covered the parking lot. There were several abandoned vehicles that looked like they'd been hit by a twister and completely raided. The infected- if that was who had hit the mall- had left very little salvageable, but Nino and Ohno seemed to know where they were going. They led them inside a side entrance nearly completely hidden behind an overturned dumpster, and into the half-broken doors.

"Ugh," Nino commented, stepping over what appeared to be a box of rotting food long since past its prime. Jun was inclined to agree with the statement.

The interior of the mall was just like the inside of the dorms had been. There was spray paint everywhere, dripping like blood splatters against the drywall in various pleas, curses, and resigned statements- _the country is lost. You cannot escape. Why have they forsaken us?_

Aiba shifted closer, and Jun was glad for it. He reached for Aiba's elbow and squeezed a bit, just a little bit of affirmation for both of them.

As they got closer to the store Nino was obviously headed towards- what appeared to be a sporting goods store already heavily pilfered from- there was another set of footsteps down the hall. Jun spun in panic, hands out in front of his face, while Aiba jumped and gave out a little cry of alarm. Ohno's hands were immediately on his paddle.

It was a guy around their age, palms out in a gesture of surrender.

"Wait, wait," he said- he sounded normal. He sounded so normal and relief was almost painful when Jun drew in another shaking breath. "I'm-"

"Okay," Sho sighed, obviously feeling the same adrenaline crash. "You startled us."

Nino didn't pocket his make-shift whip, but he did lower his arms a bit. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to find something to defend myself with," the man answered. When there was a long pause, he bowed a little stiffly. "I'm Kame."

"We're not stopping," Nino said curtly, and started back off towards the sporting goods store again. When Kame paused, clearly unsure of what to do, Aiba motioned for him to follow.

Their feet crunched over broken display cases.

"Sorry about him," Sho said, gingerly stepping around a mannequin that had lost its head- the visual was a little too close to home to sit well with Jun. "He's- prickly."

"Well, we think he is," Aiba agreed.

Kame seemed to be digesting this information. His clothes looked dirty, like Nino and Ohno's- it seemed no one in the city had showered since the outbreak had begun, really. Jun wondered if he'd gotten into a safety center and had since left. He wondered if he should ask; he decided not to. He wasn't quite ready to hear about other safety centers failing, because he was still clinging to the hope that his parents and sister had gotten to one in time.

It burned the back of his throat to think about them.

"It's just the situation," Kame said. "Everyone's on edge."

He had that right. Nino and Ohno had both disappeared somewhere in the aisles that were barely pathways at all anymore. Nearly everything on the shelves had been overturned, and many of the shelving units had been, as well. The store was in tatters, in complete disarray, but there were still bits of merchandise beneath the broken boards and ceiling debris that covered the tiles. Jun wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking for- something to fight with?

How did one fight against a sentient, human enemy?

Sho and Aiba turned to the left, so Jun tried the right, with Kame on his heels. He picked around boxes and some pieces of cardboard that had obviously gotten soaked and since dried in odd, contorted curves.

"Is it just you guys?" Kame asked, reaching for a piece of clothing and then making a face of disgust when it came up with a dark crimson splotch on one sleeve. "Just you five?"

"Yeah," Jun answered. "Well- three of us were in a center, for awhile. But now it's the five of us, I guess."

He wasn't entirely sure they wanted to stick with Nino and Ohno. They were still unknown, still potential threats. In a city of violence and danger, they knew it better than Jun did, and he would give them that, at least. He just didn't know. Safety in numbers sounded better than being lost with Sho and Aiba, didn't it?

He frowned at the baseball cap he pulled up under insulation.

"I just came to get something to fight with," Kame said, sighing. "I wasn't in a center, but I have a place to go back to. It's pretty safe."

"Really?" Jun asked. His curiosity was piqued- had Kame found a crypt like the one he'd slept in last night? A bank vault? Something fortified against those who wished to break into it?

Maybe he had access to someone in the government. Maybe he knew more than they did.

"Mm," Kame confirmed. "You guys are welcome to come back with me."

It was tempting, especially given the looting and raiding Nino and Ohno seemed to take as necessary measures. Jun didn't like the idea of stealing from those who might need it. The safety center had needed the food they'd taken as thieves in the night; it was wrong. Everything was wrong, but adding more wrongness to it didn't help make the situation right again.

"Maybe we will," Jun concluded. He stepped around a large puddle on the floor- it was clear, so it was probably just water, but Jun wasn't willing to take any chances. There was a noise of success from down the aisle, and he turned to see who it was.

Aiba was holding a golf club, making short, checked swings in the path.

"5 wood," he said gleefully, giving Jun a thumbs up.

"Good find," Jun called back. He turned his attention back towards an overturned box. It was filled with mostly packing peanuts, but at the bottom he found a tennis racket. It was a little bent, and one of the strings of twine had come loose, but maybe it would serve his purpose.

Kame held up a life preserver that was ripped across the front. "Think we'll be doing much swimming?"

"Don't think so," Jun said, grinning a little despite himself. It was nice to have someone whose humor wasn't marred with the stench of death. He kept a hold of the tennis racket- maybe it would come in handy.

"Hey!" Sho shouted, from the next aisle over. "Can I get some help?"

When Jun got closer, he found the older man struggling to get a baseball bat perched high on a set of shelves that hadn't fallen. He banged on the side, but it wasn't enough movement to dislodge the object- it had wedged itself against another box, and stubbornly refused to move. Jun could only assume it was the reason the bat hadn't been taken yet.

"I'll get it," Kame offered. He pulled over an overturned cooler, the hard kind one packed with drinks for an all-day beach excursion, and righted it, closing the lid with a pat. Standing on it got him just high enough for his fingers to reach the handle of the bat, though he was obviously straining on his tip-toes. "Just about got it-"

Jun hadn't even seen Ohno approach. The canoe paddle made a sharp hiss as it sped through the air and then a crack when it hit the back of Kame's head. Kame slumped immediately and fell, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. The cooler beneath his feet jerked to one side and rolled a little ways away until it caught on some pieces of the ceiling that had broken off and fallen to the ground.

"What is wrong with you?!" Sho exclaimed, when Ohno merely stood over Kame's body looking dispassionately down. "He was helping us!"

Jun nearly choked on his fury. "He knew of a safe place, did you hear that? He was going to show us where it was. Can't stand having anyone else know more than you, is that it?"

The look Ohno gave him then was eerily unreadable. He didn't even say anything, and for a long while, no one really moved. Then Ohno used the flat end of his paddle to push back the bottom of one of Kame's jeans, revealing the skin of his calf.

It was black and decaying, red at the edges and flaking off. Jun took a step backwards, gagging.

"Shit," Aiba whispered from behind Jun's shoulder.

"No," Sho gasped. "No, that's not possible."

There were footsteps behind them, and Nino approached with one eyebrow raised. He didn't look surprised, and he didn't look concerned- he didn't look anything, really, which was worse than any expression would have been.

"This place isn't safe," he said, and for the first time Jun noticed how tightly his fingers were wrapped around the chain of his controller. Nino's hand hadn't really moved from the weapon since they'd entered the mall. "We should go, they're watching it."

"No," Sho repeated again. "Why- why would they do that?"

Ohno kicked a bit at Kame's body, pushing him closer to the shelves he'd been trying to reach the top of. "Fresh meat."

Jun unconsciously tucked the tennis racket under his arm. Nino reached forward for the baseball bat that had clattered back behind the shelves when Kame had fallen, and held it out for Sho. When Sho just stared at him, Nino sighed and shook the object. "Look, this is the way it is now, okay?"

After a very long moment, when Jun almost forgot to breathe, Sho reached out to take the baseball bat offered.

"What do we do?" Aiba asked, quietly.

"Can't leave him here," Nino said.

Jun stared down at Kame's body, and tried not to look at the decaying skin on his leg. The other man had been talking to him like normal, chatting with him- said he knew of a safe haven. That had all been a lie, hadn't it? Every word had just been to lure them into something, a trap, an ambush- maybe something worse.

Sho recoiled. "You can't be serious. You can't _kill_ him!"

"Wanna let him live?" Nino shot back. "You wanna run into him again in a couple of days when the flesh-lust has taken over and he's trying to eat your face? He's dying anyway- why do you think he was so keen on getting you guys to go with him?"

Sho didn't answer; it didn't look like he could. Jun swallowed hard.

Then Ohno stepped forward again, eyes still on Kame's form. "I've got it. You get them out."

Jun didn't want to know what he was going to do. He didn't want to know what was going to happen, how long Kame had left before he became mindless like the person in the safety center gym had been. He stumbled out of the store behind Aiba, with Sho and Nino behind him, clutching the tennis racket like his last lifeline and just stared out at the hollowed cars that sat in the parking lot.

Ohno came out a few minutes later, and no one said anything at all as they walked back to the crypt.


	6. Chapter 6

He ran his fingers down the tennis racket's strings, plucking nervously. Jun couldn't get the sight of the man from the mall out of his mind. He'd seemed normal, just as scared as they were. Who could be trusted now?

Jun was almost tempted to poke under Nino or Ohno's pant legs that night, see if the skin there was rotting or flaking. Sho and Aiba couldn't possibly be infected, but what did they really know about these two?

Other than the fact that they'd saved his life in that store.

So maybe they weren't infected. But it didn't make them any more trustworthy. He hated that this was shaking him up so badly, but how the hell else was he supposed to act? The radio station was a good kilometer's hike from the safety of the crypt, and Ohno had taken Aiba and Sho along. Sho because of his baseball bat – and Aiba because he was Aiba and he was curious. Jun stayed behind.

Apparently, Nino and Ohno's voices weren't the only ones out here. Broadcasts were rare, but occasionally there was word of safe havens. People who'd broken through a weak spot in the blockade, broadcasting in half a dozen languages, calling out from boats. Giving coded messages about meet-ups, about safe passage away from Japan. There were boats from Korea, Australia, and Singapore, amongst others.

People who broke with their own countries to try and save the abandoned Japanese when the United Nations and the country's own leaders had forbade contact. Nino didn't have many details, but as the weeks went on, fewer boats were getting through and signaling rescues. Fewer legitimate messages, at least. The latest scam, perpetrated by the more sentient of the infected, by people who could walk and talk among them like Kame – these infected people would lure the unfortunate, desperate people with the promise of escape.

Tokyo Bay was bloated with corpses, Ohno had mentioned. People who had fallen for the tricks. And so Nino and Ohno played it safe, staying in the crypt and stocking up. But they listened, trying to find an honest broadcast amongst the lies. None had come, not in almost two weeks.

Nino was counting food while Jun fiddled with the tennis racket. Nobody could be alone, not after what had happened at the mall. He watched as Nino took out a marker, adding a line on a piece of paper from his pocket.

“What's that?” he asked, already having a sickening feeling about the answer.

Nino smirked, his eyes darting to Jun's. “Just keeping track.”

“Of what?”

“You know what,” Nino remarked, setting the paper back in his pocket. Kills. Nino had just made a mark on the paper, a mark for Kame. How many marks were there on that paper? Was it like a game to him? Was he trying for a high score?

He set the racket down at his side, running his hand through his hair in frustration. This was his life now, wasn't it? Sitting in a crypt, scavenging, listening for help that would never come. “When did you and Satoshi meet?”

Maybe now that he had the man alone, he'd be more forthcoming. Maybe he'd finally act like a human being, not some crazy person with a Wii controller for a flail. Nino snorted. “Long story.”

“Got time.”

The other man sighed heavily, scratching the back of his neck. “Memory's the first thing to go. At least that's what people have been saying. Guess if I remember this, it means I'm still alive.”

The hell was he talking about? What did he mean about memory? “I don't follow.”

“That mall. We met at that mall, probably the same night you and your friends got nice and cozy in your prison,” he said, ignoring Jun's question. “Didn't even bother to evacuate. Whoever was inside was inside when they set the locks. Healthy, infected, didn't matter. There was no quarantine. They just locked the door.”

“There was a Dragon Quest display in Sofmap. I love Dragon Quest.” Nino laughed, far more heartfelt than Jun had yet heard from him. He almost sounded broken, as if the memories were all flooding back at once and he couldn't stop them. “And I...I didn't even hear people screaming, banging on the doors to get out. Satoshi did. He heard that, so don't ask him about it.”

“Nino...”

“You wanted to know, so shut up, okay? I guess some had gotten in, maybe they'd already been in there. The mall management was gone. When I finally looked away from the demo, the store was empty. So I...I pulled down the...the what do you call it, the uh...”

“The gate? Like when the store's closed?”

“Right, right. Yeah.” Nino looked down, passing the Wii controller from hand to hand, fingers pressing the buttons over and over again in an unconscious movement. “I pulled that down and the power went off, but uh...they had snacks. There was water, juice. Think about twenty packages of rice crackers in the employee break room. I lived in there.”

Jun had a bed, meals, showers – for weeks. Nino had whatever was left in the break room of a mall shop. He shivered. “Satoshi was in an outdoor store. He likes to fish right? So he was just looking for some lure. I don't know anything about that, he could tell you.” Nino was stalling, but Jun had no idea if it was from fear or just plain trauma. “On the fourth day, they were in the vents. Taunting us. I...I don't know how they were getting around, but they'd scratch, they'd breathe, they'd sing. Ha, they could still sing Morning Musume songs, word for word...”

The story was interrupted. “I'm home!” Ohno announced, Aiba and Sho right behind him. Night had already fallen outside the crypt. Nino clammed up almost immediately, blinking back the tears in his eyes at the bad memories. Jun felt guilty for asking him to talk. He'd wanted Nino the human being – he'd gotten him.

“Welcome home,” Nino said, rubbing his nose and trying to greet his friend with a smile. “Anything?”

Ohno didn't seem to notice Nino's distress, or he was very good at hiding his true feelings. “Have to try again tomorrow. Lots of static. Been bad since the tower came down – can't get anything long range now.”

“Maybe we could find another station?” Aiba wondered, settling back down on the bench he'd claimed as his bed. The golf club dropped to the floor with a thunk.

Nino cleared his throat. “We can only walk so far from Aoyama and back in a day. If we look for another place, the risk grows. We don't know what stations are up and running, and the neighborhoods we can go through are limited. We've got food here for weeks.”

“But if they've completely overrun the mall,” Ohno noted quietly, “they might have trackers, scouts following us back here.”

“Well, let's decide in the morning? Okay?” Sho asked. It was only then that he noticed the baseball bat shaking in Sho's hand. There was no blood on it – but had they seen something? “I just want to rest.”

Nino looked over, almost looking sympathetic for a moment before masking it with his usual annoyed expression. “Go ahead, snuggle up with your boyfriend.” He pulled the map down from the wall and started examining it as Jun felt his skin get clammy.

“I beg your pardon?” Sho's voice was shaking, and it wasn't just from being outside. Aiba laughed, his usual breathy laugh, and Sho looked mortified. Jun could only stare at the leg of his jeans, trying to count the threads. Maybe this was Nino's payback – Jun got him to open up, and Nino didn't enjoy being all that vulnerable. Was it so obvious that he and Sho had a past? It wasn't much of one, he thought darkly. Just sit down, he tried to think in Sho's direction. Sit down and ignore him.

“I don't get it,” Ohno mumbled, moving to his own corner of the room and laying down, canoe paddle at his side.

Aiba laughed again, almost a giggle, but he abruptly stopped. Jun looked up over the top of his glasses to see that Sho was standing in front of Nino, bat in hand. His senpai's temper was going to get the best of him. “You don't know anything about me,” Sho was saying, his voice entering a higher register like it always did when he was furious and unable to control it.

“Can we just sleep please?” Jun asked, and Nino was grinning at Sho. Daring him to do something. “Please?”

Sho's fingers tightened around the bat, knuckles turning white. “You don't know anything,” he whispered.

Nino turned his attention back to the map. “My mistake. I guess all those loving looks you two give each other was just my mind playing-”

Jun closed his eyes as Sho tore the map from Nino's hands. He heard the paper rip, and Sho's frustrated cry. “Stop it!” Aiba interrupted, trying to calm everyone down. “Don't fight!”

He got to his feet, first taking the bat away from Sho before tugging on his arm. “He's just trying to rile you up.”

“Loverboy to the rescue!” Nino announced. He turned serious. “Look, you don't have to stay here and eat our food, Sakurai. You can just get the fuck out.”

Sho wrenched out of Jun's grasp. “I'm sleeping outside.” He yanked the bat back and took off, slamming open the gate and heading out into the cemetery. Hopefully he'd come back in if they heard anything.

Aiba grabbed his blanket and the golf club, giving Jun a nod as he followed Sho out into the dark. Jun didn't much like the thought of them out there alone, but at least they'd have each other. He turned, fixing Nino with a glare. “Don't mess with him. He's scared. We're all scared,” he told him.

“I wasn't wrong though, was I?”

Jun said nothing, turning to head back to his tiny corner of the room. A snore broke the silence.

Ohno had slept through it all.

\--

There was still nothing but static on the radio.

The crypt was smaller than the gymnasium had been, and infinitely closer quarters. Jun felt antsy when he was unable to go outside- he assumed the cemetery was relatively safe, since Sho and Aiba had spent the last night in the open air, but that didn't mean he was itching to go camp in it. The mausoleum walls were thick and gave them a definite element of protection, one he didn't feel like giving up needlessly. But he could feel it in his lips, the heaviness of wanting to be able to get out of the cramped room.

Sho wasn't speaking to Nino, and Nino hadn't attempted to speak directly to Sho again. The tension was thick and palpable, and it was impossible to miss, though Ohno seemed relatively unaffected. Jun felt like every time he shifted, he was precariously altering the balance held between the five. It was disconcerting. And it was making Sho short with everyone else.

And without being able to pick up anything on the radio, they were at a loss as to what could be out there- more traps, no doubt, and those wishing to use them as their meal, but also help. Hope. There could be someone broadcasting for survivors, and they would never know as long as they stayed cooped up in the tomb.

Ohno didn't volunteer to take people out again- Jun wondered if maybe he knew the decision was coming as well.

It wasn't until Aiba said anything, though, that it finally came out in the open.

"Why don't we go?"

There was a long, long silence, and even Nino's hands stilled on the controller where he'd been mindlessly punching buttons. Aiba looked both serious and calm; he knew what he was suggesting, and he was ready to see out the end of the discussion. Even Jun could tell that Aiba was more restless than he was, more ready to leave and get out.

"To try and find a radio station?" Ohno asked. He had been cleaning his canoe paddle, and the rag he was using was pink with blood coming off the flat end. Jun tried not to look at it- after all, some of it was Kame's, and he wasn't entirely ready to focus on that yet. It was too fresh, just like the darker lines on the oar.

"No," Aiba said, and shook his head. "I mean to go. We could find somebody, move far enough to maybe pick up another broadcast."

The chain of Nino's remote clanked against the ground. "You want us to leave the only safe place we've found in a wild goose chase for something we don't know is out there?"

"It is out there," Aiba insisted. He was so earnest, so honest- his eyes were open and pleading and wide, and nearly impossible to resist. "There are people out there who will help us, I know it."

"How?" Nino demanded, sitting upright. "How could you possibly know that?"

Because of who he is, Jun thought instantly. Because it's Aiba- he loves, he cares, he believes. Ohno might have lost hope, and Nino definitely had, but Aiba- Jun wasn't sure he ever would. He always believed the best in people, even when presented otherwise, even when facing a monstrosity that turned humanity inside out and set them upon their fellow man. Aiba would find the bright spot in the situation beneath layers and layers of storm clouds.

"I just do," Aiba shot back.

"Where would we go?" Sho asked.

Aiba shrugged, and he was starting to look desperate. "Somewhere. Anywhere. Just- out."

There was another uneasy silence, and Nino turned to Ohno. He motioned subtly, and Jun caught the motion but not the meaning behind it.

"Let's vote, then," Nino said. He sounded harsh. He sounded mean- meaner than usual, at least. The others inched closer, so they were seated in a circle around Nino's discarded remote-on-a-chain. Jun could feel the shorter man's shrewd gaze on him as the others got comfortable. "Rock to stay, scissors to leave. Cast your vote on three."

There was buzzing in Jun's ears. If the votes to leave won, would Nino let them? Would Ohno side with his partner no matter what his own opinions were? Jun wasn't even sure what he should pick. He just knew that he was claustrophobic in the crypt, and if anyone was out there who did want to help them-

-they had to get out, didn't they? They had to try to leave. They couldn't spend the rest of their lives fighting each day just to survive, scrounging for whatever food they could find near enough to the safe hold.

Jun put his hand into the middle, following the others.

"On three," Nino repeated, looking like a vulture back and forth between the faces surrounding him. "One, two-"

The die was cast. Jun's fingers were trembling. Three scissors- two rock. Aiba sat back with a pleased look on his face as Ohno shrugged a bit and took his hand back. Sho and Nino- hands in tight fists- shared a look that said everything and nothing at the same time, and then quickly looked away.

Jun thought maybe Nino would yell at Ohno for differing from his opinion, but Nino turned his attention towards Aiba instead. "Why?" he demanded.

"Don't you believe?" Aiba asked.

"That what?" Nino spat. "That someone's going to save us? That someone out there cares about five misfits trying to stay alive? You've seen what it is out there- it's not our world anymore. Those aren't people anymore, and they sure as hell don't care about you or your feelings. They just want to live, and to live they want to eat you."

And Aiba- smiling, bright Aiba- was shaking his head furiously, as if moving fast enough would dissipate Nino's words entirely. "That's not what everything is like. Not everyone is like that."

"They are," Nino hissed. "And now we're walking willingly into it."

The shorter man stood in a rage and moved to the corner, packing things into the backpack with as much force as he could muster. Jun watched him- he'd go with it, then. He'd let the majority decide his fate, as much as he protested against it. But it wasn't Nino's vote that had surprised Jun.

He turned to Sho, who was packing up his own bag with quiet deliberateness, head bowed.

"You want to stay?" Jun asked, under his breath, readying his own meager things beside the other man. "You think it's better here?"

"Not about being better," Sho sighed. "It's about staying alive."

Jun glanced over at Nino and Ohno, in the opposite corner. Nino's angry movements had stilled, largely because Ohno's arm was pressed against him, fingers tangling in the back of Nino's hair. Their heads were bowed together, so Ohno was saying something- though what, Jun couldn't guess. Whatever it was, it seemed to be working. Nino's shoulders were relaxing, entire body shifting forward towards Ohno's form.

He looked away. He felt like he was intruding, despite it all, and it wasn't really his business.

"We can protect ourselves here," Sho said. "There's shelter and defense. What do we have out there?"

Jun glanced at Aiba. "Hope, I guess."

Sho just looked at him, expression unreadable, and something was shimmering in the air between them. It made Jun's stomach clench and roil, but not necessarily in a bad fashion. He didn't know how to read it, what to call it- maybe there wasn't a name.

Then Sho looked back down to his bag, and zipped it up with finality. "Maybe."

The figures across the room were finished packing up their belongings. Ohno had picked up his canoe paddle and was tapping it against the stone floor.

"I don't know where to go," he admitted.

"Well, there's death in every direction," Nino snapped. "Somebody just pick one."

"Chiba," Aiba said automatically.

Everything paused- Jun should have known. It wasn't the wrong suggestion, but it was motivated by too much personal involvement. Of course Aiba wanted to go home. Didn't they all? But home wasn't going to get them to boats, or help. Strategy-wise, it wasn't their best move. Nino's eyes swept across Jun's face for a second, the same understanding in Nino's eyes.

"I don't know," Sho said, as gently as possible. "We don't know anything about Chiba, or what's been hit there-"

"But we have to try," Aiba said. His voice sounded hoarse, fueled by things Jun understood all too well.

The chain on Nino's make-shift whip jangled on his belt. "I don't want to agree with the mother hen here, but Sho's right." Sho glared, but it lost some of its intensity when Nino shrugged a bit. "It's not necessarily the best move."

Seeing Aiba's rapidly falling expression, Jun couldn't bite his tongue back fast enough. "We could try."

"See?" Aiba said, perking. "And there's radio towers there."

"If they haven't been smashed up like Tokyo Tower was," Nino pointed out. When it seemed like he was going to stay more, Ohno reached over to touch his elbow. It stilled him.

"Let's just head in that direction," Ohno said, in his calm way.

Nino moved first. He leveled both Sho and Jun with an exasperated expression as he passed, and Jun honestly didn't know who the brunt of his ire was directed at. Ohno followed, and then Aiba, who had more bounce in his step than Jun had seen for a long time.

Sho hung back, giving the inside of the crypt one last look-over.

"We couldn't have stayed forever," Jun said.

"No," Sho agreed. There was something in his tone that hit far beyond the safety concerns. "No, we couldn't have."

Jun didn't really know what else to say. He turned and followed Aiba, letting Sho close the heavy door behind him.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=15fqd83)

Jun had been to Chiba dozens of times. There were great beaches, and the surfing was top notch. He’d never really thought about how far away it was when the prefecture was so easily accessible by car or train. He and his high school friend Shun had strapped their boards to Shun’s car every summer and driven, spending hours riding the waves.

But Chiba was across the bay, distant and seemingly unreachable. There were no trains running now, and as far as Nino understood, the infected ones seemed to gravitate to train stations and depots, living off of the station lunch boxes until their lust for blood consumed them.

It could last days, this inhuman craving for the flesh of those still alive and healthy. Or it could only be a couple hours. Nino had made a flow chart, rudimentary at best – the infection affected people differently. Young people their age lasted longest. Older people and the weak had bursts of it before ending up like that one had in the park.

They starved to death. None of them had studied biology, but the virus seemed to affect the brain. Memories disappeared, almost as if that part of their minds had decayed entirely. The loss of that seemed to make them angry, and Jun almost sympathized. They didn’t know who they were any more. That was the anger that made them find each other, organize, trick people. They were lost.

As their brains died, they got worse. The anger became all-encompassing. They couldn’t talk like Kame, Nino had said with a shudder. They just howled, mourning what they’d lost – although they were so far gone that they didn’t even know WHAT they’d lost in the first place. All they knew was rage.

But the human body could only take so much. They broke down, all functions failing. Ohno had said it was like the lights were on but nobody was home. The lust and rage disappeared, leaving only a hollow, dying shell. Dead but still alive, Nino admitted. There was nothing left of their mind, and their body went on until starvation took them.

“So Chiba!” Nino said noisily, startling Jun from his thoughts. “Where again?”

They were still in the cemetery, backpacks full of food. They’d each taken turns using a few bottles of water each to rinse out their mouths and pour over themselves, but Jun still felt disgusting. Nino had set down the map Sho hadn’t torn up down on top of someone’s grave marker.

“Chiba City,” Aiba answered. “My family runs a restaurant there.”

“Oh, is it good?” Ohno asked.

Aiba blinked a few times before answering. The older man had a strange way of making conversation sometimes. As if the world hadn’t completely flipped around. As if they were going to Aiba’s home to have dinner together.. “Yeah,” Aiba replied, nodding. “Yeah, really good. It’s a Chinese restaurant. My dad’s the chef.”

“Chiba City,” Nino repeated, eyes scanning his map. “No good.”

“What do you mean no good?” Sho interrupted.

Nino thumped the map with his fist. “If we go north and follow the bay around, it’s no good. Roadblocks at Funabashi. They cut themselves off completely. There was a radio message about that weeks ago!”

“Well, we didn’t know about that,” Sho grumbled, only loud enough for Jun to hear.

“And going around to the north would be bad,” Ohno said. “Just wastes time.”

“So south then,” Aiba said, moving to Nino’s side and taking the map away. He was being far more bold than Jun had ever seen him – but the pull of family, the comforts of home – Jun understood. “We take the bridge.”

“You’re crazy!” Nino blurted.

“I’m not,” he replied. “Come here. Everyone, look, it’s really easy.” Jun exchanged a nervous glance with Sho. Aiba was getting too excited – he was going to put them all at risk. Hadn’t one of the Survivor Radio messages said not to go south?

“We’ll find a car, I know how to hotwire one. I think.” Just what did they teach the kids in Chiba, Jun wondered. “Anyhow, we go to Kawasaki. There’s the Tokyo Bay Aqua-Line. Go straight across the bay to Kisarazu, then take the highway up to Chiba City. It’s that easy.”

“Come in the back door,” Ohno mused, tapping his canoe paddle against another grave marker.

“That’s not easy, Masaki,” Sho complained. “That’s insane.”

Aiba ran his hand through his frizzy hair, letting out a moan of frustration. “I get it, okay? I get that it’s a long way and it’s going to be dangerous, but I can’t just…sit around here and bicker and eat cookies and live in a cemetery! I can’t do it! I’ll go by myself if I have to!” Jun had to look away as the other man’s eyes filled with tears. “If you think it’s too risky, I understand. But I have to see my family. So…I’m sorry, but I’m going!”

“Aiba,” Nino said quietly, reaching for his arm, but Aiba shoved him away pretty roughly.

“You’re not changing my mind!”

The five of them were quiet, tears streaming down Aiba’s cheeks that he didn’t bother to wipe away. Finally, the tension broke as Ohno picked up his backpack and started walking. “Let’s find a car. I’ll go with you, Aiba.”

Nino’s jaw dropped as Aiba gave Ohno a grateful smile and gathered his own things. Jun had voted to leave – he’d be breaking his word if he didn’t start walking himself. Sho looked almost resigned to it as Jun picked up his bag and his tennis racket, and he just sighed. They followed Aiba out of the cemetery, knowing that there was no turning back now.

\--

Cars were tricky.

The streets would be near impossible to navigate, the highways too. The first problem was how to even drive to Kawasaki from the middle of Tokyo. Cars had been abandoned by their owners in their haste to escape. Even now, the highway bridges over the city were packed with empty vehicles. They’d have to drive along the shoulder, weave amongst the neglected cars until they couldn’t move forward. Then they’d have to find another car to keep moving.

A journey that would take maybe an hour in low traffic would probably take them a day, easy. And that was assuming the cars they found had gas. Siphoning and filling gas tanks with sugar was one of the first “pranks” the infected had carried out. If they were doomed to die in Tokyo, then everyone else was granted the same privilege.

The same ones who’d rigged Tokyo Tower, subway cars, planes at Haneda and Narita, had left bombs on cars, triggered as soon as the ignition started.

The street just south of the cemetery had plenty of cars. The first few had less than a liter of gas left, and others had sugar just as Nino predicted. When they found another car a block south, Ohno had been brave (or oblivious) enough to crawl underneath. “Rigged,” he announced.

It took nearly an hour just to find something with about half a tank. Aiba knew the way and volunteered to drive. Nino insisted in sitting up front. Jun didn’t know if he was mad with Ohno for siding with Aiba or just didn’t feel like sharing the back seat with Sho. They didn’t have much room for their things since the trunk was tiny, and the three of them were packed like sardines in the back seat.

Jun’s legs were going to cramp, and Sho had gotten the unfortunate middle seat. The older man’s leg was warm as it bumped against his. “Sorry,” he muttered, and Sho said nothing. Aiba was fiddling with the wiring, and Jun braced himself against the door, expecting the car to explode. It didn’t. Instead it roared to life, and Aiba let out the same excited “I did it!” that he had when breaking into the door at the safety center.

“Kawasaki, here we come,” Ohno announced, staring out the car window as Aiba pulled away from the curb.

\--

9km had never felt like so long.

It was slow going- painfully slow, and bumpy whenever Aiba had to take the curb to get around abandoned vehicles. Jun was achingly glad it was daylight; in the tunnel, it was dark, but not as dark as it could have been with the absence of sunlight, and that was one thing he did not want to have to go through. His hips kept jostling against Sho's, thighs touching every time the car jumped the side and rolled along with one side elevated, and the older man kept twitching at the contact. Jun didn't know what that meant- and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

In the list of things he wasn't ready to face yet, Sho was near the top.

In the front seat, Nino was strangely silent. He seemed lost in thought- memories, maybe, if Jun wanted to venture a guess, which he didn't. Not after asking what Nino had been through prior to meeting him. Ohno was quiet, too, but his was more peaceful. Easy- natural. He seemed not to mind the bumping around in the backseat the three of them were doing with every hop of the car wheels.

Aiba was humming. If only his enthusiasm was infectious; Jun knew better. He knew better even if Aiba didn't, knew the things he himself hadn't really been able to wrap his head around yet. They probably wouldn't find anything, or worse yet, they would. People had been evacuated, and those infected hadn't stuck around their houses to mourn the impending loss of life. They were walking through a ghost world that had once been Japan.

The car hit a particularly large bump, and Aiba steered sharply around an overturned SUV, and Jun's fingers brushed against the back of Sho's wrist by accident. For once, Sho didn't pull away- but he did look over, eyes wide. There were a thousand emotions flickering across Sho's face, one after the other, all jumbled and messed, like he was trying to find the words. And Jun just stared at him because he couldn't look away, couldn't move- his fingers were lightly pressed against Sho's hand, and he kept them there, and Sho looked like he was going to say something-

-and Ohno suddenly tapped his finger against the glass, just as the car came out of the tunnel, to the overcast sky that stretched above the bay.

"Rest stop," he said, and Sho snatched his hand away to clasp his fingers together in his lap. "We should check the vending machines."

The white-washed walls of the rest stop looked incredibly isolated. There was no activity within it, no hustle of bodies in and out, and the parking lot was motionless. There were a scattering of abandoned vehicles there, and one truck that was turned completely on its side like it had been raided, but as Aiba pulled the car up to the front and put it in park, there was no sign of life.

Just like the rest of the country.

Ohno was already moving to open the door, canoe paddle in hand, and in the front seat, Nino was doing the same.

"Take anything that isn't rotten," Nino said. "Non-perishables. Smash open the fronts of the machines with whatever you have with you."

Jun's tennis racket felt heavy when he got out of the car. He watched Nino and Ohno enter the building first, bags already open and ready- they didn't waste time, those two. But the bay was eerily quiet, and Jun's heart was in his throat. The empty roads hadn't felt as threatening as the barren rest stop did.

He glanced behind the car as Sho pulled himself out, baseball bat included. In the back of the parking lot, there was a splash of yellow.

"The sooner we do this, the sooner we can get back on the road," Sho mumbled as he passed by Jun's shoulder, but Jun didn't really answer. His stomach was clenching tightly and painfully, making it difficult to form words. The air was heavy.

He heard glass shattering inside the rest stop as Ohno and Nino began pulling out bags of chips, candy bars, whatever they could find that wasn't spoiled. Aiba didn't bother to lock the car doors- it wasn't like they were worried about car thieves, being the very thing themselves. The bags were quickly filling with what was left from the machines- two had already been broken into, but it seemed that at least one had been untouched- and Jun hung back near the entrance.

Aiba glanced back over his shoulder at him. "You staying there?"

Past the wall and the letters on the brick, past the corner, there was something on the ground- something not building colored. Jun couldn't look away.

"Jun?" He ignored Aiba and began walking towards the corner, feet moving of their own accord. Behind him, Nino was kicking at the glass that had fallen when they'd broken the machine in, scraping it under the bottom as best he could. "Jun?"

It was a hand peeking out past the corner- a hand with short, pink nails that connected to an arm clad in a soft blue sweater. And still Jun kept moving towards it. He knew what he'd find- he'd known the second he'd seen it. But he had to know for sure; his heart was pounding in his chest so hard it hurt.

Footsteps behind him, and Sho's voice. "Jun?"

Jun halted the minute the body came into full view. It was a woman- or, had been a woman, anyway. She'd been wearing a blue sweater that was mostly crimson now, dried and dark against the paleness of her skin. Her eyes were closed, and Jun was thankful for that, because he didn't want to see her unfocused, unseeing eyes staring up at the sky. Had she been conscious as she died? Had she been alive when they ripped her leg off and devoured half her other arm?

The acidic stench of blood and bile met his nose.

Sho made a gagging noise behind him, but Jun couldn't really focus on it. Everything was starting to coil together and his nerves were going into overdrive. The air was heavy- the yellow at the back of the parking lot-

"We can't stay here," he gasped, as Sho covered his mouth with his hand, staring at the body below. "We- we can't stay here."

Panic was gripping his system, flooding his veins- everything was hot and cold at the same time, burning and scalding all at once. He wanted to run but he couldn't get his legs to move. Sho's hand was on his shoulder, pulling him back, and he stumbled.

"Come on, let's just-" Sho was saying, trying to stay calm, trying to stay rational. Jun heard the waver in his voice, he just couldn’t focus on it. The air was so heavy, so still- too still.

_The air was too still._

"We have to go," Jun nearly wept. He was struggling just to breathe. "We have to go, we have to go!"

His feet finally moved- he broke away from Sho's grasp and just ran, ran for the car. He didn't get very far before he heard them behind him; the scream pierced the stillness like a bolt of lightning, like a thunderclap pounding over head, inhuman and hoarse. Inside the rest stop, Nino let out a sharp cry, and Jun could hear soles squealing against glass shards on the ground. Aiba shouted something- Jun couldn't pick it up over the noise- and there were clangs on the metal staircases, so many of them, so many footsteps slamming against the platforms.

He looked back- he didn't know why.

There were so many of them, and Sho didn't have the head start Jun did. He was running, but not fast enough; they'd caught him too off-guard. And Jun skidded to a stop without really realizing it, because they were on Sho's heels like a pack of wolves, like a horde of dogs with red stains around their mouths and skin falling off their fingers.

Tiny fingers. Tiny, tiny fingers-

One of them dove at Sho. They were surprisingly fast for children, but the one who lunged seemed to be losing some of the motor functions in his leg. The infected child fell with an anguished howl, and Sho tripped over his outstretched arm. Jun surged forward with his tennis racket firmly in one hand. The child was still screaming, still shrieking, and he was reaching for Sho, _he was reaching for Sho_ -

Jun slammed him with the tennis racket, and tried very, very hard not to watch where the bits of skin landed several feet away. He grabbed Sho's arm roughly and hauled him upwards- Sho was clutching his head, eyes squeezed shut. He'd hit his head on the ground. It was bleeding- Jun could see the blood leaking out past Sho's fingers- but not too much.

They didn't have time. The children were swarming behind them, screaming and giggling and reaching for them. Jun saw Aiba at the corner of his vision swinging his golf club at one.

"Get in the car!" Nino hollered, over the din of cackling laughter and rattling shrieks. "Get in the car!"

"Run," Jun hissed, half dragging Sho behind him. The older man seemed confused, disoriented, but at least he got his legs moving. They were close to the car. They just had to make it inside. Ohno threw the door open for them and whacked another body with his paddle. The blood hit the side of the car, dark against the dirty white paint.

Jun all but threw Sho inside the car, hurtling himself in afterwards. Aiba was launching himself into the driver's seat, and Nino was rounding the front still yelling, and Ohno ended up nearly on top of Jun by the time he slammed the door shut.

Hands hit the windows. They surrounded the car, slamming against the glass and howling, everywhere, everywhere- they were completely covering the vehicle. One of them was crawling up the hood with skin missing from her cheeks. Jun threw his hands over his ears, but he couldn't block the sound.

In the front seat, Nino- clever, brave, sarcastic Nino- was making strangled whimpering noises into his palms.

"Go," Ohno breathed, and for once, he sounded rattled- genuinely rattled. "Aiba, drive!"

But Aiba was fumbling with the wires, hands shaking too badly to get the colored strands to line up again. "I- I can't-"

"Aiba!" Ohno ordered, in a way that left no room for argument. It couldn't have helped Aiba's nerves. Palms were hitting the window near Sho's head, and there were drips of red against the glass. Jun choked back a racking sob of terror, pressing in against Sho, who was still bewildered and out of it.

The engine roared to life, and Aiba hit the gas with so much force the tires squealed.

No one uttered a word, even after the screams and slaps had fallen away behind them, not even when they got across the bridge to Kisarazu to find the streets deserted and empty. Nino just kept whimpering, and Sho was shaking, and Ohno was biting his bottom lip so hard Jun swore it was going to draw blood.

"Apartment," Ohno said, when they got onto streets with buildings lining them rather than the waves of the bay. "Find something high- don't have to worry about blocking windows."

It was a smart move- the sun was setting. They didn't have time for much else, and Jun couldn't stop trembling had they wanted to do anything else anyway.

Aiba stopped the car in front of a high-rise. Ohno was the first one out, rounding the car with quickness to open the passenger side door. It didn't seem Nino was going to manage to get out on his own; Ohno's arms wrapped around him, pulling him across the seat and up and over the threshold.

Jun just tried to regulate his own breathing and get his limbs working again.

Nino was making choking noises into Ohno's shoulder. "Kazu," Ohno said, softly, and his hands were on the side of Nino's face, brushing across skin. "Kazu-"

"Ow," Sho said, beside Jun, and Jun quickly looked away from the pair beyond the window. Felt wrong to be watching.

"What now?" Aiba asked. He no longer sounded optimistic. "What- where do we go?"

"Up," Ohno said, and he sounded very tired. "We go up."


	7. Chapter 7

They were on the tenth floor of the apartment building, and Jun’s legs still ached from climbing all the way up them. The building was deserted, thanks to the bodies in the front lobby. The infected people had already come and gone. But still, they’d pushed a dresser out of one abandoned apartment, using it to cover the door that led to the stairwell and took bookcases to cover the elevator doors in case anything decided to climb the cable.

There was no power, but there was still water. But before he’d gone to wash his face, Ohno had stopped him. “We don’t know if it’s in the water or not.”

Satoshi went with him through the building, finding bottled water in some of the other apartments that hadn’t been raided. Although there were a dozen apartments on the floor, the five of them stayed in one – to separate would be too risky.

Aiba was in one of the bedrooms with Sho, patching up the cut on his head as best they could with their rudimentary first aid kit. Apparently, Aiba had suffered a concussion while on the basketball team in high school and knew what to look for – so far it didn’t seem like Sho would suffer any permanent trauma.

Nino took a few bottles of water and hit the washroom first. There’d been a family living here, Jun discovered, absent-mindedly poking through magazines on their coffee table. There were still plates of food on the dinner table for a family of four, but he and Satoshi tossed it all in a garbage bag since there were bugs living off of it.

The space was now fairly habitable for the night. Ohno gave Jun a nod before following Nino into what had been the master bedroom. Aiba came out into the living room where Jun was waiting. “He doesn’t have any amnesia. He took some aspirin for the headache, but I don’t think it’s a concussion. But if anything changes, just wake me up.”

The plan was to leave for Chiba City as soon as they could in the morning. It was only 8:00 now, and he wasn’t tired. There was no way he’d be able to sleep as long as he remembered the rest stop. The group of school children, the high-pitched noises they’d made. These were the people the government had abandoned – innocent children, turned monstrous and savage.

Aiba was exhausted, though, after a difficult day of weaving the car around obstacles and getting them to Kisarazu in one piece. He headed for the family’s couch, flopping down. “Wake me around 1:00. That should be fair.”

“Sure.”

Nino and Ohno hadn’t volunteered themselves to keep watch over Sho – Nino probably because he wasn’t that concerned about an outsider, and Ohno probably because Nino needed him too much. Aiba was curled up, almost in a ball, when Jun left the apartment’s living room, sliding open the second bedroom door.

Sho was in one of the children’s beds, looking rather cramped. He was on his side, bandage wrapped around his wound with bits of black hair poking out in every which direction while one of his legs stuck out over the bottom of the bed.

Jun sat down on the floor, moving the little boy’s toy truck out of the way. Sho was breathing evenly, and at least he was able to sleep after everything that had happened. He crossed his legs, letting moonlight stream in through the window. Were people living in his own home now? Taking his things and throwing them away or scavenging them to survive?

The minutes passed slowly as he looked around the bedroom, eyes darting to Sho’s sleeping form. Sho probably would be pissed off to know Jun was in there with him, watching him sleep. But he wouldn’t know, and if the past month had made anything clear to Jun, it was that he and Sho had some unresolved things to deal with.

Being on the run, trying to survive while people clawed at you, children even – yeah, perfect time to wonder what the hell there was between himself and his senpai. They’d been closer, ever since they’d gotten out of the safety center. Sho didn’t look as embarrassed when their eyes met now, at least not as much. And Sho was always the first one to keep him sane when the world continued to show its ugly new face.

It was probably the stress of the situation, he told himself. They were in a crisis, the both of them. It was no use mistaking Sho’s concern for something more. What happened in his dorm room all those months ago was in the past. Sho had clearly been drunk and had woken up ashamed. But Jun had wanted him then. So badly.

He wondered if he’d ever stopped wanting him.

Jun sighed quietly, changing position to pull his knees up to his chest. He took his glasses off, setting them down on the rug beside him. It was pointless. Sho had made his feelings known quite plainly – he wasn’t there the next day when Jun woke up. But their close quarters the past few weeks had been impossible to ignore – sharing bed space, helping one another out. Sho was a comfort when Jun had nothing else. It was hard to stifle it now when he was alone in his mind.

Sho was inches away, moving in his sleep. His lips moved, but Jun couldn’t understand if was talking or not. The blanket shifted as Sho moved onto his back, his t-shirt riding up. Jun had to look away, seeing the slightest hint of toned skin. He shut his eyes. It wasn’t bad enough that a group of school kids had nearly taken Sho away from him that afternoon – now he had Sho all alone, within reaching distance, and Jun couldn’t do anything.

He moved onto his back, pulling a pillow from the other child’s bed. Even though he hadn’t wanted to sleep, he did, not waking until he heard it.

It was coming from the other bedroom, and the walls were thinner than Jun had realized. They’d waited until everyone was most likely asleep. Aiba was probably still passed out on the couch, would be until Jun had to shake him awake. Sho was on his stomach now, pillow over his head.

Only Jun could hear, and he wondered if Nino knew or cared. It made sense, in a way, Jun realized. It had been a harrowing day – and Nino had been really shaken up. They all had been, but today was the first time Jun had seen Nino really showing his fear. Satoshi had had to nearly drag him up to the apartment. Jun didn’t know enough about what the two of them had faced while he’d been in the safety center.

Seeking comfort in someone else, especially in a time like this, was only common sense. And it was Jun who wasn’t sleeping. It was Jun who was listening in, hearing the bed just on the other side of the wall as it creaked. It was something private, something that was none of his business. There was a moan, noisy enough that whoever had done so hadn’t tried to hide it.

Jun thumped his head back against the pillow, willing himself to try and sleep again. The noise continued in the other bedroom, the headboard hitting the wall and still Sho didn’t stir. He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Sho. It’d been months since Jun had been with anyone – in fact, the last person had been Sho himself.

He ignored the noises, but his mind was too active, his memory too keen. The sounds from the other bedroom flooded his ears, mingling with what Jun remembered from that one damned night. He could smell Sho in the bed behind him, recalled the same scent mingling with smoke from that bar they’d spent too long at. Remembered how Sho’s muscles had felt under his fingertips, how his senpai had gasped when Jun’s hand had slipped into his boxers for the first time.

He couldn’t stay in here. Nino and Ohno continued, not even masking their sounds of pleasure, the need for release – letting go of stress with one another. Jun was hard as he clumsily got to his feet. It was 2:00 AM according to the Sanrio character clock near the child’s bed, and he groaned as he stood, the fabric of his jeans shifting.

Aiba. He had to get Aiba so he wouldn’t do something he’d regret with Sho just so close. He kept the pillow with him, hoping it looked like he was carrying it out with him naturally as he slid the bedroom door back open. He shook Aiba from sleep, saying very little as he got up.

There was a gasp from the master bedroom, audible throughout the apartment, and Aiba just snorted. “Can’t blame them,” was all Aiba said before getting off the couch and heading in to keep an eye on Sho.

Jun exhaled, lying back on the couch. He couldn’t control himself, hastily tugging a box of tissue from the coffee table as he hastily unzipped his jeans. He closed his eyes, letting the memories of being with Sho take over. It was just going to make things all the more awkward between them, wouldn’t it? But he didn’t care, remembering how Sho had touched him, how Sho’s breath had hitched when he came in Jun’s hand. The sensation built, months of trying to forget ignored, as he worked his hand up and down feverishly.

Sho’s hands, Sho’s lips, the piercings in his ear – the one nobody probably knew about in his belly button. “Senpai,” he whispered in the dark, no longer caring about where he was. “Sho, oh god, Sho.” He came, out of breath, the cry he wanted to let out getting lost in his throat.

He lay there for a few minutes, trying to remember how to breathe as his body shook. It was hot in this room. Too hot. He cleaned up, tossing the tissues in the kitchen trash can. And not a moment too soon. He was just getting back to the couch when the bedroom door slid open, and Sho emerged.

Jun was still sweating, and he froze. But Sho just came over, holding out his hand. “You left your glasses in there.”

He took them, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking. “Thanks.”

“Didn’t want Aiba rolling over and smashing them.”

“Right.” He rolled onto his stomach, setting the glasses down on the coffee table. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts. But I’ll be alright. All things considered.”

“That’s good.” There was still noise from the other bedroom, and Sho soon deduced what it was.

“Think I’ll go back to sleep. You’re okay out here?”

“Be fine.”

Sho’s eyes darted to the other bedroom door, and he looked far more uncomfortable than Aiba had. “Well, good night.”

“Night.”

Jun shoved his face into the pillow as soon as Sho disappeared into the other bedroom, trying not to scream.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=xmoj91)

They reached Aiba's house by midday when the sun was high overhead.

Jun's stomach instantly fell to his feet- there were boards over the windows. He'd never been to the house before and he still knew the wood shouldn't have been there. He could see Aiba bristle as he threw the car in park and knocked the wires loose that kept it running. Something was wrong, something had happened.

Aiba was out of the car immediately, at the front door and rattling the handle. It was locked. He pounded on it a few times before moving to one of the windows and trying to pull the board off with his fingers- Jun could hear nails scraping against the grain. It was too much and not enough, and Aiba was already panicked, Jun could see it written all over the man's face-

"Stop, stop," Sho said, touching Aiba's shoulder. "Don't use your hands."

Nino and Ohno hung back, by the side of the car. Jun wasn't entirely sure what to make of them; neither had seemed at all embarrassed at the fact that everyone had clearly heard them last night, and Jun wasn't even sure it mattered to him anymore. It didn't, really- there was just a little jealous ache there that they had each other in the midst of everything, and resignation that Jun was having trouble swallowing down.

Sho handed Aiba what appeared to be a screwdriver- where he'd found that, Jun would never know, and didn't care to ask- and together they peeled the boards off the window one by one, breaking the grain away with force that sprayed ash and dust into the air around them, hanging like a sick cloud and reflecting the sun.

The window was open, and Aiba was already moving inside, but Sho's hands were on his arms. "Wait, Aiba, wait-"

"They might be in there!" Aiba said. The emotion was so thick in his tone that Jun nearly choked on it himself- he couldn't bring himself to move closer yet. And Sho's hands were gentle, guiding, pulling him backwards away from the window.

"They might be," Sho replied, softly. There was a long moment when the meaning sunk in, and Aiba's eyes went wide. "Let me go first, okay?"

Neither of the two still by the car tried to stop them- did they know it was a lost cause? Did they know that Aiba would go in no matter what awaited him there? Neither Nino nor Ohno looked comfortable, or happy to be there; Nino's hand kept straying to brush against the back of Ohno's fingers, like a reassuring graze to convince himself that the other man was still there. They looked tense- expectant.

They'd done it before.

Sho crawled in through the window, avoiding a lamp near to the back of the couch, and unlocked the door from the inside. When the portal swung open, Jun glanced at Ohno, who just nodded slowly. They followed Aiba inside.

There wasn't any movement within the house, and no sign of anyone, but it also didn't look like there'd been a struggle. Everything was still in place, decor unmoved and furniture tidy. It looked empty and deserted- but Jun knew better. It had been boarded; one didn't board an empty house when the threat was against lives, not material things. He stayed near the back of the living room as Sho moved to a room off the side of the hall that was shut.

Jun knew. He knew as soon as he heard Sho's sharp intake of breath. But Aiba didn't, Aiba's eyes were still hopeful, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He glared down at his shoes until Sho came back out and closed the door behind him. The older man looked ashen and weary.

"Aiba," he started, and that's when Aiba lost it. He launched himself at the door, half hitting Sho in the process. "Aiba, don't-"

"Let me in," Aiba cried out, clawing at Sho's shoulders. "Let me in, let me see-"

"Let him go," Nino said, from Jun's right. It didn't sound mean. It sounded more like a plea than a command, a sad acceptance.

And Sho stepped aside, with a single glance at the three still standing in the back, allowing Aiba passage in.

Jun didn't go forward. He didn't need to see- didn't want to see. It was far more private than the headboard knocking against the wall last night had been, far more private than the shared glances and fumbling fingers of the two standing next to him were. Ohno started moving around the room, checking in drawers, and Jun felt anger welling in his throat.

"Stop it," he hissed, because he didn't know how much Aiba could hear in the other room. "You can't raid this. You have no fucking soul if-"

Ohno pulled a paper off of the fridge that was held in place with a red magnet and held it up. He didn't look angry at the affront against his character. He started to read the writing scrawled across the paper as he walked back towards Jun and Nino. "May 7th. We have been kept safe in the Aiba household for a three weeks after the infection started in the area. There are thirteen of us here. We have not had contact with the outside since isolating the house."

Sho moved over a bit, to hear what Ohno was reading. "We hear them outside, but none have gotten in. Food is running low, and we cannot pick up anything on the radio. We know what awaits us outside."

There was a noise from the room Aiba had disappeared into, and all four heads snapped up to look. Aiba didn't emerge, so Ohno looked back down to the letter to continue reading.

"We do not wish to attack other people, or succumb to the infection. If you find this note, this serves as our agreement and affirmation that it was our choice to avoid end up falling prey to them. You will find that it has been signed by all thirteen of us."

Ohno stopped reading and held it up- there were thirteen signatures across the bottom of the page. Jun let out a long, slow, shaky breath. For a very long time, the four of them stood in a half-circle, not speaking. There wasn't anything to say, and Jun wasn't sure he wanted to try.

Aiba emerged from the back room. There was nothing on his face- absolutely nothing. Jun couldn't read a single thing on his features. He didn't say anything, and just started up the stairs to the second story. Sho glanced at Nino, who gave a little nod. "We should bury the bodies."

"You-" Jun started, and then stopped, because his throat was clogged with too much.

"Should be done," Nino said shortly. He and Sho moved together towards the half-open door. Jun stared at the doorframe for a long time after they disappeared inside, unsure what to think, what to do- what could he do? The situation was screaming around him, and he felt like he was trapped in molasses, unable to function.

After several achingly long minutes, there was a touch to his elbow- Ohno. "Don't be mad."

The comment seemed to be aimed at Nino. Jun swallowed hard, and Ohno gave him a sad sort of smile. "He did the same thing."

The missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle. There was a reason Nino and Ohno had hung back upon arrival- they did know. They knew exactly what could and would be found inside, but they knew that it had to be discovered on its own. Jun wondered if Nino had been forced to dig the graves himself. He felt a surge of quiet admiration towards the shorter man; he wouldn't say anything about knowing. Some things were best left unspoken.

Jun looked up towards the stairs Aiba had taken, feeling like his heart was breaking in his chest. "I'm going to make sure he's okay."

"Good," Ohno agreed, and his fingers fell away from Jun's arm. Jun took the stairs two at a time, and found Aiba easily once he reached the landing at the top. The other man was sitting on a bed inside a small bedroom, knees pulled up close to his chest, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Jun rapped his knuckles once against the door, but didn't pause before going inside.

Aiba didn't say anything. Jun slid onto the bed beside him, and wrapped his arms around Aiba's shoulders.

"They were heroes," he whispered against the other man's temple. "You hear me? They kept people safe, kept them alive. They didn't give in like everyone else did. They fought. And they won."

The shoulders beneath his arms started to shake, and Aiba twisted in Jun's embrace so that his face was mashed against Jun's shoulder.

"Masaki," Jun said.

"My family," Aiba sobbed against Jun's shirt. His hands moved to wrap around Jun's chest, fingers clutching desperately at the fabric against Jun's back. "Jun-"

"I know," Jun breathed, and didn't even try to stave off the sting in his own eyes. "I know."

For a very long time, they sat rocking against each other, Jun holding Aiba so tightly he wondered if the other man could even breathe. He was afraid that if he let go, Aiba would disappear- that he'd fall away and collapse on himself and cease being Aiba anymore. He couldn't bear that. Jun refused to give Aiba up, not to this, not to the world- he'd keep holding on until his fingers bled, and he wouldn't stop then.

Aiba was too bright. Aiba was light and hope and Jun would cling to that for as long as he possibly could.

"We're your family now," he cried, against Aiba's hair, bangs catching on the wet streaks on his face. He didn't know anymore which tears were his, and which weren't. They all mingled together, especially when he brushed aside hair with his fingertips from Aiba's face.

Aiba's arms tightened a bit around Jun's chest. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"They were heroes, weren't they?" Aiba whispered.

Jun kissed his forehead. "Just like you, Masaki."

Aiba pulled back a bit, and wiped at his face with the back of his hands. His eyes were red and swollen, cheeks puffy, but the spark was still there. Jun would fight anything to get it back all the way again- lungs burning, limbs shaking, he would fight.

"What should-?" Aiba asked, unable to finish.

"Nino and Sho are digging," Jun said as gently as he possibly could. He saw the fresh wave of tears, but there was a grim nod. "You don't have to-"

"I want to," Aiba interrupted. "I want to, I should."

He untangled his limbs and got up from the bed. He was shaky- Jun could see his legs nearly give out, but he stayed upright. With one hand on the wall, Aiba made his way down the staircase, leaving Jun alone on the comforter wet with the salty bitterness of tears. He stayed there for awhile, staring down at the stitching on the blanket.

Finally, he moved to follow Aiba's path down the stairs. The other four were in the backyard, shovels crunching against dirt and rock, and Jun only got one foot out the backdoor before there was a hand in the crook of his elbow pulling him to the side, over and around the the corner of the house to the cool shadows of the small alleyway there.

His back hit the siding. For what felt like ages, Sho just stared at him, eyes wide and searching. Jun could barely breathe, especially when Sho's hands found the sides of his face, brushing across skin there with the barest of touches. Sho's thumb skimmed under Jun's eye, to the tears that were still caught there.

And then Sho sighed, moving his arms around Jun's shoulders and pulling him in. He was warm- warm and comforting, both familiar and unknown, and Jun just wrapped his arms around Sho's chest to bury his face against his chest. Sho's hands had the same neediness, the same pull at Jun's shirt that Aiba's had- and yet not. It was different, infinitely so, wrapped up in something on the other side of the sphere that Jun couldn't quite touch yet.

Sho kissed Jun's shoulder, his neck, and then pulled back just enough so that he could find Jun's mouth. The kisses were nothing like the heady, frenzied ones they'd shared in Jun's dorm room that fateful night- they were languid, unhurried. Done with deliberateness. Jun sighed against Sho's mouth, even as Sho disentangled himself and pressed one last kiss to the side of Jun's lips.

Their foreheads met, and Jun unhooked his arms to touch Sho's shoulders, the front of his shirt, his neck- anything. He just wanted to feel the realness beneath his fingers.

"We should go help," Sho whispered. But doing so required moving, and Jun couldn't do it yet- his brain couldn't catch up, couldn't process. Everything was coming back in a hot rush and it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else. He leaned in to kiss Sho again, just once, just once more before they left the sanctuary of the shadows.

Sho sighed again, fingers tangling a bit in Jun's hair. "Everyone is waiting."

"Okay," Jun said. He reluctantly let his hands fall back down to his sides. "Let's go. Aiba needs us."

Sho gave him one last look, the tiniest, barest hint of a smile on his lips, and they stepped back out into the sunlight to grab for the shovels and help dig.

\--

It was strange, laying people he didn’t know to rest. He’d been to wakes and funerals for his grandparents, family friends, neighbors. But this was different. These bodies were buried with their own hands – there was no cremation, no ashes or bones. But leaving them alone in the house would have been inhuman.

His arms ached from digging, from picking up people they’d hastily covered in white tablecloths from the restaurant attached to Aiba’s home. It was nearly dark, and they were finally done. But they couldn’t stay here. Thirteen people had taken their lives here, Aiba’s family among them.

Nino was in the kitchen of the restaurant, seeing what little food remained. For once, he’d actually been respectful, waiting for Aiba’s permission before scavenging. Ohno was with Aiba, digging through photo albums. Even if there’d been no funeral, even if Aiba would probably never be able to return to this house again, he wasn’t going to leave just yet.

He passed from the restaurant’s kitchen and into the family’s home, seeing Aiba adding the photographs to the family altar with a shaking hand. Ohno sat by his side, hands pressed together to offer silent prayer for people he hadn’t known either. Jun handed the can of beer he’d grabbed from the restaurant to Aiba.

“Thanks,” Aiba said, smiling weakly. “This was dad’s favorite.” Jun did his best to hold back tears as Aiba set the beer down beside his father’s picture, running his fingers across the man’s smiling face. Aiba’s family was luckier than most – they were being remembered, respected. Jun pressed his hands together and offered a prayer of his own – hoping that if they’d met the same fate, his own family was at peace.

Sho returned to the house a few minutes later, bat balanced against his shoulder. Jun met his gaze freely now, gaining strength from it. Nino emerged from the restaurant, quieter than he’d been all day. Sho waited for Aiba to rise from kneeling before the altar before speaking.

“There’s an apartment building at the end of your block. Seems clear.”

Aiba nodded. “Of course. I’ll…” He turned back, eyes lingering on the newly added photographs of his family. “We should stay there.” His voice trailed off, and Ohno stood, putting his arm around him.

“Take all the time you need, Masaki. We’ll wait.”

Jun looked away. Seeing the smiling faces, remembering the picture of his own parents he still had with him – it was enough to make him feel sick. He walked over to Nino, holding out a hand. “Let me help you carry that.”

The other man just nodded, handing over the half-empty case of bottled water he’d found. Having the bit of weight in his arms helped, letting him focus on his sore muscles. The four of them headed outside, giving Aiba a final few minutes to say goodbye.

When he finally emerged from the house, they set off for the apartment block. The building wasn’t as high as the one they’d stayed in Kisarazu, but it would be protected enough if they took the same precautions. Ohno and Nino walked ahead, Aiba leading the way to the new building. The usual bounce in his step was gone, and Jun hoped that some day he’d get it back.

Sho fell into step beside him, and they stayed back from the others. He wasn’t going to get away this time, Jun vowed. “Think we’ve got some things to talk about,” he said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he balanced the water in his other arm.

“You think so?” But there was no malice in Sho’s voice – it was the same jokey tone he always took when he was nervous. The timing had been strange, but at the same time, it had felt so right. And Sho had made the first move. Sho had wanted him, needed him just as much.

He shifted the water. “You have really terrible timing, Senpai.” It had been a horrible day. A little lightness wouldn’t hurt. And Jun could still taste Sho on his lips, the old tarnished memories replaced with something that seemed more meaningful.

“Yeah, I know.” They entered the new building, stepping over bodies in the entryway. It was getting easier to move past them now, knowing that the presence of the deceased meant that the lost ones would stay away. Like the angel of death would pass over them, at least for a few hours. He hoped.

He heard Aiba and the others stomping up the stairs a few floors up already. They’d really fallen behind. Jun felt his heart start to race – they were alone and whatever tension between them had changed. It wasn’t the nervous sidestepping and avoidance that had characterized their behavior since they’d been in the safety center. It was different. All he knew was that the world had gone mad, they were in a fight for their lives, and Sho wanted him.

Jun halted his progress at the top of the first stairwell, the orange glow of the apartment building’s emergency lights casting a strange glow on Sho a few stairs below. “Could we talk?”

Sho looked up at him, looking fairly uncomfortable. “Now?”

“Yes, now.” He wasn’t going to be able to run this time. In the morning, Jun would wake up and Sho wouldn’t disappear. “Is there a problem?”

His senpai just nodded, sitting down on the steps and leaning his back against the stairwell wall. “They’ll notice we’re gone.”

“So?”

Jun could even tell in the low light that Sho’s cheeks were turning pink. “Don’t want them to worry that’s all.”

He sat down, setting the water behind him on the landing. Sho was tapping out a nervous rhythm on his knees while Jun’s pulse rushed. “So what uncomfortable topic would you like to start with?”

“I get choices?”

He nodded. This had been a long time coming, hadn’t it? It was strange to sit in the stairwell of an abandoned building, knowing that death was around the corner, and just talk about whatever the hell was going on between them. But didn’t they need this? Didn’t this remind them that they were still human?

“We can tackle what just happened back there, or you could tell me why you left after…” He was almost grateful Nino wasn’t here to watch this. The guy would be having a field day at their expense. “After finals.”

Sho sighed, running his hands through his hair and mussing it. “I was horrible, I’m sorry.” Well, he’d chosen the second topic of contention. Sho always selected his words carefully, as if he was preparing for some interview rather than just chatting with someone. But Jun expected it. “I was your tutor, okay? It wasn’t appropriate.”

“You weren’t being paid to teach me macro.”

“Yeah, I know.” He made a little frustrated noise, low in his throat, and Jun had to focus his attention elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sho’s hands on his face, holding him close. Jun was craving the attention, the human contact.

“Were you embarrassed? Ashamed?”

Sho considered it. “I don’t know. I was hungover.”

“Liar.”

“I was!” Sho vowed. “But ashamed, no. No, I wouldn’t say that. I just…”

“You left,” Jun reminded him. “You didn’t even say goodbye or that you regretted it or that it never happened. How else was I supposed to react?”

Sho looked at him sadly. “You didn’t have to change majors.”

He laughed. “I thought you hated me, senpai. That I really sucked in bed or something.”

“No!” Sho answered, almost too quickly, and Jun laughed again. It felt good to laugh after all they’d been through. His expression changed, more embarrassed than ever. “You definitely didn’t suck.” The stairwell was really hot. The building’s air circulation had to be damaged. That had to be it. Sho took a breath and met his gaze. “I wasn’t ashamed. Or embarrassed. Not really.”

“Then what?” His breath caught.

Sho set the baseball bat on the stair below him, moving forward to pull himself up the remaining steps that separated them. He was kneeling between Jun’s legs, a hand on either side of his hips. He wanted to bridge the distance between them, could already feel Sho’s nervous breaths against his face.

“I was scared. That I…” Sho closed his eyes, looking incredibly troubled. “I was scared about what I was feeling. For you. I was supposed to be helping you, and I got selfish.”

The more nervous he got, the more he tended to try and play it cool. But his voice was shaky when he lifted his hands from his lap and settled them on either side of Sho’s waist, to keep him steady and to feel the warmth of him under his fingertips. “You should be selfish more often. I didn’t mind it then. Or now.”

“But I realized something,” Sho admitted, leaning closer. “It was ridiculous to be scared. This isn’t so scary. What’s happening now, out there…that’s what’s scary.”

Jun closed the gap, covering Sho’s mouth with his own. His senpai was right – compared to the horrors that awaited them out in the world, all the death and misery, this wasn’t scary at all. This felt right. There was no alcohol to influence their behavior now, no grief wrapping around them and squeezing them together. This was all of their own volition. It was what their bodies wanted. What Jun’s heart and his mind wanted.

He tightened his grip on Sho’s t-shirt, letting his feelings come through with every brush of his lips and gasp for air. These weren’t relief-driven actions now – it was pure selfishness. He wanted to memorize everything. He let his fingers slip under the soft fabric of the shirt, finding skin he’d only really felt once before. This time he’d commit it to his memory.

The lost ones forgot – Jun would remember.

Sho lost his balance on his knees pretty quickly, tumbling forward to push Jun back onto the landing. He felt the air leave his lungs with a whoosh.

“Sorry.”

He grunted. “You’ve got your elbow on my spleen or something.”

Sho laughed, moving aside. “I said I was sorry.” He stood, holding out a hand for Jun which he took. There was a clap of thunder, and it nearly shook the whole building. Sho looked a bit shaken, but he went back to retrieve his bat. “Better a storm than people charging up the stairs, right?”

Jun nodded, hoisting the water. He really didn’t want to go upstairs yet, not now that he and Sho had sorted things out. Now they knew what each other wanted, craved. It would be difficult to focus. Ohno and Nino’s attitude, the way they didn’t shy away from expressing what they felt made a lot more sense. When you lost nearly everything, what remained became more precious.

He nearly stumbled when Sho tapped him on the ass with the baseball bat before hurrying up the stairs. Jun could only grin. They’d get through this, him and Sho. Hell, all five of them. They’d make it through. Together.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2418pp2)

By the time Sho and Jun reached the apartment the others had deemed acceptable, the thunder was shaking the entire building.

Nino was hunched over what looked to be an ancient old radio when they entered, fiddling with the dials. He looked up when they entered, and Jun saw Sho freeze; he expected something. A jeer, a quip, something- but Nino just sort of smiled and didn't say anything, going back to working on the dust-covered radio, and Sho's shoulders relaxed. Ohno was at the counter in the kitchens, pulling out drawer after drawer. There was probably nothing still un-spoiled in the refrigerator, but the cabinets might net a few prizes.

Aiba was on a small futon, hands clasped between his knees. Jun set the water down on the table, and went over to him, sliding down next to him to put an arm around his shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asked, in what he hoped was a low enough tone that the others couldn't hear. Aiba was shaking, but there weren't any more tears- yet, anyway. It was a stupid question. Jun had never figured out anything better to ask when it was obvious that things were so very, very far from okay.

"No," Aiba said, honestly, shaking his head. He leaned into Jun's embrace, which was a bit promising. "But maybe eventually."

Jun squeezed his shoulder. He'd give what he could, but there was so much of the sorrow that he couldn't touch, couldn't ever come close to helping.

"We care about you," he said. It was sappy, and clichéd, but at the moment, all that seemed kind of appropriate. And Aiba sniffed, and Jun could see the other man's eyes getting watery again, so he hoped it brought a tiny bit of relief.

There was a long period of quiet, with just the static from the radio hissing through the air, and drawers being opened and closed in the kitchen.

"Anything?" Sho asked.

Ohno slid another drawer shut with a shake of his head. He moved to the door, locking it and setting the deadbolt in place. There was another peal of thunder overhead, so loud that it shook the floor beneath Jun's feet. It was eerie- felt just like the horror movies Jun had never been a fan of. It made Aiba shake more, so Jun tightened his hold around the other man's shoulders to compensate.

"Wait," Nino said, suddenly, and hit the volume dial up. For a second, all Jun could hear was the roar of static, and then, faintly, overlapped with white noise, he heard a voice cutting through the fog. Just a bit- not enough to discern words, but human. Definitely a person- or what used to be a person.

Nino shared a glance with Ohno- something crackled in the air between them, mirroring the lightning flashing outside the windows.

"Can you turn it up?" Sho asked, darting forward. Even from the futon, Jun could see Sho's hands shaking against the counter. "Can you get it clearer?"

"I don't-" Nino started, and frowned, cutting himself off. He leaned forward and tried playing with several more dials. Jun couldn't believe such an old piece of junk was picking up anything- but maybe that was the trick.

Maybe falling back on things deemed 'archaic' was the way to slip underneath the radar of those infected who were still coherent and bent on taking everyone else down with them.

The static grew louder, filling the room, and Jun could hear more of the discombobulated voice.

"-transmission. If you---- boats. Meet the guides if----- location."

"Boats?" Ohno whispered. Jun unconsciously shifted nearer to the counter and radio, as if he could pick out more just by the inch he gained moving forward. The message was horribly static-laced, but there all the same.

"--2359 15-- beach line-"

Sho was suddenly grappling through drawers, pulling through things without regard to what they were. "Address," he hissed. "That's an address."

"-the boats. Guides-- Kujukuri Town."

The message was overcome with static, too much to even hear the voice anymore, even as Sho scribbled down what he could on the back of a bill he'd found in the nearest drawer beneath the counter. All five waited for more, but nothing came. Just static, and the continued rumble of thunder.

Nino hit the volume dial back down, brow furrowed.

"There are boats?" Ohno said again, louder this time. "In Kujukuri Town?"

"It could be a trap," Nino said instantly.

Outside, there were three consecutive flashes of lightning, sharp and bright. They illuminated the far wall and made eerie looking light patterns against the paint, throwing the faces of those standing in the kitchen into sharp relief. Aiba seemed to hunch down over himself, and Jun squeezed the other man's shoulder again. He didn't have too much strength to give- the storm was sending prickles of nervous energy down his arms.

Sho tapped the pen against the counter in an off-beat tempo. "That's on the east coast. You said that Tokyo Bay was blocked off, right?"

Ohno nodded.

But Nino was not easily convinced. He looked anxious, shifting from foot to foot. "It's too easy- it's too convenient."

"The east coast isn't exactly convenient," Jun pointed out.

"I just-" Sho started, and then stopped again. He looked at Nino, defensive and on-edge, then to Ohno, who was unreadable. His gaze shifted to Jun, and he kept it there for several long moments. "I just think we have to try."

There was a particularly loud boom of thunder, and the lights flickered overhead. The collective breath in the room hitched- Jun prayed with everything he had that the power would stay on. He didn't think he could handle camping out in a strange apartment in the middle of the night without knowing the lights would come on with the flick of a switch.

The power stayed on.

"We can't just stay here," Ohno said, and it was a reasonable statement. "We have to get out, or we'll eventually-"

His voice trailed off. Nino kicked a bit at the counters. He seemed mad, but more resigned than vehemently protesting. "What's out there for us?"

Sho looked towards Aiba's bowed head. "Hope, remember?"

There was another very long silence that felt like weights on Jun's shoulders. Finally, Aiba raised his head up. There were streaks of wetness on his cheeks, but his jaw was set- clenched.

"Let's go," he said. "Let's go- we'll be careful. We have to try." Sho's eyes met Jun's again, even as Aiba was continuing. "Right? We have to try!"

The rain was beating against the window, shaking the entire pane.

"Okay," Nino said, and Jun looked up at him in shock. "Okay, Aiba."

Aiba looked confused, too. "Really?"

"Yeah." Ohno was smiling at Nino, something akin to a beam, and Nino sort of swatted in his direction like he was embarrassed. "But let's just sleep now, or something. I'm exhausted."

Jun glanced at the window, and didn't think he'd be getting much sleep with the storm pounding away outside, no matter how much his arms were burning from the digging they'd done earlier that day. The atmosphere was simply too tense- too much.

In the end, Ohno volunteered to stay out in the living room with Aiba. There was a child's room near the bathroom with a small twin bed, which Nino claimed. It left the master bedroom open for Jun and Sho; Jun suspected that it was done deliberately, but Nino wouldn't meet his gaze, and he couldn't get anything from Ohno's expression.

He supposed it didn't really matter- not anymore.

The bedroom was small, but not overly so. Jun closed the blinds because he didn't want to stare out at the lightning the whole night- even so, it flashed through the openings to create patterns on the far wall that flickered out of existence as the thunder rolled through. Sho entered as he was turning back around towards the bed, still covered with a quilted comforter.

Sho pushed the door shut behind him, and the click echoed.

It was stupid to be nervous, given everything. Stupid and juvenile and so inescapably, perfectly normal that it made him feel far safer than anything else did. He was glad he still got goose bumps on his arms when he looked at the other man, glad that his breathing quickened when Sho walked across the room to stand in front of him.

Sho's hand touched his arm, and his fingers were warm. "Hey."

"Hey," Jun replied, swallowing hard. Sho's hands found the side of his face, the hair that had been sticking out for days.

They were so close. Jun looped his arms around Sho's waist to pull him in tighter, so he could feel the heat from the other man's body- it was solid, grounding. Sho's mouth was on his cheek, kissing downward until his lips hit the corner of Jun's, and then he sighed.

"Jun," he breathed. It seemed like the world suddenly snapped into place around them. Jun kissed him, hard- he wanted everything, all of it, anything he could get his mind wrapped around. Sho's hands were at the back of his head, tongue sweeping across his lips to gain access. Outside the thunder was rattling, and it echoed in Jun's blood, burning with desire.

He took a step forward. It was mostly just to push Sho back onto the bed, but it ended up causing their hips to grind against one another, and Sho gasped against Jun's mouth at the sensation. Sho stumbled back, hitting the side of the mattress and falling flat, Jun sliding with to straddle his waist.

It was so much better when he was fully coherent. Without the dizzying effect of alcohol, he could memorize every bit of Sho's skin beneath his fingers, every curve and ridge to the inside of his mouth. It was frenzied to a point- there was a clock ticking outside them, the whole situation like a bomb waiting to be diffused- but the movements themselves weren't hurried.

Jun wanted to take his time. He wanted to internalize everything.

Sho's fingers brushed up under the hem of Jun's shirt, searching. Jun groaned a little when Sho's fingers made contact with his nipples, thumbing the sensitive skin, and nipped at Sho's bottom lip.

And the bedroom window exploded in a shower of glass and rain.

The shock of it sent Jun rolling off of Sho and the bed completely. There was a figure pulling itself up from the ground where it had fallen, soaking wet and covered in something sticky and red. A woman, hair half-back in a ponytail. She opened her mouth and all that came out was a shriek; it was only then that Jun noticed her hands were nearly all bone, and she was limping heavily on her left leg.

Jun's entire body froze in terror.

He hadn't even noticed the fire escape that snaked past the bedroom window along the outer bricks.

Sho's hands were at Jun's shoulders, pushing. "Go, go!"

Jun didn't know if Sho was talking about both of them, or just Jun. But he wasn't leaving alone; he wouldn't leave Sho alone with the creature that was lunging for them with outstretched hands and red, blood-shot eyes.

The woman screamed again, and this time it didn't sound like just a wail- there were sounds. Sounds like words. "-too! You too!"

Jun almost got to the door before it flew open. Ohno was moving faster than Jun had ever seen him move before, paddling hissing as it sliced through the air. The flat end hit the woman's temple, and there was a shower of red against the far wall, painting over the flowers on the wallpaper.

"Fuck," Sho gasped, and his hands were clutched tight around Jun's arm. "Fuck- run!"

Jun did. Aiba was already up and Nino was stumbling out of the second bedroom with his controller already in his hand, and then Ohno was on Sho's heels, slamming the master bedroom door behind him.

"Go," he ordered, sounding shaky.

"It's not safe," Nino agreed. His eyes were very wide. "They followed us, how did they follow us?"

Aiba was at the door, pulling free the deadbolt. "Where do we go?"

"I don't know," Sho answered. His fingernails were digging into Jun's skin, but Jun couldn't really register the pain- there was too much panic screaming through his blood, setting his mind on fire.

They flew into the hallway. Jun didn't have his tennis racket, but there was no time- he couldn't go back. Their safety was compromised. He stumbled as they ran through the corridor to the stairwell, nearly falling down the stairs his feet were moving so quickly. Their footsteps were just like the thunder rolling outside the building; it was so loud against his ears he couldn't hear anything else.

And something was shrieking behind them.

It wasn't much of a scream anymore- it was an angry yell, like a roar, like rage-fueled noises that were so guttural he almost thought it was coming from an animal.

Aiba let out a terrified cry as they reached the first floor. He opened the front door to a barrage of wind, and Nino lurched forward to pull it back shut again- but not before Jun could see the figures outside, black against the silhouette of the water coming down in sheets.

They were waiting outside the building.

"Oh, God!" Aiba wailed, falling backwards into Jun's chest.

"There has to be a back way," Sho said, but he didn't sound completely sure. Ohno was at the rear of the group; he turned and started running down the hall to the opposite side of the building, and Jun followed. If they were trapped inside the building-

-oh God, what if they were trapped inside the building?

The back entrance was partially hidden by a long-dead potted plant. Jun stumbled out into the rain behind Ohno, breath catching in his throat. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak- all he could do was run like his life depended on it. He was pretty sure it actually did.

He focused on Ohno's form in front of him. Through the rain, it was all he could see, and his vision was going red at the sides. He tripped on the curb and fell, and Ohno reached out to grab his arm.

It was only then that Jun turned around to discover that the others hadn't followed them.

"No," he whispered, and it was swallowed by the rain.

There was a rattling, furious cry from the direction they had just come from, and then another, and another- there were so many.

And he was with only Ohno.

"No!" he said again, this one an exclamation that wrenched itself out of his lips involuntarily. "No!"

Ohno was tugging at his arm, because the infected's shouts were growing closer, and Jun's own yelling was alerting them. "Jun, come on!"

Jun couldn't fight, because all the resolve had left his body completely, and all he could feel was the bitter, acid taste of absolute desperation.


	8. Chapter 8

He was soaking wet- shivering, trembling, and saturated with rain, and Ohno was still tugging on his arm. The bottom of his shoes hit a rock and he stumbled, nearly falling, nearly pulling Ohno down with him, and he choked on the water that was running rivulets down his face and catching in the corners of his mouth.

"Wait," he gasped, because his lungs were burning- he couldn't keep running. There were no longer footsteps behind him- had they lost the infected? Had those wishing to use them as fuel fallen back and left them to flee? "Wait- we can't-"

"We have to keep moving," Ohno said. His fingers didn't detach from Jun's arm.

"No!" Jun cried, wrenching his wrist away. They'd left the other three behind, they'd run into the darkness without stopping to wait. "They're still back there! They might need help! We can't leave them!"

Ohno didn't say anything right away. There was a streetlamp overhead that was nearly hidden by the pouring sheets of rain, and even the orange glow visible through the drops was flickering wildly- everything was falling apart. Everything had been stable; not good, but doable, and now it was crumbling. They'd left, they'd left them behind-

Jun turned around, reacting without knowing he was even moving. "We have to go back to get them."

"No," Ohno called; even his commands were less forceful than others, easier to disregard- or maybe that was just because Jun didn't care what the other man had to say. He wasn't leaving them behind. Sho, Aiba- even Nino, they couldn't just leave them to fend for themselves against the mob.

"I'm going," Jun insisted, and got two steps before Ohno grabbed his arm again. This time, Ohno's fingers were far tighter. Jun couldn't wriggle free, and it almost hurt. Ohno squeezed, and Jun bit back his yelp.

"No," Ohno said again, and this time, there was no arguing with it.

Rage flared hot in Jun's veins, coupled with the adrenaline screaming through his blood. It all mingled together into a white-hot sensation that boiled just beneath his skin. "You may not care about them, but I do, and I'm-"

"Stop!" Ohno demanded. In the dimness of the shuddering streetlight, he finally looked angry. "What good do you think you'll do by going back? You don't even have a weapon!"

Jun's empty fingers clenched involuntarily, even as Ohno's fingers tightened again around his wrist, almost compulsively. "I know you think that it's more important to go back, but it's not. We have to get away, don't you understand? We have to get away."

"But, Nino-" Jun started, swallowing hard.

"I can't do anything for him if I'm dead," Ohno cut in, and his tone warbled ever to slightly- maybe it was just the rain. Maybe it was Jun's imagination. "Don't you see that? We can't help them if we die. We have to get to the meet-up point from the radio."

Jun couldn't wrap his head around it- leaving them couldn't be the right option. "They might need us-"

"They need us to live," Ohno said, and there was more sincerity on his face than Jun had ever seen from the man. It colored his features, softening everything. The weight of his words- and the truth of them, no matter how much Jun rebelled against it- it all sunk in like bags of sand pressing down on Jun's shoulders. "The best thing we can do for them is to live."

Jun's shoulders slumped forward, resigntation clenching his chest.

"I-" he started, and then stopped, putting a hand over his eyes when the hot sting of tears pricked at the corners. "I can't leave."

Ohno's hands on his shoulders weren't forceful, they were solid. "We have to. If we go back, we die. If we go forward, we might live. They'd want us to live, even if they couldn't follow."

No. That couldn't be right- it didn't have to be that way. It couldn't come down to such a sentiment. It didn't matter how much the world had been turned on its axis, Jun couldn't believe that he'd have to live by that philosophy.

But Ohno was standing in front of him with eyes that spoke nothing but truth, and the other three weren't behind him, weren't next to him, Sho's hand wasn't brushing the back of his-

There was laughter behind Ohno's form. Maniacal, high pitched laughter- Jun's body tensed painfully as his heart fell to his stomach. There was a bump, like a body running into something, and then the laughter intensified. It was coming from the open warehouse just behind them.

Ohno met Jun's eye quickly, just for a second, and he spun with one hand moving down to his paddle, but the creature behind him was quicker. A crate flew out of the darkness and hit Ohno's shoulder, grazing his head. It didn't knock him out- the aim was off- but it propelled him over to one side, and he tumbled to the ground in a heap.

"No!" Jun cried- the figure was lunging for the other man on the concrete. Lunging and laughing, with hands outstretched like claws.

He leapt at the Infected, shoulder-first. He didn't have much momentum starting from a stationary position, but it was enough to send the creature reeling. It shrieked in anger, almost forming words- not quite. When Jun pushed it back he could see more of it in the light from the street lamp. It's face was nearly completely gone, eaten away until the only flesh remaining was bloody and black. It had long since lost its lips, but the eyes were still there, skin peeled away from the sockets so the orbs were impossibly round.

Jun wanted to throw up; the bile burned the back of his throat.

Ohno was still getting to his feet, but the Infected was faster- there was something singing in its veins that they couldn't fathom, something driving it that was nearly impossible to understand. All it felt was rage- and the rage was focused on Jun now.

Jun reached for Ohno's paddle, but the Infected lurched towards him with a rattling screech, and he was forced to roll away. He hit the wall of the warehouse and glanced inside, trying to find another way out- he couldn't see much in the rain and his hair in his face, but he saw the glint of something metal in the dim street light that swept inside.

An axe.

He practically jumped towards it.

The Infected screamed again, and this one sounded like it might have been coherent once, back when the thing had still possessed a face. It was on his heels as his fingers closed around the handle of the weapon, and he turned already swinging. He grazed its arm a little, and the weight of the tool surprised him, threw him off balance.

It howled- the creature howled. It was so horrible that Jun wanted to cover his ears; instead, he swung with more precision as the thing was shrieking.

The axe slid through skin and bone with only a few angry cracks and one awful suctioning noise, and the Infected's left hand hit the ground. Jun didn't know anything about dismemberment- Christ, he'd never cut off anyone's arm before- and he wasn't expecting the angry spray of blood that followed. He rolled out of the way to avoid getting hit, and kicked at the back of the Infected's knee.

It went down, jerked twice, and then laid still, crimson pooling at the shoulder where the skin had once been attached.

Jun stared at the body until Ohno's arms hauled him up away from the ground, axe clattering to the concrete.

"Don't touch the blood," the other man said. Without his help, Jun might not have been able to move- he couldn't stop staring at the corpse lying at his feet.

"I-" Jun started, and then nearly choked on another hot wave of bile in the back of his throat. "I think some got on my jeans."

"It's okay," Ohno said. "We can wash that. Just don't let it get in your eyes or mouth."

Spread through fluids- that's why they were drinking bottled water. Jagged pieces were coming together, matching up so well it hurt. Jun closed his eyes and stumbled away from the Infected body- the rain would get the blood out of his denim long before they would have to do anything to it.

He was trembling something awful, and Ohno's fingers gently touched his elbow. "We should go."

"Yeah," Jun whispered, mouth oddly dry. "I- yeah."

He couldn't think of anything else as they fled into the night and the steady rain.

\--

The hours blurred and stretched like they had in the safety center. But instead of wondering what was happening outside, he was outside now. The first night, he and Satoshi stopped at an abandoned dry cleaners. They ate hard rice cakes and drank oolong tea that had probably expired weeks ago. He didn’t get more than an hour of continuous sleep – and neither of them could sleep at the same time. They’d grown too lax before, which was why they were in this fucked up mess now.

“I was getting ready for a fishing trip,” Ohno told him when they prepared to leave in the morning. Jun took a metal pole, tossing hangers with clothes to the shop floor. Nobody was coming to pick these things up. “I just needed a new lure, really.”

He stayed quiet as they left the store, swinging the stolen makeshift weapon. It whooshed through the air as the sun rose in the distance. They had to keep moving east, toward the ocean.

“I’d seen the news report,” Satoshi continued, in the same calm voice as always. “They told people to stay home, but I was so excited for my trip.”

The news report Jin had switched off, he remembered bitterly.

“So I just went to the mall. So did a lot of people. There were so many people out there. Nobody thought it was bad. When they released the news report, they said it would probably be contained by the end of the day.”

Jun nodded. Speaking, sharing memories – this was how they’d keep going. This was how they’d stay alive so they could find the others again. He needed to borrow some of that motivation that kept Aiba moving, even after losing everything. He’d made a promise to him, hadn’t he? That they were family now?

Ohno wasn’t one to talk, but now that it was just the two of them, alone, there was nothing else to do. They found a rail line, an entire train full of bodies abandoned in the middle of the tracks.

“Let’s follow this east,” he said, and Ohno nodded.

“Riskier.”

He shrugged. “I’ll trust a straight line to the coast than getting lost in the streets.”

It was definitely more open here – they could be attacked from any side. But he’d prefer seeing them coming, even if there were more. Jun tightened his grip around the metal. What would it feel like, knocking it against someone’s skull as they tried clawing at his face?

They kept walking, passing more bodies on the tracks. The hours passed, and they talked about odd things, strange things. Gossip about celebrities who may have escaped on their jets. About the best place for ramen in Tokyo and how Ohno’s mom made good hotpot dishes. Normal things like baseball and video games and hobbies. Before everything had gone to hell, Ohno had worked as an artist’s assistant in a gallery. He hoped to open one and display his own work someday. All five of them had ambitions and dreams – but would any of them ever come true now?

In the late afternoon a family, a damn family with a mother, father and child came screaming out of one of the stations along the line. The child wasn’t gone yet – but his parents were rotting, and Jun didn’t even hesitate as he swung the pole like a baseball bat. The sound against the father’s head was sickening, and he had to dodge back to avoid the spray.

He heard the child’s inhuman howl as his father fell at Jun’s feet, and his mother a few paces away, body knocking against the metal rail of the train track from Ohno’s blow. The child looked back and forth between them, eyes wide and haunted. His mouth was smeared with blood, and he was still wearing his backpack. He couldn’t have been older than eight or nine.

His lips moved, trying to form the words for “Mommy,” Jun could just tell. His parents had been so much further along. What had they made this kid do? Had the child gone along with it just to have his parents around? Had he faked it all just so they wouldn’t turn their bloodlust on him?

The child screeched again, and Jun already had blood on the weapon. This was mercy, wasn’t it? The boy leapt, dodging Jun’s first swing. Nino and Ohno had been right – the disease did affect people differently. Children were already quick and full of energy. Ohno swung the paddle. Another miss.

They had to hurry, or the screeching might alert more in the neighborhood. The kid pulled off his backpack, throwing it at Jun. He batted it down, and the child was charging. Ohno swung again, and there was blood in his vision. Jun fell back on his ass. Blood, there was blood on him. There was blood…blood on him.

He turned his head. Everywhere, blood everywhere. “Jun,” Ohno was saying, reaching for him. “Jun, calm down.”

He tried to shove Ohno’s hands away. “Don’t touch me. I might be…I might…” His heart nearly stopped, and he felt the wooden railroad ties under his back. No, no, he couldn’t be.

“Jun!” His world blurred as Ohno yanked the glasses off of his face, holding them gingerly through his shirt sleeve. “It just got on here a little. Some on your face. Just make sure it didn’t get in your mouth.”

The sky was full of cheerful white clouds, for all that he could see them clearly. And yet there was a dead father, a dead mother and a dead child on the ground near him. He stayed on his back, trying desperately to calm down as Ohno cleaned the frames with a bottle of water that was supposed to get them through the night. He wasn’t infected. He was safe. He’d overreacted. Again. “I’m sorry.”

Ohno was quiet for a while, focused on scrubbing the glasses clean. “Don’t be. You’re not half as difficult as Kazunari.”

“Hmm?” he asked.

Satoshi gave his glasses back and helped him to his feet. They kept their march eastward, and several minutes passed before he got an answer.

“It was when we were trying to get out of the mall. We found each other on the fifth day. He’d left his store, found mine. He just had that game controller, wanted something to attach to it. But he found me.” They continued walking, and from his slumped shoulders, Jun could tell that Ohno missed Nino terribly.

“The mall had gotten bad. It got bad fast. There were people in the vents. Not that many in my store, but in his, it was apparently awful. He hadn’t slept in days, probably thought he was in a video game. He actually tried to kill me in my sleep the first night.” Ohno sighed. “Don’t tell him I told you. He felt really bad about it.”

The guy had tried to kill him, and yet Ohno still adored him? At least he and Sho had never…

Thinking about Sho wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

“But you,” Jun said slowly. “You and he are…”

Ohno shrugged. “I said he felt really bad about it.”

“Do you love him?”

He regretted it as soon as he blurted it out, but Ohno considered the question. “I’ve only known him for a month.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“He’s all I have now.” Satoshi tapped the paddle against the rail as they walked. “I’m going to see him again. If you believe that, you’ll see Sho again too.”

Jun stopped, watching Ohno continue walking with that same steady pace he had every day since they’d met. He was more observant than Jun had thought.

But Aiba had believed he’d see his family again, he thought bitterly. He jogged, hurrying to keep up as they continued on their lonely path.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=29cxtu0)

Kujukuri Town was quiet when they reached the far end of it.

The only way Jun knew day from night was the sun anymore- they didn't have a watch between the two of them, so the orb overhead was their indicator of how much time they had left in a day. It had taken three to get to the outskirts of town, and it felt like infinitely more. Jun was more tired than he'd ever been in his life. Marching on blistered feet without much food or rest was taxing, and not just physically; he could no longer turn his thoughts off. They screamed through his head like rabid dogs waiting to attack, and he couldn't push them aside.

Ohno's feet stopped when he hit the curb of the first road that intercepted the rail line they'd been following so diligently. "Think this is it."

"What was the address?" Jun asked.

"23-something Beach Line," Ohno said, with a frown. They hadn't thought that they would need to remember it, not with Nino writing it down. Just another thing they had overlooked while falling into the lull of false security- they could never get so lax again. Jun's back was in knots and he wasn't sure they would ever fully disappear.

"Beach Line," Jun mused. He scanned the horizon with one hand over his eyes- the sun was on its way down again, already turning orange. "So near the coast. Probably all the way through town from here."

Ohno nodded, tapping the toe of his shoes against his paddle. "It's our best bet."

They started moving again. As the sun fell further, they got closer to the ocean, and Jun could smell the salty spray. It was comforting in a weird way- the ocean was a constant. Japan and its people might have fallen apart, but the waves would always be there, just as they always had been, crashing up against the side of the rocks. It was one thing they could count on in a sea of everything they couldn't, and Jun was glad for it.

It wasn't until the sky had considerably darkened that he saw the sign for the Beach Line, and he pointed at it, gesturing to get Ohno's attention. "Look."

"So 23-something," Ohno said.

"Wait," Jun stopped him, as Ohno was about to start walking again. "It's almost nighttime, and we heard the location over a radio transmission. It could be a trap."

It was the same thing Nino had said, and Jun wondered if the echo was in Ohno's ears, too.

Ohno considered this, and there was silence between them to where Jun could hear the familiar rhythm of the waves against the shore. It sounded like the thumping of his own heart. They could be walking into God knows what- a booby trap, an ambush, a pile of rotting bodies used to draw them near, anything. He swallowed down his fear; they had to at least try.

They had nothing else left to lose.

"Let's just check it out," Ohno suggested. "We don't have to go in- just see what it is."

It was reasonable. "Okay."

They started forward again, slower. Subdued. There was a heavy tension in the air all around him and Jun didn't know what it was from. Was this the end of the line? What if the location was a fake- and what if it was real? Where could they go in a boat that would be safe, safe from the infection that had ravaged absolutely everything?

He wanted to both drag his feet and break into a sprint.

Jun didn't know what they were looking for- most of the buildings didn't have numbers on the sides. When they reached the middle of the road they lost count completely of what building was next to them. Without knowing it, they could have passed the meet-up location completely. Ohno gestured in towards a small bakery, perched on the corner of two streets. "Let's check inside, see what the address is."

It was very dark inside, and when Jun flipped the light switch, only half of a bulb sputtered on- the glass had been broken in the lamps. It made it difficult to see anything, especially with night rapidly approaching outside. Ohno began checking through drawers and papers, trying to find something with an address on it.

Jun didn't even hear the footsteps until there were hands and the outline of a screaming mouth pressed against the window to his right. He jumped so much he dropped his pole, and the weapon fell to the ground with a clatter. He spun, but there was another in the doorway, with only half a head of hair and skin sliding down its scalp. It lunged, and Jun ducked, narrowly missing the rake of the fingernails poised to pierce skin.

Ohno was behind the counter, and his paddle was still between two shelves. He didn't have enough time to grab it- he fell when the Infected at the window crashed through the pane completely, and Jun could hear his shoulder hit the bottom of the bakery case.

He needed a weapon- his pole was lying a few meters away.

The Infected nearest to him screeched, and her tongue was gone; just gone, completely gone, and there was only blackness inside her cracked, blood-covered lips. Jun tried to roll and reach the pole, but it was just beyond his fingertips, and the Infected stomped down hard on his arm.

He choked out an exclamation of pain, clutching his wrist- the sting of pain was already up his arm, throbbing, and then the Infected was lunging for him again. He kicked upwards. His aim was terrible, but his shoe made contact anyway, and he heard the crunch of ribs cracking as the creature stumbled backwards with a gurgle of pain.

Ohno was still trapped behind the case without anything to fight with. And there were more outside the door, moving forward with stilted leaps.

"Ohno!" Jun cried, and it was nearly lost amidst the screaming of the Infected. They were surrounding them, barreling in, and they were trapped in a stupid, shack of a building- had that been the plan? Had the half-dead been lying in wait for someone to enter one of the easily ambushed areas?

Had it all been one big trap they'd willingly walked into?

Jun's pole was too far away, and there was a figure lurching at him. He squeezed his eyes shut out of instinct- maybe they'd go for his jugular, and let him bleed out quickly. He didn't want to be alive when they started tearing at his flesh. His heart caught in his throat and he stopped breathing, and he could only think that he wasn't at all ready to die.

There was an angry yell from the doorway, and the skid of shoes against pavement. Jun only opened his eyes because it sounded distinctly un-hoarse- not like the Infected. He cracked his lids open to see bodies flying to either side as something thin and silver swooped through the air with a hiss.

A golf club- Aiba and his 5 wood.

It gave Jun enough time to scramble back to his feet, breath coming in shallow wheezes, and he dove for his pole. He got a good smack against the back of an Infected still on its feet, and he could feel the vibrations through through the metal when the skull burst like a watermelon. It sent shivers down his spine that he tried desperately to ignore.

There was more movement from the door in the form of a baseball bat swinging, and the cracking noise it made when it collided with the last remaining Infected still on its feet resounded through the small building. Then there was a very long, collective silence, and Jun struggled to right his world again.

Sho took one step forward from the doorway, and Nino threw up a hand in front of him. "No!"

Jun had never seen the shorter man look so unnerved, hair in every direction, eyes wide and fingers trembling. His other hand was firmly around his controller-whip as he stared past Jun's shoulder at Ohno, rising to his feet behind the counter.

"What was the first thing I said to you?" Nino demanded, sounding strangled. It took Jun a long second to figure out what he was doing- testing them. He was testing their memory; if they couldn't answer the questions, it meant they were infected, didn't it? If they couldn't recall the memories-

"Are you dead?" Ohno replied dutifully.

Nino's arm lowered a fraction of an inch- barely noticeable. "How many nights did we spend in the bank before they found us?"

"Two," Ohno said, and his voice was softer.

Jun could see Nino's throat bob when the other man swallowed. "What- what did you promise me you would do when we got out of Japan alive?"

Ohno's response was so quiet that Jun nearly missed it. "Paint you."

Everything on Nino's face changed, broke- the mask fell apart as all the adrenaline seemed to leave his body at once. "Satoshi," he gasped, stumbling forward over bodies without any regard to round the counter and throw his arms around Ohno. And then there was a bundle of shaking limbs that wrapped itself around Jun completely.

"We thought you were dead!" Aiba cried into his shoulder, hands clutching the back of Jun's shirt like a lifeline. "We thought they got you, we thought you were dead-"

Jun hugged him back, inhaling the scent of someone still living, still breathing. "Not dead."

He could see Sho over Aiba's trembling shoulder, but couldn't read the expression on his face.

"We found the address," Nino said, upon detangling himself from Ohno- he still sounded shaky, but far more in control again. "It's a 7-11 down the street. There's an apartment just across from it where we can watch to see if any of them go inside. I say we watch it for a night, and make sure it's clean."

The 7-11 was a little shady looking, but there weren't any bodies that Jun could see around it- he wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not. The apartment Nino had talked about was high, and lacked fire escapes, which Jun was glad for. They shoved several bookcases in front of the windows anyway, just in case, and all settled down in the living room in a circle. No one wanted to sleep anywhere else- there was safety in numbers.

He stared up at the ceiling for a long time, listening to the heavy, rhythmic breathing around him, until there was a tap on his shoulder, and Sho hovering above him with a finger in front of his lips for quiet.

Jun followed him out into the hall, down the corridor and into another apartment near the corner. His nerves were shot, and his head was throbbing, and he hadn't really even shared a glance with Sho since meeting back up again- there hadn't been time. Hadn't been time or the right moment, and he wasn't entirely prepared to deal with the fallout from the panicked state he'd been in.

But as soon as the portal closed behind him, Sho's mouth was on his, hot and demanding. Jun's back hit the door and Sho's hands were in his hair, at his sides, up and under the fabric of his shirt. They commanded more- they commanded everything.

"I thought I lost you," Sho whispered, against Jun's neck, nipping and biting and fingers slipping down to trail past the waistband of his pants. "I thought I lost you and I'm not waiting anymore."

"Senpai," Jun gasped, and bucked into Sho's palm. It had been forever since he'd felt those fingers curling around his cock. Jun let his hands grab at Sho's shirt, pulling at it and pushing the other man backwards so that his back was no longer against the door. He kissed Sho hard, and groaned against his lips. "Sho-"

There wasn't time to explore and memorize. Time wasn't something they could count on anymore, no longer something they could set their actions by; time was the enemy, barreling down like the infection raging outside. They might not make it- they didn't have time. It was fast and frenzied and a whirlpool of emotion that welled up in Jun's chest like he was drowning and sucking in nothing but lungfuls of water.

It was all hot hands and seeking fingers and Sho turned him around so he was leaning over the kitchen counter of whoever had previously lived in the studio apartment. He grasped the edge of the marble so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Jun," Sho was moaning, grinding his hips against Jun's thighs- it made Jun's vision go slightly white at the edges, all white-hot fire in his blood. The buckle on his pants came undone with deftness, and the denim pooled around his ankles.

A finger slicked with the cold shock of petroleum jelly that Sho had pulled from his pocket. "Oh, please," Jun whispered, and it took a moment to realize the pleas were falling from his own lips. His muscles were shaking from arousal and exertion, elbows locked to keep himself upright. "Oh, please."

Sho's free hand was on his arm, almost like a gentle reassurance despite the tightness of his grasp. There wasn't time to second-guess, there wasn't time to make it romantic; though it was anyway, in a way, or at least Jun thought wildly that it was when Sho finally slid inside him completely, wrenching a hitching moan from his throat.

"Oh-" was all Jun could get out for a long while, and Sho had the presence to still a bit. There was a moment in which Jun thought he'd demand Sho stop immediately, and then Sho shifted with a gasp and hit something that sent a jolt all the way down to Jun's toes pressed up against the edge of the counter. Jun very nearly almost whimpered. "Oh move, oh please move."

It was so fast. Jun wasn't sure if he was sweating from nerves, or tension, or friction- or all three rolled together. When Sho sped up he moved his hips back into each thrust without thinking about it, body screaming on overdrive. The pings of pleasure were so fast in coming that they were multiplying over on themselves, and he had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to keep from crying out. He just bucked into the rhythm and saw the posters from his dorm room, the Infected outside, the spray of blood, Sho's hands, Sho's mouth-

Sho was either groaning or gasping, and maybe it was both. Most of it was a garbled version of Jun's name between hissing intakes of oxygen. "Shit, ah, shit-"

His hands had swept around Jun's hips to pump his length. It was too much, too fast; coupled with the drain from the day and the fear that was always lingering in the back of his mind, Jun couldn't hold on any longer. He came in Sho's palm and almost couldn't keep his balance when the orgasm rippled through him.

It took a few seconds to regain control of his breathing, and even then, with Sho's hips smacking into his ass still, it was difficult. Sho's fingers around his arm tightened suddenly, and the other man choked out something that sounded like _fuck, fuck, I'm going to come_ and then Jun could feel Sho's body tense and twitch.

The shock of loss was keen when Sho slid out a minute later, and Jun slumped forward a bit over the counter. Every nerve in his body was screaming for rest- the lack of sleep for days was catching up too quickly.

Sho wrapped his arms around Jun's shoulders and kissed his neck. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Jun laughed. They stayed like that for a long while before Jun spoke again. "Don't do that again. Falling behind, I mean. I was scared."

"I know," Sho whispered. "We just lost you in the rain, and they were everywhere. Nino- he said you'd go towards the radio source."

Jun leaned his head back to let his temple rest against Sho's. "Ohno said the same thing."

Sho finally pulled away, and Jun pulled his jeans back up. His fingers were still shaking. He finally understood Nino and Ohno now, and the desperation that sometimes tinged the undertones of their words. There was something about clinging to another person in the darkness of the situation.

They crept quietly back to the apartment the others were in and retook their positions on the living room floor. Sho's hand found Jun's in the darkness, squeezing once.

And for the first time in days, Jun actually slept.

\--

He was the first one awake. Somehow during the night, Sho had rolled over and nearly wrapped himself completely around him. Not that Jun minded.

Ohno, Nino and Aiba were all lumped together, limbs tangled. He brushed his fingers across Sho’s forehead. He hadn’t disappeared or run off. Sho groaned a bit, cracking an eye open. “Hi,” Jun whispered.

“Hi.” Sho pulled back a bit, stretching. They stared at each other, the memory of last night leaving the them numb. He licked his lips, remembering what had happened in the other apartment. It would be difficult to stay apart. Sho finally broke the silence. “What time is it?”

“Morning,” was all Jun could really tell him. He sat up, limbs cracking. He got to his feet, holding his hand out for Sho. They tiptoed around the others’ sleeping forms, making their way to the window. They looked out through the blinds.

The streets were deserted. It had rained during the night, and the sky was finally clearing. But the 7-11’s door was open. He put a hand on Sho’s arm. “Do you think...?”

“What’s going on?” Nino was behind them, and Jun snatched his hand back, but the shorter man was already rolling his eyes.

“Someone might be in the 7-11,” Sho mumbled. Nino elbowed his way between them, and Jun sighed. He pulled up the blinds noisily, and all three of them stared out across the damp parking lot. There were posters in the store windows, limiting their view of the inside.

“We should go check it out,” Jun said. “Maybe it’s the guy from the radio.”

“And maybe,” Nino interrupted, “it’s a bunch of freaking zombies or people raiding the store. We wait.”

“Wait? For how long?” Sho grumbled.

Not very long - the three of them froze as they spotted movement around the side of the building. He felt Sho clutch at his side, fumbling for his hand. Jun took it, squeezing hard as they saw two men about their age creep around the building. They made their way to the front of the store, their footsteps quick and determined. One’s arm was nearly black from the infection, and the other was missing...

“His face,” Nino muttered. “Jesus.”

“Close the blinds,” Sho said. “What if they look up...”

The three of them nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of the gunshots. The first sent the one with the rotted face flying into the parking lot, blood splattering on the pavement. The next two shots got the other one, sending him through the glass of the convenience store window, splitting his head on the curb.

He thought he was going to break Sho’s hand he was holding it so tightly. But the infected ones were gone. Decisively gone. A young man emerged from the store, no older than them with wide eyes, hands tight around a hunting rifle.

“Where the hell did this guy get a gun?” Jun asked. The man checked the corpses, poking them with the barrel of the rifle. Jun felt movement behind him - the gun blasts had woken Aiba and Ohno.

“What’s going on?” Aiba asked nervously. “Who’s shooting at us?”

“Not at us,” Nino informed them. “I think we found our saviors.”

\--

The five of them packed up quickly, making sure they had their weapons. There was no easy way to approach a guy with a hunting rifle. “Should we announce ourselves?” Sho asked, hands tight around his bat.

“Well I don’t feel like getting shot in the face today,” Nino replied, walking behind Ohno.

They emerged from the apartment building and waited at the edge of the parking lot. Jun looked from person to person, seeing four nervous faces. “So how do we...?”

“Hey! Rifle guy!” Aiba shouted, stepping forward. “Hey! We heard you on the radio!”

“Masaki!” Sho hissed.

“Hey! We’re not infected!” Aiba continued. Jun’s stomach twisted. He was going to get them all shot.

Another panel of the 7-11’s glass shattered, the gunshot echoing out across the parking lot as the five of them hit the ground. “Shit!” Nino shouted, covering his head.

The guy with the rifle stepped over the glass, hovering in the convenience store entryway. He had light hair and a dark green military-looking jacket. He aimed across at them. “You honestly think I believe you?”

Aiba got to his feet first. “We can prove it! We’re not rotting. We still have all our memories!”

“Think I never heard that before?”

A woman came up behind him, squeezing the gunman’s shoulder. Her clothes were dirty, and she looked exhausted. But as soon as she made her presence known, the man lowered the weapon. The rest of them slowly got to their feet.

“Put your weapons down,” the woman ordered but not unkindly. “Please.”

“Ai...”

“It’s okay,” she told the man, her boyfriend Jun guessed from the intimate way they stood together. She took a step forward. “You heard the radio broadcast?”

Ohno nodded, setting his paddle down. He held his hands out and stepped forward to stand at Aiba’s side. “We did. We were in Chiba City. The night of the 14th. You said come to Kujukuri Town. Something about boats. We didn’t catch all of it.”

The woman smiled. “That was us.” She walked toward them as they all set their weapons down and held their hands up. “We didn’t think anyone would come. We’ve been down the road, watching from that apartment building down that street.”

The man looked furious. “Don’t tell them that!”

But the woman kept walking until she was standing in front of Aiba. They had no time to think as she pulled a handgun from the back of her filthy jeans and pointed it right in Aiba’s face. “I’m sorry, but we can’t trust you.”

Aiba was shaking. “Yeah, trust the woman. Great plan,” Jun heard Nino muttering behind him.

She shook her head. “We want to believe you. But there’s five of you, and just Toma and me. Please, don’t panic.”

“You’re pointing a gun in his face,” Sho pointed out.

“Some of them are clever,” she said. “If you’ve been out here as long as we have, then you know that too. You’ll come into the store. We’ll check to see if you’re infected.”

“Check how?” Jun asked.

“We’re going to check your skin.” The four of them exchanged nervous glances, save Aiba who was stock still. She waved the gun a bit. “We’ve got a boat. If you’d like to be on it, then you’ll come into the store.”

“On one condition,” Aiba said quietly.

“Name it.”

“We check you too,” he answered.

The woman raised an eyebrow. “Toma?” she called loudly, not taking her focus away from Aiba.

“I have to take my clothes off in front of these guys?”

She sighed. “We’re asking the same of them!” The guy, Toma, looked annoyed but turned around and headed into the store. The woman cleared her throat. “You have a deal. Into the store please. Leave the weapons here.”

Sho stuck close to him as they followed the woman into the store. “Didn’t think I’d be getting naked in front of strangers this morning,” he muttered.

“No shit,” Jun answered. This would be interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

"Over there," Ai said, with a little wave of the gun still clutched in her hands.

The inside of the 7-11 was sparse, decorated with the remainder of the cases and the coolers against the far wall. It had obviously been raided a dozen times over already- maybe that was why they chose it, to make it a less obvious target. There was glass all over the floor that crunched with each footstep and hissed a bit at Jun's ears. He followed the other four into the corner Ai had been pointing at, waiting; everything hung poised at the edge of the blade sharpened between them. They couldn't trust the others- and the others couldn't trust them. Not yet, anyway.

"One by one," Toma said, hands on his hips. "Down to your underwear. And no funny business."

"What about you?" Nino asked. He sounded annoyed, but not yet to the point of belligerent. He must have realized the same thing Jun did- that it was necessary in order to be safe. Some things had to be done, in order to remain in motion. It wasn't the worst thing they'd had to do in order to survive.

Toma nodded towards the woman, who lowered the gun a bit. "Ai will go into the back room, don't worry."

"I meant about your end of the bargain," Nino said, scowling. "You, too, remember?"

"I know it," Toma replied.

But it was Ohno who hit the real nail on the head, already pulling off his outer layers. "Who is going to check her?"

"Someone has to," Nino said, pointedly, despite the glower that was forming on Toma's features. Ai handed him the gun and moved back through what had once been the aisles of the store to the back room- the manager's office, perhaps, if the half-broken sign by the doorframe was anything to go by. Sho watched her disappear through the portal with a neutral expression.

"One of us," he said, almost gently- maybe he sensed Toma's displeasure with the situation. "Just one of us has to check."

It looked for a moment like Nino was going to say something about not trusting anyone other than himself and Ohno, but his jaw remained shut, and he voiced nothing. Ohno turned, shrugging off his sweatshirt, to meet Jun's gaze.

"Jun," he said.

There was a moment of silence, and Jun nodded. "Okay."

"Fine," Toma snapped. "Fine, whatever, just start stripping. Let's get this over with."

He seemed anxious, like he expected to find something unfortunate in the search- had they done it before, only to find that they were meters away from being infected themselves? How many groups had they encountered- and how many had actually been clean? They had the look of exhaustion, of being out in the thick of things too long. Jun understood that; he felt the same thing in every limb, bone-weary.

Jun went first- it was only fair. He had to go and effectively strip-search a woman he didn't know. It was cold when he tugged his jeans off, and he shivered a bit. Toma was quick, but thorough- he pulled away both of Jun's arms to check the insides of his elbows, and poked at the inner-side of his knees.

"Hits the extremities first," he commented, as if to explain his methods. Jun could have guessed that, from the hands and faces he'd seen- and Kame's leg. The furthest away from the internal organs; he wondered if it made it slower to die, slower to melt away and succumb to the virus overloading the systems it claimed.

After what felt like ages, Toma gave him a nod. "You're clean."

Sho began discarding his clothing as Jun pulled his back on. He had to force himself not to look at the tanned stretch of skin of his stomach, at the definition of Sho's muscles; he didn't have time to get caught up in that now, not with two unknowns in the same building as them. He kept his eyes on the mismatched floor tiles as he re-buttoned his jeans.

"We trust you," Aiba said, quietly, when he started down the aisle towards the back room.

Jun couldn't tell who was showing the most blind trust, honestly- he was walking into the back room alone to face a woman he didn't know was safe, and Toma was standing in the middle of four bodies that could be walking death-traps. Maybe they both had to give and take; maybe that was the nature of it. If they risked nothing, could they really gain enough to get out of the country and into safe ground again?

Ai was seated in a half-ripped office chair when he entered. She rose immediately, fingers tugging at the bottom of her shirt.

"Sorry," Jun said, awkwardly, lingering near the door as she shrugged off her blouse.

"Don't be," she said. She stepped out of her pants, and sort of extended her arms out to him, palms up towards the ceiling. She'd obviously had to do it before- but by the pink in her cheeks, it never really got any easier. Jun tried to stay objective when his eyes roved over the exposed flesh.

Jun swallowed hard when he checked her legs. "Feel like I should have your name."

"Kato," she said, voice cracking only a little. Even in the midst of everything, in the situation spiraling out of everyone's control, he could see what she had been before it- a little shy. Forced into protecting herself, but still clinging to the wisps of timid-ness. Her fingers were still soft and white, hands still manicured. "Kato Ai."

"Matsumoto," Jun introduced himself. "And- thanks. You're fine."

Ai began tugging back on her clothing, still flushed, and Jun averted his eyes; not that it would do any good now, but still, having something normal to fall back on felt more appropriate in the situation than the alternative did.

"I'm sorry for the methods," she said, quietly, as lithe fingers buttoned up her shirt again. "It's just that we've seen a lot of people who weren't what they claimed to be."

Jun's throat felt swollen. "And they were trying to get out of Japan?"

"Mm," she agreed. She pulled hair from the back of her collar, and tucked strands behind her ears. "People want out, even if they know they are dying. But- well, we can't. It's terrible, but we can't take them with."

"They'll spread the infection," Jun said.

"Yes," Ai sighed. "There's no good solution, you know? It's not simple or easy, it's just- how it is."

Jun thought of the family by the train tracks, and the woman from the fire escape. He thought about Kame, and the ones who had gotten out of the safety center, in a world that felt like forever ago. Everything had gotten very gray, lines dissolving; he wasn't sure which way was up, anymore, not really.

"And you and Toma...?"

"We got out," Ai said, startling him.

Jun just stared at her as she pulled on her shoes once more, buckling the straps adorned with dirty, half-tattered bows. "You- got out of Japan? And came back?"

"Mm," she said again. "We wanted to help. We saw what it was, and that hardly anyone else was doing it. And we owed our lives to those that helped us. We wanted to do the same thing."

He felt a swell of gratitude to them- they were putting their lives on the line when they didn't need, when they had already gotten free of the mess. They were trying to help, and if it worked, they owed Toma and Ai everything. Suddenly, having to strip down to be declared free of infection didn't seem so bad.

And the end was in sight, rapidly approaching over the bob of the waves in the ocean that separated them from safety.

"Thank you," Jun said, quietly. For a moment, he wasn't even sure if she heard him. But then she gave him a soft little smile that spoke volumes, and gestured back towards the door.

"Shall we?"

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=29de9fn)

When they were all given the all-clear- which made Jun give a sigh of relief despite the fact that he'd already known they were- Toma and Ai led them back to the apartment across the way from the 7-11, near the one they'd stayed at the night before. They had a small base set up there, with some non-perishable food items and some extra ammunition.

Jun didn't ask where they'd gotten the guns. Given what he knew of their past experiences, he wasn't really sure he wanted to know.

But when Toma handed him a package of crackers, he dove right in. It had been awhile since they'd had much more than bare-bone supplies of their own.

"You're the only ones we've gotten for awhile," Toma explained, taking a sip from a bottle of soda. "We stay here for about a week, see how many we pick up, and then start onward towards the boat."

"Onward?" Aiba asked. "It's not here?"

Toma shook his head, and spilled a bit of the carbonated beverage on his sleeve. He brushed at it with two fingers. "Too much of a security risk."

"It's in Kashima, Ibaraki," Ai added.

"How many- haven't been clean?" Sho asked. He sounded a little quieter than normal- subdued, maybe.

There was a long silence, and then Toma cleared his throat a bit, staring down at the toes of his boots. "A lot."

Jun glanced over at Sho beside him, and Sho let his hand fall down to his side a bit, to the area between their thighs. It was just a brush when their palms touched, but it was enough. It made Jun feel a little better when he looked to the darkness rolling outside the window. Sho's fingers wrapped gently around his and squeezed.

"You're from Tokyo Central?" Ai asked.

"Three of us are," Aiba clarified, pointing at himself, and then Sho and Jun.

Toma nodded. "The University was quicker on isolating those they could. But even then, by the time they did, the government was long gone. They were gone the minute the news got out. So many people just didn't believe it."

"If you didn't have an organization kenneling you, there was no way to understand what was going on," Ai agreed.

Even from his vantage point across the room, Jun could see Nino and Ohno share a significant glance. That much was true- he'd heard it from Ohno himself.

"So," Aiba said, sounding a bit strangled, "how far is the boat?"

"Few days' walk," Toma answered. He shrugged a bit, jacket bunching at the seams. "Not that bad, all things considered."

It was so close. Jun could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was like the coiling that had been so permanent in his stomach was slowly unraveling. He moved his hand to fully entwine his fingers with Sho's- he didn't care anymore. He was going to hold on.

Toma kicked a bit at some of the papers in the middle of the floor- maps, a couple of scribbled coordinates on ripped notebook paper, and what looked to be an old Chinese take-out menu with muddy footprints on it. "We'll leave tomorrow. They'll be expecting us soon."

"What do we do until then?" Ohno asked, almost sounding mournful.

Aiba reached into his bag and produced the tattered deck of cards. "Blackjack?"

"Or," Nino said, reaching for the box without asking, a gleam in his eye, "I could show you some magic tricks."

\--

Traveling with people toting guns did a lot to alleviate Jun’s fears. So long as it was light outside, Toma and Ai could take care of most that tried to charge at them. A group of seven was far more intimidating – it would take a real swarm of infected to slow them down now.

Their saviors weren’t terribly forthcoming with information about themselves. She apparently had wealthy friends, connections. They’d gotten out almost immediately. More people had gotten out than they’d originally thought, only to get quarantined when reaching their destinations. Around the world, escaped Japanese were in containment centers awaiting word about their homeland.

“Is there a cure yet?” Sho wondered as they made their way along a deserted highway. They were going to head northwest then cut back northeast into Ibaraki Prefecture. The area around Narita and the airport were just as bad as the rumors had suggested.

Toma and Ai exchanged a look that Jun immediately knew meant no, but she put on a smile. “They’re working on it. At least that’s what we know. We’ve been back here for days. Who knows if they’ve made progress on it? Have to hope for the best.”

Their newest companions were just as cut off as the five of them were now that they were back on Japanese soil. The thought of getting out, though, was enough to keep Jun’s feet moving on the asphalt, walking around abandoned cars and over bodies of people who weren’t as fortunate.

They’d get to Kashima, get to Toma and Ai’s friends and the boat. But what then?

Toma, Ohno, Aiba and Nino were up in front, leaving him and Sho with Ai. She was checking the handgun nervously every few minutes – seeing how many bullets remained in the clip, flipping the safety on and off. He doubted that she or Toma had been marksmen before this had all gone down, but Jun himself had never killed anything larger than a bug before this either.

“Where will the boat take us?” he asked her.

She slid the gun back in the waistband of her pants, although Jun knew she’d be checking it again before too long. “Um, well. Where did you want to go?”

He looked at Sho. He looked just as lost, and Jun swallowed. Neither of them had been out of the country before – he suspected the same of their other three friends. Where the hell would they go? He didn’t know anyone in another country. He didn’t have anything aside from the clothes in his bag. What if they got all the way to Korea or somewhere and got turned away? What about his bank card? Would he even be able to take out money wherever they ended up?

“We didn’t know either,” Ai admitted sadly. “We just…we got out to sea. My friends, Toma, we were just bobbing on the waves. And we just didn’t know what to do.”

“Could go to Hawaii,” Sho mumbled. “Always nice in Hawaii.”

Jun chuckled, watching the sun starting to set over the horizon. “Yeah, we deserve a vacation after this.”

“The hell you guys laughing about back there?” Nino grumbled.

“Hawaii. We’re taking the boat to Hawaii,” Sho said, completely straight-faced.

“Ooh,” Aiba joined in. “We could go surfing.”

“Eat lots of pineapple,” Ohno said.

“Swim. Feel the sand between my toes,” Ai added.

Toma had the rifle perched on his shoulder. It was a bit off-putting when he cracked a big smile and laughed. “Sure, we’ll just relax on the beach until we get the all clear. That’s a great plan.”

It felt good to laugh. Aiba had tears in his eyes he was giggling so much, and Jun tossed an arm around his shoulder and laughed with him. It was going to be dark soon, so they made their way down one of the highway off ramps in search of shelter for the night. Sho walked the long way around a car and tripped over something, making a funny shout as he fell. Nino snorted, and Jun couldn’t help joining Aiba and Toma in a chuckle or two.

But then Sho stayed on the ground, and Jun stopped, pulling his arm away from Aiba to run over. Sho moved to lean his back against the car’s bumper, eyes wide. Toma was around the car first, face falling. Jun knelt down in front of Sho, hands on his shoulders. “What happened? Sho?”

Nino joined Toma. “Found what he tripped over.”

Sho already had tears in his eyes when Aiba came over and gasped. Jun almost didn’t want to peek around the car. Sho tried to grab his hand before he leaned over, but it was too late. It was a young woman, and he followed everyone’s gaze down to the poor woman’s abdomen.

“Pregnant,” Ai whispered, hand covering her mouth.

“She’s…” Aiba told them all, gaze drawn to the woman’s face. “She’s still…”

Then Jun saw it. Saw what had Sho speechless and crying. Her limbs were in various states of decay, but her eyes were open. They were still looking, still searching. What was it like, what could she see? What kind of pain was this? Her mouth was moving, and Jun could hear wheezing, gasping breaths. A pregnant woman, still alive. But dead. Wasn’t that how Nino had described this last part?

Toma and Ai looked at each other, and he simply nodded once. Nino tugged on Aiba’s arm, pulling him back away from the car and followed Ai and Ohno back down the off ramp. Jun rounded the car. “Sho.”

He looked stunned, unable to move, and Jun had crouch down and haul the man to his feet. Tears stung in his eyes as he half-dragged Sho away from the abandoned car. The gunshot echoed, and Sho’s breath hitched noisily with a sob. Jun tightened his grip around him as their ears still rung from Toma’s shot. They made it to a kindergarten building a block from the highway in silence.

\--

There was potato chips for dinner. Sho had locked himself in one of the kindergarten classrooms, separate from the others. Aiba had been sitting outside the door for the better part of an hour, trying to get Sho to come out and eat.

He should be in there with him, but what the hell would he say? Aiba got to his feet when Jun approached. “Won’t even talk to me,” Aiba said sadly.

He just nodded. “I’ll stay with him.”

Aiba squeezed his shoulder. “There’s windows in there. They’re not blocked off like the ones where the rest of are. Try and get him to come back where it’s safer, okay?”

He waited for Aiba to disappear into the other classroom before he knocked. “Sho, it’s me.” He got on his tiptoes, trying to peek into the room. Sho was sitting on a rug cross-legged, staring at the wall. There were finger paintings there done by the children who’d once frequented the classroom. Pictures of fruit, flowers. Pictures of the children’s families. He knocked again. “Sho, let me in.”

It was almost fifteen minutes before Sho slowly got to his feet, stumbling over the door almost in a daze. The lock turned, and Jun caught Sho as he pulled the door open. He blinked back tears, sliding the door shut behind him as Sho’s weight tugged them both to the ground in a heap.

Jun could only hold him close as he sobbed, rocking back and forth. “She’s out of her misery. She’s somewhere else now, okay?”

“She was going to have a baby,” Sho was saying between gasping breaths, his voice going to a higher, hitching register. He was babbling, holding Jun so tight he could barely breathe. “They’re always talking about the birth rate in Japan going down, more older people, fewer children. I wrote a paper about it last semester, possible economic impact of…oh god, Jun, I…I stepped on her belly. I tripped over her. I…”

He pressed his lips to Sho’s temple. “You didn’t do anything. She was already gone, okay?”

“What if the baby was still…”

“Sho,” he reprimanded, his voice rather loud in the quiet classroom. “It’s okay. Come on. You need to eat something.”

He snorted. “Not exactly hungry.”

Jun sighed, running his fingers through Sho’s hair. “We’re all sleeping in the other room. Not safe here. They want to get moving when the sun comes up. Will you come with me?”

Sho wiped his nose and sniffed, letting out an annoyed groan as Jun pulled him up. “Hawaii right?”

“Right.” He met Sho’s eyes, seeing something in them he recalled from the night they’d reunited. Surely the same look was mirrored on his own face. They found each other, mouths crashing and noses hitting. Sho was still crying, clinging desperately as they kissed, seeking solace the only way they knew how. He had to break apart before they did something more. There was even less privacy now. “We have to go back.”

Sho caught his breath, closing his eyes and agreeing. “Just a minute.”

Jun waited as Sho went back to the wall of finger paintings. He took out the push pins, letting them fall to the floor as he took down a picture of a child’s bright blue handprint. He watched Sho fold it neatly, slipping it into the back pocket of his jeans. Sho gave him a weak smile as he came back, sliding open the door so they could return to the others.

\--

It got harder as they got closer to Kashima- he got antsy, felt like they could move faster even with the blisters that dotted the back of his heels from his water-logged sneakers. They were all exhausted and he didn't want to push them, but he wanted to move faster. He wanted to get there sooner. The sun was breaking over the darkness and he wanted out; he wanted the safety of the waves and the firm sides of a boat.

"You mentioned a cure," Ohno said, as they continued after several days of moving in the late afternoon breeze that was hot against Jun's face. "But to have a cure, they have to know why it started, right?"

"It was a vaccine," Toma replied. He tapped the barrel of the gun against his shoulder, like he was beating out the rhythm to a song.

And ahead of them, a few paces in front, Nino scoffed and kicked at a scraggly weed growing out from between the pebble-strewn railway. "It's always a vaccine."

"What kind of vaccine?" Aiba asked, just as Jun said, "What do you mean it's always a vaccine?"

There was a silence, and Nino kicked again at the ground, sending a spray of tiny rocks flying up into the air. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned around with a cheery skip to his step, a smirk gracing his features. He hopped backwards on the balls of his feet.

"Oh, come on," he said, as if it should have been painfully obvious. "It's always something like that- that's how humans work. We try to fix something, and we end up doing way more harm than good. Just like I Am Legend."

Toma looked wary; Jun felt the same way. He didn't like the gnawing sensation in his stomach that Nino's words were creating.

"I don't get it." Aiba frowned.

"In the movie, it was cancer," Nino explained, in a sing-song voice. He pulled one hand from his pockets and raised his finger up towards the sky, as if he were pointing out constellations during a star-viewing session. "They tried to cure cancer, and killed everyone with what they created instead."

There was another long stretch of quiet, with the breeze blowing through the long-stemmed weeds at either side. Near the coast, the air was salty and clean.

"So what was it a vaccine for?" Ohno finally asked.

"Alzheimer's," Ai answered. She looked rattled- she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed, and Toma put his arm across her shoulders to pull her in a bit. "We think that's why it's centered so much on memory. Why it targets the brain first."

It was like biological warfare gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Sho was shaking again, and Jun reached over to tangle his fingers with the other man's. Nino was still walking backwards, step by step, frowning a bit in concentration. "But why the other symptoms? Why the rotting flesh?"

Toma shook his head. "Dunno. Heard that the virus is eating the living cells from the inside out, and that's why the memory goes, too."

"Stop," Sho said, suddenly. "Please- just stop."

All six sets of eyes snapped to look at him, but Sho wasn't focused on anything but the ground. His fingers closed tightly around Jun's hand, hungrily- needy. He wasn't okay; he still wasn't okay from the experience with the body, and Jun couldn't entirely blame him for that. It was enough to shake anyone up.

"But don't you want to know-" Ohno started, and Sho interrupted him with an empathic, "No."

Nino regarded him coolly- but not unkindly.

"Okay," the shorter man said, after a long moment. "Fine. Let's just keep walking."

Maybe Nino was too tired to snap, too tired to fight. Maybe underneath all the sarcasm and cheek grins, he really didn't want to know anymore about the virus they were running from, either.

They moved in silence for a long time. Over the side of the hills, Jun could occasionally see the spray of water against cliff rocks- the spray of ocean waves beating against the coast. It was calming and grounding all at the same time. He'd missed the ocean. He couldn't remember the last time he went surfing. And there had always been something peaceful about the waves, no matter how hard they broke against the surf.

They encountered a small beach-town just as the sun started to dip under the horizon, and the sky began to go dark. Ai's hand went back to the handgun, and Toma kept his rifle pointed forward, but it wasn't until halfway through the town, when the street lights flickered on through a hazy fog, that they saw any signs of movement.

It was quick- just a blur at the edge of Jun's vision. He spun a little, but lost it behind a building.

"There's one," Ohno murmured, under his breath. Toma stopped and aimed the rifle to the corner it had disappeared behind, and then there was another flash behind Jun. He turned, and then there was another- and another.

Four? No, five. Another, there, in the corner of the light spilling onto the concrete.

He kept turning, making a circle, and his breath caught in his throat. They were unconsciously starting to move in, forming a tighter pack, and he could hear the wheezing gasps from the others like they were coming from his own throat. Maybe they were.

Another flash, to his left, this one slower.

"Fuck," Toma hissed. The finger poised over the trigger to the rifle was trembling. The outline of a hunched form against the horizon, black with the sun at its back.

"What is this?" Aiba whispered. His elbow was digging into Jun's ribs. "They're everywhere-"

Ai let out a shaky gasp when there was a cackle near one of the ransacked buildings. It echoed a little through the structure, and into the night air.

They really were everywhere. Jun could see them on all sides of his vision, everywhere he looked- some were stumbling out from behind the corners of the buildings lining the street, only to surge back behind another and disappear from sight again. None of them stayed out long enough to solidify in Jun's vision.

They were making sure they couldn't be shot at with accuracy.

They were coordinated.

"Walked into the middle of a fucking hive," Toma rasped. He no longer sounded confident and sure of himself- he sounded just like them, just as scared shitless as the rest of them were, huddled around each other.

Jun kept waiting for one of them to attack- one of them had to lunge, right? There was a reason they were being encircled and trapped like prey- they were dinner.

Toma jammed the butt of his rifle against his shoulder, closing one eye and aiming. The barrels were lined up down the street, towards the direction they needed to continue moving in. "When I shoot," he said, very low, "we move. Run, and just keep moving."

There was an incredibly long moment when Jun forgot to breathe, and then the shots from the rifle rang out through the air. His legs moved without volition, propelling him forward; the others around him did the same, dashing forward with everything they still had left in their energy reserves.

And around them, the figures did the same- with rattling howls.

"Go!" Jun couldn't be sure who uttered it- maybe it wasn't even one of them. Maybe it was one of the creatures following them. But one jumped out almost in front of him with blackened skin and a mouth full of blood-stained teeth, and he dove to one side to avoid it. He narrowly avoided the rake of its fingernails and managed to land at least one hit to the stomach, but the action forced him to the side of a building, rounding some trash cans.

He knocked into them noisily, sending the metal flying, and kept moving. It was an alley- he couldn't see the others, but he could still hear them, and he knew what direction he had to go. He just kept moving.

A figure barreled out in front of him, knocking him over. He rolled and kicked at the back of its knee, shattering what was left of the kneecap. It went down with a howl. Jun didn't know if it could feel much pain, but it definitely wouldn't be running after him anymore with the shin hanging limply off the thigh like that.

He pushed himself up onto his feet once more, taking off again.

"Shoot it!" he could hear Nino hollering from the other side of the building he was running next to. Then there were three gunshots in quick succession; the rounds sounded like they came from Ai's handgun rather than Toma's rifle. There were two distinct shrieks of gurgled pain.

And then, over the din and screaming, "Jun?!"

Sho- he could hear Sho. Jun wanted to bang his hands on the bricks to alert them that he was still moving, still okay, but to do so would alert more to his presence. He just had to get out of the alley he was running through, and he could see the end and the yellow street light beyond it.

A creature appeared at the end of the corridor, blocking the light. Jun had a split second to react and threw himself to his right, to the other building- there was a door there. His shoulder ached when he slammed into it, but the wood splintered open and he stumbled inside whatever the structure had once been, nearly tripping over a chair that had rolled in front of the entrance.

There was another one inside, and Jun could hear it's mangled breathing. He tightened his grip on his metal pole and swung with all his might as it leapt for him. His arms reverberated from the contact.

It wasn't enough to kill, but it was enough to knock the thing down, leaving him an opening.

"-you," the Infected he had just hit wheezed from the ground, and the shock of hearing it speaking knocked the wind from Jun's lungs. "Fuck you!"

It lunged again, and he flew backwards, dropping his pole. Weaponless, he stumbled further into the building he'd fallen into. There weren't any lights on, but there windows, and he could see the outlines of machinery as he ran through it by the filtered orange of the street lamps. It was a car shop- a mechanic's garage. There were still cars up on jacks, meters from the ground, like no one had come to claim the vehicles again.

The thing screamed, mostly un-intelligible, and Jun darted around one of the cars. He needed something to fight with.

He ended up banging his shin on a metal shelving unit. Cursing, he stumbled as the pang shot up his leg- it gave the creature behind him an opportunity to catch up.

Jun grabbed for a wrench, and threw it. He caught the Infected in the head, between it eyes- it fell backwards like it had been shot, collapsing in a heap on the floor. And just when Jun tried to catch his breath again, there were hands darting out from underneath the car he was trembling behind.

Fingers grabbed for his shoelaces. He managed to sidestep them, but his heart was in his throat, and he couldn't see straight from terror in his veins. He kicked instinctively at the jack holding the back of the car up.

Either he had more strength than he knew, or the vehicle had been precariously balanced in the first place; it gave a heaving screech, metal shrieking against metal, and then the jack in the front crumbled when the one in the back clattered out across the floor, and the entirety of the car lurched to one side, falling on the Infected still crying to claw at Jun's ankles.

The creature quieted almost immediately, falling still, and the blood pooled faster than Jun had ever seen it. He tried to get over the growing puddle, but his shoelaces were unhooked, and he tumbled forward, knees hitting the ground with a splash. He managed to catch himself on the tool cabinet, and breathed a long, shaky sigh of relief when his body teetered and stayed upright.

He'd managed to keep his hands from falling in the blood.

His jeans were soaked when he righted himself, but his palms were clean; he wiped them on his shirt anyway. His shin was throbbing from impact with the damn corner, and outside, he could hear gunshots- distinctly from Toma's rifle. They were still close enough for him to hear their voices.

He stumbled back out into the warm night air, and nearly ran into Aiba, who grasped at his wrists with tight fingers immediately. "Jun, Jun, come on, come on, we have to get out-"

He was mostly just babbling, but Jun had never agreed with anymore more- he wanted out. He'd take the openness of the rail line rather than the maze of buildings. There were too many places for the Infected to hide in town.

"Jun, hurry, hurry," Aiba kept gasping, pulling Jun forward, and Jun allowed the other man to tug him down the street.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=16jiuh)

They ran until they couldn’t. His side ached, and finally Ohno called out. “Stop, stop. I can’t run any more!”

It was dark. Jun had no idea where they were, and he was sweating more than he probably ever had. He felt disgusting. “Shit,” Toma muttered, looking around. They’d been moving so quickly away from the last town that the careful progress they’d made earlier had been forgotten.

“We’re lost?” Sho asked.

“No,” Ai said almost immediately. “We’re not. We’re just…”

“Gonna take too long to get to Kashima.” Toma pulled a fading map from the pocket of his jacket. The seven of them huddled under a flickering street lamp as Toma held the map open. There were parts crossed out, just like Nino’s Tokyo map had been. But nearly everything between their current location and Kashima was crossed out. “Boat’s going to leave in two days, with or without us. We can’t afford to fall behind.”

“But we need to clean up,” Aiba complained, holding the one part of his shirt that hadn’t been covered in blood. “This can’t be safe. We can’t keep moving at night like this.”

“And sleep,” Nino grumbled. “I need a nap.”

“Sure, take a nap,” Toma fired back. “And when there’s no boat because they think we’ve all been torn apart, then what?”

Nino quieted down, shrugging out of his bloody jacket and tossing it aside. They’d had to drop their bags ages ago – it was slowing them down. They had no clothes. “Look,” Jun said, leaning against the light pole and still desperate to catch his breath. “We’re gross, all of us. I get that we have to keep moving but…”

“We go through the night,” Ai said decisively. “The boat is more important than anything. And besides, it’s already late. I don’t want to go into a building and get ambushed. We’ll stop tomorrow, get changed.”

They had to bow to the wishes of the people with guns. The people who knew the way to the boat. Nino yawned. “Fine. Which way?”

Their reflexes were bound to be slower. But what choice did they have? They needed to be on that boat. Sho gave his hand a squeeze before moving on ahead after Toma. At least they weren’t running now. They continued off into the darkened streets, and his jeans were getting stiffer and more uncomfortable as the blood started to dry.

\--

By late morning they’d found their way back to the rail line that took them into Kashima. They were like the walking dead themselves. Toma had gone through a few energy drinks he still had in his backpack, but the rest hadn’t been as fortunate. Then again, Toma was toting the big gun – he didn’t need to fall asleep standing up.

They were only a few kilometers from the city’s industrial district where Ai had said the boat was stashed. There’d been no laughter, no howling since they’d moved into the city limits. There was a department store just past one of the railway crossings. Water, fresh clothes…

“And furniture!” Aiba shouted. “I’m going to find a reclining chair.”

“Fuck chairs,” Nino said, rolling his eyes. “I call the best mattress they’ve got out for sale.”

They walked over broken glass to enter the store. Nino went off to find his bed while Toma kept watch at the entrance. Ai, Ohno and Sho went off in search of water in the store cafeteria while he and Aiba went to pick out clothes for everyone. Things had been picked through, and clothes were strewn every which way. People probably imagined the world was ending – they figured it was time to take what they wanted before someone else did.

The electronics section was completely bare as he pushed a shopping cart through to the men’s clothing area. Aiba scampered around, full of an energy Jun knew he himself could never possess. He was exhausted and just leaned against the cart, still thinking about the mechanic’s place and the car falling. He had to focus – had to think about getting on that boat. Aiba gave him a little pat on the head before dumping a heap of clean clothes into the cart.

“You look like crap.”

“Thanks.”

He eyed the things Aiba had tossed into the cart. Nothing too hideous – just t-shirts and new jeans. He grabbed a belt as they pushed back to the furniture area since there was no way Aiba had checked all the labels. Nino was already spread out, limbs sprawling across a nice looking mattress. He’d stripped down to his underwear, leaving his filthy clothes on the floor beside the bed and was already snoring.

“Guess he really was tired,” Aiba said with a smile when they approached. “Water, yes!”

Sho had his arms full with water while Ai and Ohno carried bottled juice and candy. “Just stuff to rot our teeth,” Sho said quietly, “but the sugar should keep us going.”

“We’ll stay until mid-afternoon,” Ai told them. “Then we walk again until it’s dark. If we can meet our people by tomorrow afternoon, we can start making preparations.” She found her way to the mattress next to Nino and flopped down casually. It was nice to have a moment to rest and relax, although she kept the handgun at her side, reminding them that there was no such thing as safe any longer.

“Sounds good,” Jun replied, grabbing a t-shirt and jeans from the cart. He gave Sho a weak smile and took a couple bottles from him. “Be right back.”

Nobody else seemed to have the urge to change yet, but he seemed to be the most disgusting right then anyhow. He shoved his way to the men’s room around the corner. It stunk – he didn’t even need to step into the room to know there were bodies inside. He swallowed down the bile rising in his throat and left.

He had to settle for a dressing room at the other end of the floor. The water would pool all over the floor, but it wasn’t the worst thing that had made a mess in the department store, all things considered. He pulled the t-shirt over his head with a sigh, hearing his neck and arms pop. It would be good to get a nap after this.

The jeans were nearly stuck to him, and he had to tug at the bottom of his one leg. The denim was completely stuck. A rush of pain shot up from his shin as he yanked at the material, tossing the jeans angrily against the dressing room wall.

“Shit,” he hissed, remembering the contact his shin had made at the mechanic’s shop. He’d probably have a nice purple bruise waiting. He opened the first bottle of water and dumped half of it over his head. It was warm from sitting in an abandoned store for a month, but he didn’t care. He rubbed his face, ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe the damn boat would have a real shower?

He poured the water over each limb, little flakes of dried blood scrubbing off as he ran his hands up and down his arm. The floor was growing slick with the water, and he was probably just going to slip and land on his ass. He sat down with a heavy groan, opening the second bottle and pouring some on his right leg, then his left.

The blood that had soaked through his jeans had left red stains over his legs. He ran his hands up and down, watching it disappear. His shin was still tender, so he couldn’t scrub as hard. The blood flaked and vanished until he hit a sore spot. “Son of a…” He’d hit his leg harder than he’d even thought. They’d been so consumed with hurrying away that the pain was only really catching up now.

“Come off,” he grumbled to himself as the injury throbbed. He added more water, but his finger stopped as he reached it.

The bruising and blood stains and his own ignorance had hidden it until now. There was a gouge in his shin, no more than a few centimeters across, and the blood that was coming off with the water was fresh. He pressed his finger against the wound, hand trembling. It was bright when he brought his hand away – it was his own blood.

And he’d landed in the infected one’s after he’d hurt his shin, hadn’t he? Hadn’t he? All he could do was stare at his leg, at the tiny bit of skin that was marred, dark hair matted and damp from the water he’d been pouring. Maybe they were mistaken, he thought frantically as he covered the wound with his hand, shutting his eyes tight to avoid the sight of it.

Maybe infection traveled a different way. Surely it hadn’t been enough to get him. No, his mind was screaming now. You walked around for hours, bleeding, with blood of an infected soaking into your jeans. He pulled his hand away. Still red.

He dropped the water bottle, plastic hitting linoleum and it spilled on his boxers, spraying onto the fresh clothes he’d brought in with him. “No,” he whispered. “No no no, please.” He scooted backwards until he hit the dressing room wall, rattling the filthy mirror. His mouth felt dry, and he couldn’t breathe. “No.”

The blood was trickling down his leg – his life was draining out wasn’t it? The boat. They’d reach the boat in another day, wouldn’t they? Toma and Ai’s friends, they’d want to inspect him, right? He stared at the filthy t-shirt he’d discarded, pulling it to him with a muffled sob.

There were specks in his vision as his tears hit the lenses of his glasses, leaving spots. He tore at the shirt, feeling a ringing in his ears as he ripped the material. He was going to forget. He was going to get angry. His skin was going to disintegrate. People were going to trip over him and take pity but keep moving.

“No!” he sputtered, working the soft shirt material around his leg, tying it tight. There was already red seeping through. “Damn it damn it damn it.” He stumbled to his feet, grabbing the clothes Aiba had picked out. He yanked at the tags, pulling the jeans on. The belt he’d brought lay forgotten as he used his teeth to get the tag off of the new t-shirt.

He pulled it over his head, nearly knocking his glasses off his nose in his haste. He picked up the discarded jeans, tugging his tiny planner from the rear pocket. Jun pulled it open, eyes scanning dates, randomly jotted notes.

“You can’t forget,” he told himself, trying to get his panic attack under control as his wet fingers flipped pages. “You can’t ever forget.” What was he going to tell them? What was he going to tell Sho?

He shoved the planner into his pocket and used the water he hadn’t spilt to clean his hands, drying them on his new jeans. His wound wasn’t bleeding through. But what did it matter? He tossed the old jeans and shirt in the corner of the room, sliding back into his sneakers.

Jun pulled the door open and nearly stumbled back.

“Hey, took long enough,” Aiba said cheerfully, hand poised to pull the door open himself. “Bathroom’s definitely off limits huh? I’ll change in here too.”

He could barely get a word out, so all he did was nod as he shoved his way around Aiba, who continued into the dressing room. Jun cleaned his glasses on his new shirt, hoping he didn’t look too puffy. There was no time to think about it now – he needed to rest. When he woke up, he could think of what the hell to do.

He made his way back. Ohno was gone, probably off to maintain watch with Toma. Ai and Nino were still fast asleep, and he found Sho curled up on one of the couches. He knelt down, feeling his eyes start to water again. “Damn it,” he whispered. He couldn’t touch him – he could never touch him, not now.

Jun got to his feet, finding another couch. Under the denim on his leg, his wound was probably still bleeding, a constant reminder. He shut his eyes, feeling the planner underneath him in his pocket.

He had to fight it. He had to remember. He had to try remembering everything.


	10. Chapter 10

They left the department store in the afternoon.

Jun's whole world was a haze. He stared at the backs of the figures walking in front of him, just trying to keep one foot moving in front of the other. All he could think about was the rotting flesh of those they had already come up against- those he had been fighting for weeks.

He'd be one of them, soon enough.

The others were chatting in front of him, joking- trying to keep their spirits and energy up, and Jun couldn't focus on anything. He couldn't even make out words. There had to be a way to stop it, to quell it; maybe a way to eject it from his bloodstream, cleanse his veins again.

But the truth of his situation rang like a death knell every time his heels hit the ground, until he couldn't look away any longer.

Some time in- and Jun had no idea how long, there was a hand on his elbow. "Jun?"

He jumped instinctively. Not because of the adrenaline or his completely shot nerves, but because he was afraid- he was afraid of infecting Sho, too, who was looking at him with concerned eyes.

"Sorry," Jun mumbled, and deliberately side-stepped away from the other man.

The expression on Sho's face hurt more than the throbbing in Jun's shin did, making him choke on guilt all over again.

"Just tired," he said. "Just-"

His voice trailed off. Sho's hand fell back down to his side. And when Sho moved to catch back up with Nino and Ohno, Jun wanted to die faster than he knew he was inevitably going to.

Aiba looped his arm around Jun's shoulders a bit, and though Jun stiffened at the contact, he didn't pull away- he couldn't infect Aiba without bodily fluids, so he was a safe bet to collapse against.

"Are you okay?" Aiba asked. It shouldn't have needed to be asked- Aiba was still hurting, still mourning, and his grief was fresh.

"Sure," Jun replied, and the lie tasted like ash.

\--

They hit the last of the small towns when the sun went down, and Toma found a house- it wasn't above ground, and they had to move shelves and furniture in front of the windows to secure it; even then it wasn't really all that safe, and two of them had to stay up at all times to keep watch. But it was something, and they could at least sleep.

Jun didn't sleep. He kept himself away from Sho, whose confused face made Jun's stomach twist, and curled himself into a ball near the wall instead, arms wrapped around himself. Even when Aiba's regular, heavy breathing settled over the room like calming waves, he couldn't find solace.

He would never find solace again.

He still had his memories, didn't he? He could still remember his past- his childhood. It stretched out like shadowed fingers, but it was there. He remembered the time his sister got angry and pushed him down, and he hit his head on the door. He remembered the first day of school, and clinging to his mother's hand because he was unwilling to go in without her. He could still recall graduation, and going to college.

He could still feel Sho's mouth hot against his own, and Sho's hands feverishly sliding.

A sob caught in his throat, and he had to swallow it down, biting on his hand to keep himself from making any noise.

Jun knew he couldn't get on that boat.

He'd agreed with Ai when she'd said they couldn't take the Infected out with them- he knew it, no matter how much he tried to tell himself otherwise. It was a fact, the cold, harsh fact that was going to tether itself to his ankle like a shackle.

Oh, god, what was he going to do?

He didn't know. As the minutes slowly ticked into hours, and the hours gave way to the rising sun through the blinds, Jun just stared at the palms of his hands lying against the grimy floor he was curled up on. His fingers would lose the flesh, his arms would decompose- and his mind, that would go first. He would lose everything that had made him who he was, everything that had shaped and sculpted and molded his life. He'd be just like a canvas splashed with the crimson of blood and smeared over so that only red remained.

Behind him, a body shifted, sighing- Sho. The sound wasn't of sleep; maybe Sho hadn't slept, either.

The sting of hurting him was keen, but it was the only thing to do. Jun couldn't follow him away from the country, not with the virus shrieking in his veins, marring his being.

He wished for a swift death- it had to be better than waiting for the slow moving axe-swoop to arrive. And he knew his wishes had gone unanswered when the others all began to stir and wake, and he pushed himself up with his palms flat against the cold floor to follow.

\--

"Here," Toma said, pushing inside the half-rotted door to an old shack just off the docks. It reeked of salt- salt and fish, of the smell of the sea. Compared to the stench of rotting flesh, it was a welcome change. "Wait out here, and we'll talk to them."

Toma got snippy with little sleep, but Ai gave them all a half-smile as she followed inside.

And Nino turned, looking a little out of breath. "This is it."

There was a trill of anticipation in his tone. The others perked, and Jun just wished he could share in the sentiment. He stared out at the dock, at the boats anchored there, wondering which was the one that would take the others away- which was the one that he would watch sail off as he remained on damned soil.

There was a hand on his elbow, and this time, the fingers were insistent. Hard. They closed down tightly without remorse and immediately began tugging Jun away down the shoreline, past the rickety shack and around a corner where they were out of sight of the other three.

"What's wrong?" Sho asked, immediately, as soon as they were in the shadows.

Jun shrugged out of his hold, breath quickening. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Sho snapped. "You've been avoiding me. Why?"

"I-" Jun started. He was prepared to deny it, but he couldn't- and he was no longer sure he wanted to. If Sho thought he didn't care, it would be easier to watch him leave. If Sho was angry and upset, Jun could let him go without a fuss. "I can't do this anymore."

A long moment, and Sho's eyes were wide. "What?"

"I thought I could," Jun barreled through, keeping his eyes just over Sho's shoulder. He couldn't meet the other man's gaze; it would break him, crack his defenses. "And I just can't. I'm sorry."

He swallowed thickly. "I- I don't want to be with you."

His hands were balled into such tight fists that his fingernails were digging into his own palms like tiny blades. And Sho just stared at him, stared at him without really seeing.

"You-" Sho began.

"Stop," Jun interrupted. "Just- nothing you can say will change this. I'm sorry."

It was getting too hard to breathe. Jun thought he would fall, collapse; slide down the incline to the sand and evaporate into the ocean itself. Everything was falling apart inside, and he was never going to be able to put it back together again.

"Jun! Sho!" came the cry from beyond the building's corner.

Sho took a shaky step backwards, almost looking like he would fall.

"Jun," he breathed, and oh, it was almost enough, it was almost enough and Jun wanted to take it all back-

"Hey!" the shout from the group resounded. "Guys, come on!"

Jun left Sho standing in the shadows, and he thought his heart was breaking. Toma and Ai were waiting by the other three- and none of them looked particularly pleased. There was an odd skip to Jun's breathing.

"Boat needs repairs," Ai explained. She glanced over Jun's shoulder at Sho, slowly rejoining the group with heavy steps. "We're leaving tomorrow."

Nino made an exasperated sounding noise, spinning and glaring at the sky. "We're so close!"

"Just one more night," Ohno said. He reached for Nino's hand unabashedly. "What's one more night?"

 _Everything,_ Jun thought, stomach dropping.

\--

They stayed in an apartment that night that had been cleaned up a little; obviously by Toma and Ai's people. Jun wasn't sure if he was glad for it, or resentful at the kindness. The seven sat around watching Nino doing magic tricks with Aiba's deck of cards long after the sun had gone down.

"Remember what your card was?" Nino asked Aiba.

"Yes!" Aiba exclaimed, and then, after a moment, "Wait- wait. I- yes!"

Nino smacked Aiba's leg a bit with the hand holding the rest of the deck. "This doesn't work if you don't. Do you remember?"

"I remember," Ohno said.

"Me, too," Ai laughed. "Finish the trick."

How long before Jun forgot what magic tricks were? Or who Aiba was?

"Alright, alright," Nino said. He shuffled the cards, and cut the deck twice. He showed them all the cards- and his hands- and then turned back to Aiba. While flipping through the cards he hummed a little bit, a song that Jun didn't recognize. It sounded like music from a video game or something.

Beside Ohno, Sho was slumped forward, hands in his lap. He looked like his world was falling apart, like he couldn't find anything left to cling to.

He looked like Jun felt.

"Tada!" Nino said, producing Aiba's card. There was a quirk to his mouth, a cunning little smirk.

"Wow!" Aiba exclaimed. "That's amazing! When we get on the boat, will you show me how to do this?"

Nino snorted, re-shuffling the cards. "No, of course not." He grabbed Aiba's card back, ignoring Aiba's protests.

"Oh, come on," Aiba whined. "Jun, when we get on the boat, make him-"

"I'm not going on the boat," Jun said.

Everything in the room hit a screeching halt, Jun's breathing included. He hadn't meant to say that- he hadn't meant to say anything. But it was out there, and it was shrieking, and he couldn't swallow it back anymore.

Ohno laughed. He obviously thought Jun was joking.

"I'm not going on the boat," Jun repeated. "I- can't."

"Do you get seasick?" Nino asked, slipping the cards back into the box and closing it with a smart snap. "I do, and it sucks, but it's just the-"

" _No,_ " Jun cried. "Don't you understand me? _I can't go._ "

There was a very, very long pause, and Ai let out a little gasp.

Aiba reached for Jun's hand. "No, Jun. No- that can't be. You're lying, why are you lying?" And Jun violently tugged his wrist out of Aiba's fingers, because he could taste bile at the back of his throat. They shouldn't touch him- they shouldn't even be near him. He was Infected; he was worse than dead.

Oh, god, he was worse than dead.

"I'm not lying," Jun said. He didn't want to look at Sho, but his gaze moved without volition. Sho wasn't even looking at him, was just staring down at his hands. Probably disgusted. He probably hated Jun and was disgusted with himself all at the same time.

"But," Ohno whispered, "how do you know?"

"Listen to me!" Jun all but exploded. "I'm not lying to you. I can't get on the boat- I got cut, okay? I was stupid, and I got cut, and- I know."

He fumbled with his pant leg, pulling the denim up to expose the bit of ripped shirt he'd tied around his shin. It had bled through the material from use, from walking on it, and most of the cotton was stained crimson.

The sob lodged itself in his throat and he choked on it, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "You guys, I know. I'm-"

He couldn't finish.

Nino looked disbelieving. "It's just a cut, you don't know anything."

"Did you see my jeans?" Jun laughed, mirthlessly. It hurt to do so, and he couldn't stop. "Did you see the blood I feel into? Do you know what it was from? The thing chasing me- I knocked a car over on it. There was blood everywhere, and it was all over my jeans, and my leg."

He just kept laughing like something was hilarious.

"I'm not stupid," he rasped. "Do you guys think I'm stupid? I know what this means."

"Jun," Aiba said, voice cracking.

"How much does it take?" Jun demanded, meeting Toma's stricken gaze. "How much does it take to infect someone?"

When the other man didn't answer right away, Jun slammed his hands down onto the floor. "How much does it take?!"

"A drop," Toma whispered.

More silence, and Jun's ragged breathing. "Did you hear him? A drop. That's all it takes- a drop. And I was covered in it with an open wound."

Ohno's eyes were wide. Nino was staring at the box of cards in his hand. Toma and Ai both looked upset, jarred, like maybe the thought it was their fault. Aiba's eyes were glistening. And Sho-

Sho wouldn't look at him.

"I need you to lock me up," Jun gasped into his hands. "I don't want to hurt anyone, so I need you to put me somewhere safe, where I can't. And lock it. Just throw away the key, okay? Get rid of it."

For a long time, there was no sound. Jun crawled to the corner of the wide living room, as far away from the others as he could get, and when he laid down there, his planner poked his thigh from inside his back pocket. It was like a reminder of everything he was going to forget- everything that was going to disappear.

"Just do it," he said, so low he wasn't sure the others could still hear him. "Don't touch me, don't come near me- just lock me up before you leave tomorrow."

Aiba was crying. Jun buried his face in his palms.

"Please. That's my last request."

He was exhausted. Everything was a blur. When he folded his arms over his face, wrapping them around his head, he could at least pretend that he was alone, and the gut-wrenching events of the next day were over.

He didn't know how long they stayed up after that, because all he could hear was Infected cackling against his ears.

He didn't know anything anymore, except that he was going to die.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2cxxajc)

He was falling.

But he couldn’t scream. Because if he did he knew he’d lost it, gone past that point nobody came back from.

He was disintegrating, losing the feeling in his feet, in his legs. There was nothing but sky and he kept falling, and there was no parachute. His arms were at his sides, and he watched himself start to break apart. It wasn’t rotting. That was strange.

It was like pulling each individual petal off of a flower, and he just watched, tilting his head back and forth to see one finger turn to particles on his left hand before seeing his thumb disappear on his right. He felt lighter with each passing second, and he closed his eyes, feeling the slightest stinging.

It was like tiny prickles, like having phantom limbs. They were gone. He knew they were gone even with his eyes shut tight. But he knew his fingers had been there. Air rushed around him, into his ears and mouth, a whoosh of pressure as he suddenly halted.

He tried to cough but couldn’t. His eyes wouldn’t open – maybe they’d disintegrated already. But where he’d been so light now there was pressure. Where his chest had been was just a building weight, like he was being flattened.

Get off, he thought. Get off of me. But struggling was near impossible – he had no arms, no legs to fight back with. The pressure was against his mouth, if he still had one, and heat raced through his veins. He was tangible and yet not at the same time. He wanted to claw at the warmth, to get it away from him, to just be able to keep falling as carefree as he had been.

He was dreaming, Jun realized. Clarity started to return as the pressure on him increased. There was a sharp pain by his mouth, jolting him from falling through the skies. He felt the hard floorboards under his back, but he could barely breathe. The pressure on his chest was another person on top of him, each arm pinned by the grip of another person’s hand.

The pain increased as he tried to breathe. Someone was on top of him. He was returning to consciousness, and someone was on top of him. He made a sound and someone’s – someone’s tongue licked his lower lip. Licked his lip where they’d just…bitten him?

“No,” he whispered, struggling. “What are you…”

His breath was stolen, the aggression replaced with a soft kiss, gentle trembling lips. He knew this mouth. Oh fuck, what had he done? What had Sho done?

All he knew was red in his vision, and with strength he didn’t know he had, he screamed and knocked Sho onto his back. He heard the whoosh of Sho’s surprise as the breath flew out of his lungs and the crunch as his glasses were crushed underneath Sho’s back. Jun didn’t know left from right, up from down as he moved, straddling the stupid, stupid, stupid…

“No!” he howled, fist moving without thinking. It made contact with Sho’s face, and Jun felt his knuckles split. “No!” It was too late – Jun could feel the blood on his lip. Sho had bitten him – he’d fucking bitten him, swapped spit with him. Sho was shaking underneath him, putting his hands up to cover his face. But Jun was elsewhere, punching and screaming. Did he know what he’d done? Did he have any idea what he’d done?

What seemed like an eternity had probably been seconds as he kept raining blows down, full of a rage he couldn’t control. And Sho was just lying there under him, trying to keep himself covered. There were hands on his arms then, pulling him off. And someone was being noisy, earsplitting. He realized as Aiba pulled him away from Sho that he was actually the one screaming.

“Sho!” Ai was crying, and Jun struggled against Aiba’s grasp until Toma moved over to help drag him away.

“What the fuck just happened?” Nino screeched.

Jun spat on the floor, and Aiba released him, jumping away from the infected blood that was now staining the floorboard. “He infected himself!” he cried, falling back until he hit the wall, sliding down onto his backside. “He…he…”

Sho was laughing, and the others stepped back, gave the both of them space. All Jun could do was stare in horror as Sho just laughed, tears streaming down his cheeks. Jun had punched him good, and blood was running down his nose, staining his lips.

Aiba was heartbroken. “Sho, why did you…”

“My parents are dead!” Sho cried. “My family is dead, Masaki! I can’t do this any more. I’m not like you. I can’t keep going any more. And I can’t get on a boat if Jun’s not on it too!”

Everyone was quiet, and Jun shook violently, wrapping his arms around himself as he felt the blood, his own infected blood, dribble down from his lip to his chin.

Sho looked him in the eye, still laughing like a man possessed. “I left you before. I’m not going to leave you again. I promised, didn’t I?”

“Stupid,” Jun mumbled. His glasses were gone, his vision was limited, and he hadn’t woken up fast enough to stop him. “You’re so stupid, senpai.”

Nobody knew what to say. What the fuck could anyone say? Finally, Toma cleared his throat. “Sun’ll be up in an hour or so. I’m going to go check on the boat.” Everyone decided this was a good idea, clearing out of the small apartment and leaving the two of them alone.

Sho stared at him, blood still trickling down his face. “I’d never forgive myself,” he said, voice a little off from the blow to his nose. “Never.”

Jun was overwhelmed. He didn’t know if he hated Sho enough to strangle him…or if he wanted to knock him back to the ground and fuck him until they both collapsed. He settled for something in between, spitting another mouthful of blood on the ground.

Sho struggled to his feet, shuffling over to hold out his hand. Jun looked at it, squinting, eyes transfixed by every finger, the faint blue veins, the fingernails bitten to the quick. How long before his hand, before every part of Sho was gone? Jun took Sho’s hand, bringing it to his lips. He pressed his mouth against Sho’s palm, knowing his infected blood was smearing against the pale skin.

But it didn’t matter. Sho had made his choice. His senpai ran his other hand through Jun’s hair, tugging gently at the strands. Jun closed his eyes.

They’d both made their choice.

\--

Toma and Ai took them to a small building near the subway station made of red bricks.

Aiba- the only one who was really getting close to them anymore, and even he was walking a few meters away- stopped outside the front door, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Jun paused behind him, trying to still his rapidly pounding heartbeat. He still couldn't wrap his head around any of it- this wasn't how it was supposed to go down.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

"Jail?" Sho asked, quietly, when it appeared no one else was going to speak.

"It's the only place I could think of where you couldn't get out," Toma said. He didn't catch Jun's eye- none of them would. Everyone's gazes were pointed down at their feet, at the cracks in the concrete. "I know it's... weird."

No, it wasn't weird. Nothing was weird anymore- how could it be weird when there was a ticking time bomb over Jun's head? How could anything be weird when the only person he'd ever really cared about had just fucking infected himself, damning them both?

"It's not very big," Jun said.

Toma glanced over his shoulder at the building, and Jun thought maybe he could see the other man's arm shaking against the rifle leaning against his chest. "It's just the interim."

Their footsteps echoed when they walked inside. Every step only made Jun's heart sink lower and lower into his stomach- this was it.

Even though he knew it had been coming, even though he knew it had to be done, it still felt like a punch in the gut stepping inside the room and moving towards one of the cells in the back. They were just holding cells, rudimentary; not meant to be used for more than a few days.

But he and Sho wouldn't have more than a few days, would they?

Ai rummaged around in the desk near the cells, and produced some keys. "I- I'm sorry." She looked sincere, like maybe she was about to cry and the tears were just behind her vision, barely being held back. "I wish..."

"Boat will be leaving soon," Jun whispered. They could't draw this out. He wouldn't last; they needed to push him inside with Sho, and just lock the door. He wasn't sure if he could hold out otherwise.

And then Aiba was hugging him, arms tight around his shoulders despite everything, and he might have been crying into Jun's shoulder. He pulled back quickly- maybe he was nervous still, maybe he didn't want to accidentally make Jun cry as well. But his hands lingered on Jun's arms, and his fingers were solid.

"You're my best friend," he sobbed.

Jun's temples throbbed from the tears he was trying vainly to hold back. "You're mine, too, Masaki."

"Please," Aiba whispered. "This can't be the only way."

"They can't come with us," Toma said, but he didn't sound like he enjoyed having to say it. Aiba reached for Sho next, embracing him as well, a sob hitching a little in his chest.

Ohno started tugging on Aiba's sleeve, pulling him towards the door, and that was when the dam broke. Aiba reached for Jun, reached with outstretched fingers even as Ohno and Nino pulled him backwards. "No! We can't leave them here! We have to help them!"

Nino's face was set. "Can't help them now."

"Go, Masaki," Jun choked out. "Just- go, okay? Go and survive."

"Jun!" Aiba just kept shrieking, like a crazed madman, trying and trying in vain to struggle against the hold on his body tugging him back towards the door. And Jun had to tear his eyes away because if he didn't, he wasn't going to be able to stay. He willed his feet to move him into the cell against the wall, trying to block the sounds and scraping and Aiba's frenzied shouting from his ears.

Sho stumbled in next to him, trembling, as Aiba kept screaming. "No! We have to help! Jun!"

"Stop," Jun just pleaded, head in his hands. "Please, Masaki, stop..."

Ohno's gaze was calm, but there was the twinkling of moisture in his eyes- just at the corners, the edges. He looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Jun wouldn't have known what to say anything- what was appropriate? Thank you for getting us out of the safety center, even though this happened? Thank you for not killing us in our sleep even though it might have been better?

Toma shifted near the door, taking the keys from Ai's hand and giving her the rifle instead. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there- doing anything but what he was doing.

"This..." he started, and then seemed to be at a loss. He pulled the cell door closed, and the sound echoed through the chamber loudly. It almost hurt Jun's ears. The key slid into the lock with a note of finality that knocked the wind from his lungs.

"I know," Sho said.

"It's the right thing to do," Toma finished, lamely.

The lock clicked decisively.

"Take care of them," Jun whispered. "Keep them safe."

Toma nodded, and Ai gave them a watery smile, and when they turned away to walk out the front door, Jun let his head fall against the cell door. Everything was hot and bright at the edges of his vision, bitter in the back of his mouth. Regret, guilt, shame- they all boiled up and collided with each other, jumbling around in his chest.

Next to him, Sho shifted a little, soles skidding against cement floor.

"You were supposed to live," Jun said, and the words caught bit on his tongue.

Sho's hand moved until it was half on top of Jun's own, fingers curling around gently. "No. I wasn't."

There were footsteps in the entrance again, just when Jun thought he was losing control of everything completely. It was Nino, breathless and flushed, wearing an expression akin to- something Jun couldn't touch. Something he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to identify.

"We'll come back," Nino gasped, words coming out in a jumbled heap and mingled with the impending onslaught of tears. "We'll come back, you hear me? When they've got a way to fix it."

He looked shaken. He took one step forward, and then paused, apparently unable to move any further. "We'll come back for you."

And then he fled again, footsteps disappearing beyond the door frame.

For a long time, Jun couldn't move. He didn't move until Sho reached over to pull him in a little, hands soft and gentle along his jaw-line.

"I guess," Jun started, and couldn't swallow back the laughter that bubbled up into his throat, stinging, "this wasn't how I thought it was going to end."

How long before his fingers started rotting, starting peeling away to reveal bone?

"I know," Sho whispered. His fingertips swept across Jun's forehead, pushing away tendrils of hair. "But I promised. This was my choice."

Jun sighed, and sunk into the embrace a little bit. Sho laughed softly against his bangs. "I still can't believe you only got a B- on that test. We studied for days."

A long moment of silence passed between them.

Jun pulled back a little, looking at Sho, confused.

"What?" he asked.

\--

The bandaging itches, but they won’t let him take it off. But he peeks from time to time. On his left leg, the bandaging is wrapped from just under his knee to above his ankle. On his right arm, it’s been patched from his wrist to the middle of his forearm.

“Lucky,” the nurse with the mole over her top lip always calls him when she comes in to change the wrapping. He just rolls his eyes. He doesn’t feel particularly lucky when he’s healing from skin grafts and has a tube dripping fluid into him twenty-four hours a day. He can’t even piss on his own, and he’ll be happy when the catheter’s gone.

There’s TV here, but he doesn’t know Korean. There’s newspapers here, but again, he doesn’t know Korean.

The guy on the other side of the curtain can understand, passably. But his throat’s always so damn scratchy that talking to his roommate isn’t at the top of his priority list. He must have done a lot of screaming before he got here. But whatever they’ve got in the IV is making it all hazy. There are blood draws, and he’s got more needle marks marring his skin than a heroin addict.

He gets to walk to the window and back a few times a day, but the grafts are still healing. He can’t have much more exercise than that. But he doesn’t particularly enjoy the look of the parking lot outside anyhow, so the outside holds little appeal. The news reports are strange, like he’s in some kind of weird drama.

“Twenty million,” they keep throwing around. It’s the number his roommate keeps repeating out loud. Even at night, he hears the guy’s voice. “Twenty million.”

He tries to overhear the nurses when they chat in the hallway, but they’re always so quiet. All he hears is “timetable” and “United Nations clean up” and “rebuild” and it means very little to him.

When they wheel in his meal and more of that horrible watery jelly, the nurse with the mole is smiling. “You’ve got a visitor today, Lucky.”

He nods. The roommate’s sound asleep on the other side of the curtain. He’d rather be sleeping than have to deal with someone else staring at him like he’s some kind of miracle. Some kind of circus freak.

The doctor’s at the door, speaking to the visitor. There’s a long list of don’ts – he wishes he could hear what they aren’t allowed to say or ask. He doesn’t see why they can’t ask him. Weird questions beat getting poked and prodded and more needles.

The guy’s his age with a smile that lights up his whole face as he drags a chair over. “You’re looking better today. You were asleep last time.”

“Sorry,” he manages to reply, throat still hurting. It’s like he’s had to learn how to speak all over again.

He’s got a plastic grocery bag balanced in his lap. The guy’s legs are shaking in nervous tension or excitement, he can’t tell. But the bag is noisy, and it’s going to wake up the other patient.

“Ohno and Nino are going back tomorrow. I think they’ll stop in and say hi before their flight.”

He just nods.

“I’m not sure when I can leave. I mean, where am I going to go, right?” The visitor has a nervous, breathy laugh that seems oddly endearing. “No classes now, haha.”

“Right.”

The young man’s face grows serious. “Doctor told me we came back just in time. You don’t know what it was like, on that boat. Toma had to keep me from jumping in the water to swim back half a dozen times. We’re just lucky we picked up the broadcast. About the cure, I mean.”

This means very little to him, this talk of boats and broadcasts and cures. He’s a human guinea pig. All he knows is terrible hospital jelly and melodramatic Korean television that he can’t really see. He needs glasses. “Everyone’s calling me lucky.”

“You both are,” the guy says, glancing past him at the curtain. “Oh!” He digs through the bag, pulling out a small day planner that’s clearly seen better days. “They finally said I could bring this. It’s been in the containment or wherever. I told them they couldn’t burn it.”

He takes the planner, running his finger over it. “Thanks.”

“You remember it? You were always scribbling in it.”

“I was?” He opens it, seeing stains on several pages. Some are even stuck together. There are random things written on the pages. Addresses, names, even a recipe? “I don’t…”

“It’ll come back, right? I mean…”

The guy gets really quiet as he turns a few more pages. His head is starting to hurt, and his visitor looks really uncomfortable. “Thank you,” he tells the man. “For coming to see me.”

I just wish I knew who you were.

“They said only a few minutes. I’m sorry. I’d stay all day if you wanted.” The guy’s gaze is drawn to the curtain again. “He’s sleeping still?”

“Yeah.”

His visitor frowns. “Well, tell him I’m coming tomorrow. And I’ll bring him a whole bunch of newspapers. Any newspaper he wants.”

“Okay. I’ll let him know uh…” He shuts the planner and tries to smile. “I’m sorry?"

“Masaki.”

“Masaki,” he repeats. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, don’t worry, okay?”

Easier said than done. “Okay.”

Masaki shoves the empty bag in the pocket of his jeans and stands. “Tomorrow then.”

He watches him go. Oh well. A quick glance at the clock on the wall reminds him that they’ll be coming for a blood draw in ten minutes. It would be mean to wake the other guy up now, but it might be worse for him to get woken by a needle jab in his arm.

“Hey. Sakurai.”

Bed sheets rustle on the other side of the curtain, and finally the guy’s bandaged left hand pulls it open. “I was sleeping.”

“Yeah, sorry. But they’ll be in for vampire time soon.”

“Ugh,” his roommate grumbles, flopping back against his pillow. “Great.”

Using his voice for so long is going to get the doctor pissed at him. “Someone named Masaki is bringing you newspapers tomorrow.”

“Finally.”

He flips through the planner again while Sakurai hits the switch on the bed rail for the television. His eyes stop on a page, one of the last ones that has handwriting on it.

Was this why? Why there’s always that strange twist in his gut whenever the curtain is open and he sees the person in the other bed? Sure would be interesting once he got the full story – too bad the doctors couldn't tell him if his mind would ever catch back up with his body.

“Hey.”

Sakurai looks over. “Yeah?”

“Your given name…it’s Sho, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

A blush creeps into his cheeks, and he closes the planner, shoving it in the drawer next to his bed.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=2qve0s9)


End file.
